


My feelings? Or yours?

by ExoBtsMonstaXBoyfriend01



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Sickfic, Yullen, neko
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-01-04 05:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 71,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18337361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExoBtsMonstaXBoyfriend01/pseuds/ExoBtsMonstaXBoyfriend01
Summary: This is D gray man fanfiction is a Role-playing that I play with my friend Gerica Garingan on Messager with this plot.Allen and Kanda are sended on a mission where one of them is more hurt than they thought it would be forcing the other one to take care of him. And slowly our two boys discover that they have feelings for each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also if you have any ideas for me to make an non Role-playing fanfiction then I would try to turn them in fanfiction. It can be parental with Cross and Allen. Or Allen and Mana. Or it can be Yullen.

Allen was grumbling as he was following Kanda towards the train station.

"And the day has started so well", he thought to himself. After he finished his morning routine Allen eat his usual giant breakfast and after that he was sended in Komui office for an extermination mission.

And the worst part, Kanda was his partner. He could have done the mission alone as well as its wasn't innocence involved. But Komui wanted for both of them to go. "Stupid Komui ", the younger boy muttered to himself.

Kanda's eyes twitch in irritation as that moyashi began to mumble incomprehensibly. Unfortunately, as much as he would like to leave, he can't. This damn mission came from the higher ups itself and the both of them are specifically chosen for this for their skills and adaptability. And as much as he hates the beansprout, he also reluctantly respect his skills. But that doesn't make him any happier.

"Che." Kanda internally curse Komui. He decides to vent his frustation to moyashi. "Get faster, moyashi!"

" My name is Allen Ba-Kanda. And don't think that I'm pleased with this situation. I don't like to be here as much as you aren't ", Allen said glaring at Kanda but his glare softened slightly as Timcanpy nuzzled against his cheek, from his spot on his shoulder. 

Arriving at the train station, Allen climbed in the train after Kanda and entering in the private compartment, he took a seat opsite of the older boy and took out the papers from Komui.

 "Che." Kanda said in response.

Sitting down in their cabin, Kanda decided to meditate instead. He closes his eyes and began to relax. Meditating helps him concentrates. It makes him realize his goals. It controls his temper, Right now, nothing matters.

Then the cabin door slides open.

Kanda immediately grips his sword, alert. But he only sees the conductor and a flustered finder talking to him. It seems that this conductor is new to his job and doesn't know anything at all about exorcist. Then he sees moyashi butting in the conversation.

He relax his grip to the sword and but doesn't go back to meditating. Let the moyashi do the fussing. He'll be observing for now.

After he finished his talk with the conductor he gave the two men a smile before they left.

Looking towards Kanda he saw that the older boy was holding the Mugen. Ignoring him he returned to the reading. After he finished he leaned against the window and watched the passing view.

  
A few hours later when Allen was about to fall asleep the train stopped immediately. The immediate stopping almost making the younger boy to fall to the ground. Before he could say anything his left eye glowed red.

"Akuma", he said as he grabbed Kanda hand and dragged him in the Akuma direction.


	2. Chapter 2

Kanda's eyes twitches in irritation for second time of the day. This audacious beansprout just had to grab his hand. Without hesitation he grabs Mugen from his sheath. Activating it under his breath, he immediately attacks moyashi. While he sees that fool dodge, his movement doesn't stop and he slice a level 2 akuma in half.

He looks at the beansprout with derision, "Keep up, moyashi." Then he turns his attention to other akumas.

Allen ignored Kanda comment and he activated his Crown Clown and started to attack half of the Akuma. Minutes later all of them were gone as they were only five Akuma.

Deactivating his innocence Allen checked his body to see that he was covered in bruise and cuts.

"That's were all the Akuma", he said approaching Kanda. But as he approached him, one of his cuts started to burn and something from Kanda smashed inside him. Soon enough he figured that were Kanda dominant emotions. Hate. Anger. Pain. Depression. Soon the pain from the emotions was to much and the burning pain from the cut wasn't helping. So Allen couldn't hold on anymore and he passed out.

Sheathing his sword back, Kanda waits for the beansprout to come to him. While waiting, he observes the carnage around him. He frowns. It seems that they were led away by the akuma from the train station into the deep forest. Not only that, but only him and the moyashi is here. Not even that inspector manage to follow them here.  
What could have prompt the akumas to do this?  
Could it be about the fourteenth?  
Something is wrong.  
Before he could react, it seems that a ball of light emerge from him. It immediately attacks the beansprout.  
He turns back. “Moyashi—“  
Kanda immediately pull up the beansprout when he notice that the fool collapse lying face down in the ground. He notice that except for some cuts and bruises, he is fine. If not for the pain contorting on the beansprout’s face, Kanda would think that he is asleep. He tried to find the ball of light.   
Instead, Kanda notices something else.   
Kanda’s face frowned deeper. His face twisted in anger. An image of lotus can be seen in the fool’s bared chest.  
“This is. . .” Kanda muttered angrily to himself.  
Then he heard the fool groan in pain.  
“Che.” He carries the beansprout under his arms, and walk to find some shelter.   
Before the sun sets, he manage to find a nearby cave. He sets the beansprout in a lying position and immediately create fire for the night. While the golem hovers worriedly over the beansprout, he manage to see if they have food and water for the night. Except for some crackers and two bottles of water, they have nothing else. This would just have to do. Tomorrow they will have to find a town nearby. Then he rummages around his memories, trying to recall what happened earlier.  
That’s right he remembers. A strange akuma was there. The strange thing about him is that he never stops laughing even when he is dying. If he remembers it right, the akuma said he has a surprise for him. Could it be that this is the surprise the akuma is saying earlier. Then he notices that fool waking up.

Even in his unconscious state Allen could feel himself being carried in someone arms. He thought that he maybe Kanda as the wound still pulsate and he could still feel his emotions strongly, like they are own. When he started to come to awareness he could feel himself laying on something hard and cold. Opening his eyes a little he saw a golden ball flying around him, he figured that he was Timcanpy. The younger boy let a couple of tears to fall on his cheeks as he blinked a little and turned to see Kanda.   
"Why? Why do you have so much negative emotions bolted in you? "


	3. Chapter 3

Kanda stops moving and he sneered at the beansprout. “Does it matter to you?”  
He grips the mugen very hard. Could this be what that akuma refers earlier? This is far serious than he thought? How deep could this moyashi feels his emotions? And what are the other effects?

Allen sit up in sitting position and weakly grabbed Kanda coat. Even though he was feeling weak because of both pains, he managed to hold onto Kanda coat as strongly as he can.   
"Yes it's matter. I can feel your emotions like they are mine. Hate. Anger. Pain. Sadness. And I want to know why you bolt them and don't let go of them. It's not healthy. "

Kanda frowned angrily. This beansprout really is making him angry.  
“Hoh. Spoken like a true fool you are.” Kanda said coldly. “Just because you can feel my emotions doesn’t mean you have the right to mess with how I deal with it. This is my emotions, not yours.”  
Then he grabs the crackers and the bottle of water and throw it to moyashi.  
“Instead of dealing with my emotions, you should just quietly rest and eat.” Kanda orders coldly. “The order may value you but I don’t particularly care if you die right now. Tomorrow morning, we will set out to find a town.”

Allen let go of Kanda and threw the food and water back to Kanda. He wasn't neither hungry or thirsty. Plus he knew that if he would eat something he would throw it up because of the pain. So he layed back down on the ground with his back at Kanda and closed his eyes.   
Timcanpy nuzzled his master cheek for a few minutes, and after that he flew in front of Kanda and barred his teeths at him, because of his attitude.

Kanda ignored the golem and began to meditate instead. Timcanpy, vexed by the lack of attention began to gnaw at Kanda.  
Kanda, in response, glares at the golem to submission. When that fails, he grabs the tail of the annoying golem to teach it a lesson. Unbelievably, before he could do anything, in his anger the golem turned smashed in his hand. Of course it doesn’t take long before the golem came alive once more and run away from him, frightened.  
“Che.” Kanda said angrily. Just now he loss control over his emotions. He is angry over himself right now. Knowing this is not good, he tried to meditate, to keep his calm, but nothing works.  
So he thought about her. His anger turn to fizzle and become melancholy. Yes, he need to find her. That has been his goal along. So right now he has to keep calm. After he goes back to the order, he would request for a solo mission to find her.  
With nothing to do, he stood up and guard at the opening of the cave, looking at the moon.

Even though his eyes were closed Allen couldn't fall back asleep. His thoughts were full of Kanda emotions and his words. Allen opened his eyes glared at the dark wall of the cave. "Just how could I feel for this asshole", Allen thought to himself before closing his eyes back. Yeah Allen did develop feelings for Kanda, no matter how of a jerk the older boy was. It happened after they're first mission in Matel. But he didn't tell anyone, especially Kanda because he knew that the older boy would feel the same way. Never.   
In the end Allen managed to fall asleep after a hour of not doing anything that thinking. He was awakened by the sun that tried to burn his eyelids, the next morning.

When the sun rise up, Kanda knew it’s time to move. He doused the flames in the cave and collect the uneaten food and water. When he looks at the beansprout, he knew that something is wrong. The beansprout’s face is flushed and when Kanda touch him, he was burning.  
Of all things, the beansprout have to develop a fever. But they couldn’t dawdle here anymore. They still have to find a town to contact the headquarters. So grudgingly, he carries the beansprout on his back and began to run to find a town.   
Two hours pass in this fashion.  
Finally, Kanda sees some settlements nearby. At the same time, he feels the moyashi stirring from his back, so he promptly stop. Just now he wonders if he should just drop this beansprout now or continue speeding into the town. Thinking fast, Kanda just decided to speed up. The beansprout have fever and haven’t eaten anything last night so Kanda knows the fool is greatly weaken now. Dropping him now and telling him to walk will just slow them down. Not to mention that there is still the unknown effects of the akuma to the beansprout.


	4. Chapter 4

In his feverish state Allen could feel himself being carried in Kanda back. Allen was worried,because he couldn't have fever. He knew what happens when his body is to weak. He opened his eyes slightly and he could feel a town close, and immediately as he could feel the effects of his weakened body he pushed himself from Kanda back and falled on the ground. Even though he couldn't see, he could feel that his eyes turned gold and he tried to focus and make them back to normal. But he was weak. Soon he practically saw his body rising from the ground, and he knew that he lost control of the 14th. His eyes widened when he saw himself grabbing Kanda by the neck and smashed him to the ground, holding him tight and smilling wickedly.

Surprised that the beansprout fall from his back, he immediately turns to moyashi. What he didn’t expect is for the huge bloodlust to come from the fool. Before he knows it, he was caught off guard and have his neck in the hand of the noah.  
That golden eyes and terrible grin is sickening.  
“Fourteenth.” Kanda grits out. He began to grope for his sword. He turns deaf to what the fourteenth is saying. Right now he has to survive.  
Kanda manage to hold his sword and activates it. Then he attacks the noah.  
The noah in turn dodges back hurriedly.  
Kanda knows he manage to wound the noah but it seems that instead he was the one wounded.  
Is this the other effect of akumas power?

Allen could feel his body controlled by the 14th dodge every attack that Kanda made. He saw him using his left arm to scratches Kanda, and even though he didn't use innocence the scratches were still oozing blood. He kicked Kanda in the stomach and made him lose the sword. His eyes widened when he saw himself taking the sword and pointed it at Kanda. Immediately he knew that he couldn't let him hurt him or worse. So he fighted against it and with the help of Crown Clown he managed to push the Noah back.   
Allen now in control of his body let go of the sword and backed away and falled on his knees on the ground.   
"I'm sorry. "

Kanda eyes the beansprout warily. He closes the distances and grabs mugen. When he sees the beansprout still not moving, he knows that it is the moyashi, not fourteenth. So he sheaths back his sword. Looking at the defeated moyashi, Kanda clicks his tongue in irritation.  
With the fourteenth surfacing in, it seems as if all the confidence fled from moyashi.  
“Is this just the extent of your will?” Kanda frankly said. “Just because the fourteenth manage to possess you, you will be resigned? Pathetic.”

Allen didn't look at Kanda and neither did move from his spot from the ground because he knew that Kanda is right. "It's not always like this. Normally I can fight him all the time when he tries to take control. But now I couldn't because my body is weak because of the fever. I managed to push him back with the help of Crown Clown because I didn't want him to kill you. "

This! Is this idiot for real?! Before he knows it, Kanda grips the collar of the beansprout and face him. When he notice that the idiot is avoiding his eyes, he feels that he loses control over his temper once more.  
“Look into my eyes, moyashi!” Kanda roars. “So are you really just giving up?! Tell me, did all you just spout out before about saving humanity is all lies?! Are you giving up?!”  
Where is that moyashi he knows and respects?!

Allen still avoided Kanda eyes and he kicked Kanda in the stomach. It's was hard enough because of his weakened body but it's was enough for him to let him go. "Of course I don't gave up on saving the humanity. But I can't fight against him all the time. And it would be a time when I wouldn't be able to do it and he would take control forever. But you can't understand it, no matter how much I explained to you."

 


	5. Chapter 5

Kanda’s rage turn cold. He knows it. People like this fool always promises and promises but in the end they themselves break this promise. He couldn’t help but feel angry and maybe just a bit disappointed. He expect more fight from this fool. Right now all he wanted is to shake this beansprout hard enough to bring back common sense. His instincts said, if he let this continues on, nothing good will happen. So he unsheathes his sword and activate his innocence.  
“Killing you right now will be a mercy to your pitiful state.” Kanda said. “If you couldn’t even get yourself up, then you would be nothing but a burden. I wonder if you would really let, Lenalee and others see you like this?”  
With that Kanda began to attack beansprout with all his might. Even when the wounds he inflicted on moyashi appears in his body, he forge on forward.

Allen wasn't surprised when Kanda said that the would kill him. He wasn't surprised because he knew that one day this would be inevitable. So it's better know then never. "Even though I care about them, I would not care about their opinions on this. I only care about yours".   
When he saw Kanda coming towards him with the sword Allen still didn't move. But Crow Clown had other ideas. He couldn't let his owner die. So he activated itself and wrapped the belt around Kanda wrist, the hand that was holding the sword, and he stopped the older boy attack.

When he saw Crown Clown activates and stop him, Kanda growls. No matter what he do, he couldn’t attack the fool.   
Suddenly the beansprout faints. It was no surprise to Kanda who knew that moyashi has a fever and a weak body. Surprisingly, Crown Clown is still activated. So he reigns in his temper and deactivates mugen before sheathing it again in his scabbard. It would still not let go of him.  
“What do you want?” Kanda asked, irritated.  
He notices that the innocence is looking to the town.  
“Che.” Kanda said in response but immediately complies. Crown Clown deactivates and Kanda walk near to moyashi. The golem who hovers in worry on beansprout, bared his teeth to him in warning.  
However, Kanda didn’t care and immediately carry moyashi to his back. The golem growl at him before stuffing itself to moyashi’s clothes.  
Arriving to the town, he attracts a lot of attention with his wounded appearance and his weak companion. He immediately goes to the nearest inn.  
‘Bear Mellow.’  
Arriving inside, he glares at the woman who seems to manage the inn. He demands a room with two beds and a doctor. When he was given the key, he walk into the room and set the moyashi into the nearest bed. He then goes to the bathroom to take a shower. Wiping off the dirt from his body, he notice that all his wounds have already closed. He then dries off his body and wears his clothes. Then he left moyashi to find a telephone.   
He mets up with the woman downstairs and ask her where is the telephone.   
He was directed into a nearby telephone.  
Connecting his golem to the telephone, he calls to the HQ.  
Ring ring....  
“Hello~” Hearing that idiotic voice, Kanda knew it was Komui.   
“Reporting in, this is Kanda.” He states in.   
Immediately the supervisor become serious.   
“Report to me what happen.” The Supervisor orders him.  
After recounting in what happened, Komui sigh heavily.  
“Unfortunately, we cannot send anyone to you. The train you boarded in was destroyed, and your companions stays in another town, a week away from you if they uses carriages.” Komui explains. “As for Allen-kun, please nurse him back there. As soon as you came back here, I will think of a way to cure you about the curse the akuma left to you.”  
Kanda grunts in agreement.  
“Then be careful Kanda.” Komui then turns cheerfully. “Goodbye~”  
After that exhausting phone call, he sees the doctor and the woman in the inn. He nods at them and beckons them to follow him into the room.

When Allen opened his eyes he found himself in a Inn room. The younger boy tried to remember what happened and how he arrived here. His eyes widened when he remembered everything. The 14th and Kanda outburst.   
"But how that I'm alive? "Allen thought. He expected for the older boy to kill him without hesitantion but apparently he wasn't dead. Even though he wished he was. Because of the whole Noah thing is body was even weak and aching. But he could feel that the Noah was being hold back by his innocence. "Thank you Crown Clown", Allen wishpered touching his left arm.   
When he heard the door opening he looked towards it to see Kanda followed by a man and woman. But Allen was to tired to even care who they are. And after he made sure that they aren't Akuma, Allen closed his eyes back and slipped back into unconsciousness.

“His fever is high.” The doctor said after examining moyashi. “He will need to rest for a few days and he needs to drink this medicine.”  
The doctor then gave the prescription to Kanda. Kanda grunts and take the prescription. After paying the doctor, he ask the woman if there is any food here.   
The woman nodded. So Kanda instructed to bring some food in the room. Kanda then left to buy some medicine. When he goes back to the inn, he immediately look at the medicine and the sleeping moyashi.  
Thankfully, the woman comes in. He ask the woman to feed moyashi the medicine. After that he goes to the bed and fell asleep.

Allen feel his body shaked by someone. He opened his eyes to see the same woman that she entered with Kanda and a man. Allen observed that the woman was in her early forty and she looks like a kind and mother like woman.   
"Hey deary, your friend here is tired and he asked me to gave you some medicine. "  
Allen nodded and let the woman feed him the medicine. When she asked if he was hungry, Allen shook his head with a small smile." No. Thank you for the help. "  
The woman smiled at him and left the room. Allen looked at the bed beside him to see Kanda asleep. His eyes widened when he saw that sleeping Kanda wasn't looking like a cold hearted bastard. Because of the closeness of their beds Allen could only lean a little to brush his fingers through Kanda hair softly.

While sleeping, Kanda have a dream. About a girl, Alma, and his past. Although the dream was short, it was very cruel.   
The girl in his dreams smiled at him. Though he can’t see her face, he saw her body dyed red from blood.   
Then she whispers lovingly to him, “Beloved....”   
He could feel his body shaking, unable to believe that this is happening. The next thing he knew, the one he is holding next is Alma. The boy he killed on his past.  
“Kanda... Kanda....” The boy mutters to him deliriously.   
Somehow, Kanda can see. He sees it. The resemblance.  
Then he woke up in cold sweat. He sees someone brushing his hair. In shock, he didn’t even manage to react. He just look at moyashi, his eyes is lost.

Allen eyes widened when he could see Kanda moving in his bed and murmuring words that he couldn't understand. He raised from his bed and moved to his Kanda's, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. He stroked Kanda hair, trying to calm him down and his nightmare. When it didn't work he shook Kanda by the shoulder with his free hand.   
"Kanda. Woke up ".   
When he opened his eyes he saw that they were different than normal. More lost." Are you ok? "he asked as he brushed the hair that was stuck on Kanda face and forehead.

Kanda look at beansprout and he then look at the room they were in. The fool is fussing over him. The fool he hates. The fool he tried to kill earlier. The fool who looks gently at him.  
Like her.  
Like Alma.  
Suddenly, he really feels angry. Angry at the Millenium Earl, his bands of Noahs, and his minions of akuma.  
Angry at the Order, who dares to resurrect him and Alma.  
Angry at Mugen, of why of all people, this sword just have to choose him.  
Angry at Moyashi, who looks at him like that.   
He is angry at himself, of her, of Alma and of their shared past.  
He didn’t even managed to do his goal. After all in the first place, how could he met her if she is dead.  
Suddenly, he laughs out loud. Really broken and lost.   
He don’t know what to do.  
Why is he still alive?  
He has no purpose anymore.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Allen eyes widened at Kanda action and he almost baked away from the bed because of it. Normally he wouldn't have any problems with Kanda laughing, even though it would be strange. But his laugh isn't a happy one. Is a broken and lost laugh, close to a sob.   
Allen removed his hand from the older boy hair and he grabbed his shoulders, pulling Kanda up and in his arms, wrapping his arms around his waist tightly, not wanting to let go.

Kanda continues to laugh even when he feels someone hugs him. Even when he feels the fat, disgusting tears rolling down his cheeks. He ignore everything.   
He repeated the words inside his head.  
Why is he still alive?  
He is an artificial human, capable of regeneration.   
He is an exorcist, capable of slaying deadly akumas and manage to kill a Noah.  
What should he do now?  
The laugh died out but his tears never stops rolling.

Allen eyes widened when he felt wetness on his shoulder and he immediately realized that was crying. That was really unexpected. Kanda was a human being but he never thought that he would cry and let go of his emotions in front of him. He tightened his arms around his waist and moved one of his hands to rub gently at his back, wishepring shootingly words. "Shh Shh. It's ok. It's ok."

Time passes.  
Slowly, awareness come to his mind. Kanda began to rationalise everything in his mind. Because he vent his emotions today, he especially felt calm.  
He felt really hurt, more than any wounds he had suffered before. He still felt lost and confused. But Kanda is the type to move even when he wasn’t supposed to do.   
So he grits his teeth and decides that for now, he will live.   
Later, he would think again of what to do with his remaining life span.  
When he moves his body, he felt someone on top of him.   
His eyes widen when he saw Moyashi sleeping on top of him.  
Somehow, he felt slightly warm, that someone is there for him even in his weakest time. Somehow also he felt awkward as well. He doesn’t know what to do. So he decided to let it be and stay still.

After Kanda calmed down slightly, Allen could feel his eyes growing heavy because of the pills but he doesn't have more energy to move back in his bed and he closed his eyes and falled asleep on Kanda, hoping that the older would not kill him when he woke up.   
Later when he felt movement, he tightened his hold on Kanda and burrowed his face in his shoulder, sleep talking. "I would never leave you alone. I would always be here for you."After that he was quite.

Kanda felt surprised at what he heard. For a moment, he really don’t know what to do. But then he felt Moyashi’s temperature and remembers that currently Moyashi has a fever.  
So he taps to Moyashi. Avoiding looking at his face, he said, “You still have a fever. Go to your bed. I’ll prepare your medicine.”

Allen groaned as he felt the tap on his face but he didn't woke up. Not completely, at least. He was still wants to be beside Kanda, if the older would have another nightmare. So Allen only tightened his arms and spoke half asleep. No. Inn owner gave me the medicine when you were asleep. Kind woman. She's mother like. "

Kanda suddenly felt irritated. This moyashi is not obedient. Not only that he has a perfect excuse as well. The woman who fed moyashi with medicine is also a problem. Then he heard moyashi’s belly growl in hunger.  
He couldn’t stop his chuckles from coming out.

Allen didn't react as he felt his stomach growled. He knew that he didn't ate from the time he left in the mission, but he wasn't about to eat now either. Because he feels like he would throw up if he ate. But he reacted when he heard him chuckle. He lifted his head and blinked a couple of times before smiling. "You should laugh more. It's beautiful."


	7. Chapter 7

Kanda immediately stops laughing and blinks at Moyashi. He sees the silver eyes looks at him again with the same look as her. Somehow, he felt warm, and he knows that his ears are red. To make sure that Moyashi does not notice, he brings Moyashi to his chest and carefully maneuver him, so that Kanda could carry him. He brings Moyashi to the other bed, where his golem and Moyashi’s golem is somehow together.  
Bringing him down to the bed, Kanda decided to buy some food for the both of them.   
He looks at Moyashi and said, “I’ll be going out to buy some foods and medicine. I’ll also bring some water, so you can wipe out the sweat.”

Allen blushed slightly as Kanda maneuvered him carefully from his bed to his own but cringed slightly at the mention of food. After Kanda he returned with water in a bowl and a washcloth he grabbed his wrist before he could leave after food. "You can take food only for you. I don't want to eat".   
After he said that words he let go of Kanda and took the cloth from the bowl and wiped his face and forehead of sweat.

Kanda frowned. Moyashi, the one who could eat a buffet in no time is actually resisting to eat food for the second time. Thinking about it, Kanda knew something is wrong. Parasitic type innocence user needs lot of energy, and currently with Moyashi’s fever, he should be gorging himself with food. But right now he has no appetite.  
Looking at the food he bought, he saw a soup. He got them from the woman in the inn. Apparently, according to her warm soup is good for sick person.  
Grabbing the soup, Kanda spoon out a mouthful of it and awkwardly serve Moyashi with it.   
“Eat.” He said firmly.

Allen was surprised by Kanda action, not believing that the stoic and cold hearted Yu Kanda would spoon feed him. But even though he was grateful for this he still couldn't eat. Even though that he needs a lot of food or else his innocence would start to feed for himself. "I told you that I don't want to eat. Only the food smell is making me nauseated. If I would eat I believe that I would literally throw up. And I don't like it."

Kanda frowned at what Moyashi said. If that was true, then how would they proceed? Kanda doubts that Moyashi would recover without eating and right now they couldn’t even call for Hq, because they would arrive a week later. Thinking about it, maybe instead of food, Moyashi could stomach juice. Fruit Juice, could probably help Moyashi. So Kanda asked Moyashi about it.

Allen was glad that Kanda didn't insisted with him eating the soup, even though his stomach was growling in hunger. And he knows that most of this is because of the innocence. Allen knew that most of the food he ate it turn into fuel for his innocence and that's why he can ate so much and remain thin.   
At Kanda next question Allen groaned and covered his face. It's seems that he really doesn't gave up on feeding him. "I don't know. Maybe fruit juice wouldn't make me throw up."

When Kanda heard Moyashi groans, he knows that maybe the juice won’t help. However, being hungry with this type of innocence won’t help Moyashi either. So he goes out to buy a bottle of fresh juice. As he goes back to the inn, he felt like he change a little. Or maybe too much. Somehow, he realise that maybe he is acting a bit too considerate too Moyashi. However, at the same time, he knew he wouldn’t stop for the moment. He owes Moyashi a debt right now. So the only thing to do is to pay it back. With a renew sense of purpose, he goes back to the inn, and give Moyashi the bottle of juice.

Allen was almost asleep by the time Kanda returned with the juice and he groaned. He really doesn't want to put anything in his stomach, but a part of him was telling him that if he would not do it, he would either be force eating or he would regret it later, more than now. So the younger boy sat up and took the bottle for Kanda. "Thanks", he said before drinking a little bit. When he saw that nothing happened he drank more. When he drank half of the bottle his stomach started to churm. He threw the bottle away and he rushed as fast as he could to the bathroom where he threw up.

Though Kanda prepares for it, he is still surprised to see Moyashi throw the juice away and run to the bathroom to throw up. Snapping out of the daze, he immediately go to the bathroom where he sees Moyashi throwing up.  
He strangely feel guilty, so he helps the beansprout to wash up on the sink. Then he helps beansprout to lie down in the bed.  
When he saw Moyashi fell asleep, he also heaves a sigh. Maybe he should call for a doctor later but for now, he has to eat food though he has little appetite when that happens. As for the mess in the bathroom, it would be clean later.

Back in the bedroom and in his bed Allen falled asleep back, even though it's was more hard and he slept very little than the last time. Only for half of hour. Allen was greatfuly for Kanda helping him when he is sick but he wished he wasn't sick. Not only that he has fever and he can't ate anything but he started to shiver and breath heavily as well. Allen grabbed the blanket to cover himself more and as if feeling it's owner discomfort Crown Clown activated and wrapped the little boy in the cloak like a safety blanket.

When he saw Moyashi shivering and Crown Clown activated, he tried to think of a few ideas to help him. Right now, an activated innocence wouldn’t be good for Moyashi. So he ask the woman for some blankets. Stepping into the room he ask a half-asleep Moyashi to deactivates his innocence. Then he helps Moyashi with the blankets.  
Night is already approaching. So he also fell asleep soon.

Crown Clown deactivated immediately as Allen was covered with more blankets that were generating more heat. Even so he wasn't shivering Allen still couldn't sleep. So after Kanda falled asleep, he turned towards the other bed to face Kanda. "If I can't sleep might as well keep an eye on him", Allen thought as he watched Kanda sleeping figure and he hoped that this time his sleep would be nightmare free.

Kanda felt a little uncomfortable when he felt eyes upon himself. When he open his eyes, he sees Moyashi looking at him with a determined eyes. Kanda look confused on why he do so. Just as he was about to ask Moyashi, why, he suddenly saw something from the window.  
A cat to be exact, gnawing to the golem. Knowing that this would trouble them later on, Kanda picks a fruit knife from the plate earlier and scares the cat away from the golems. Then he look at Moyashi to ask him.  
“Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Allen looked at Kanda action and he almost scremed at him to not hurt the cat, when he saw the said cat run away. He sighed as he heard Kanda question. "I can't sleep. No matter how much I try. So as I saw you going to sleep I decided to keep an eye on you in case you have another nightmare."


	8. Chapter 8

Kanda thought about it. Earlier, Moyashi slept fine when he was with him. But now that Moyashi has trouble sleeping. But sleeping together, no matter how you thought it just too close for Kanda to follow through. So maybe an alternative. A presence would work fine wouldn’t it?  
So he said to Moyashi, “Let’s switch up beds. Maybe you will fall asleep better.”

Allen nodded at Kanda proposal and moved in his bed with all the blankets and watched as Kanda did the same. So the younger layed in the bed facing the window. But when he closed his eyes and stayed like this for a few minutes nothing happened. So he changed his position and did the same. Still nothing. So the younger boy have up and just opened his eyes.  
"I still can't fall asleep. Just go to sleep. I might fall asleep later. "

Kanda couldn't help but frown. So it seems that Moyashi couldn't sleeping tonight. Not even switching beds would work. So Kanda thought hard about it. Sleeping is not the only way to rest. Meditation could help too. Unlike sleeping, this one might help the beansprout further. It helps lightens and freshen up the mind of a person. So he turns to look at Moyashi.  
"Moyashi!" Kanda said. "Instead of sleeping, I'll teach you how to meditate."

"I'm not a Moyashi ", Allen muttered with his eyes closed even though he wasn't able to sleep. But he opened his eyes when he heard Kanda next words." Meditate? "Allen have heard the word before and knew what is meaning. But " Aren't you supposed sleep instead of teach me doing this? "

"It doesn't matter if it is meditation or sleeping." Kanda said. "To me, both of them are equivalent to resting."  
Kanda rolled out from the bed. "Besides, if you are not sleeping, you better do something productive than lazing in the bed." Kanda said, before he throws a glare to Moyashi. "Or would you rather spar with me?"

"I'm doing something productive. I'm watching after you in case you have another nightmare ". Allen said with a warm smile that turned into a terrified one at the mention of sparing with him. In his condition the older boy would definitely kill him from one move." Nope. Meditation sounds good ", Allen said as he got up from the bed immediately forgetting about his weak body.

Seeing the beansprout happily standing up from with a burst of energy, Kanda actually worried if Moyashi could actually meditate in this case. After all, meditation needs calm and patience. At the same time, he was also relieved that beansprout still have energy to be this eager. Instead of worrying over Moyashi, he threw a smirk to him.  
"Don't be too embarassed if somehow you fall asleep in the middle of meditation, old man!" Kanda taunted.

"Who are you making old man you girly boy. I'm younger than you despite my hair ", Allen said as he stuck his tongue childishly at Kanda after he avoided an object throwed at his head. Allen walked beside Kanda and took a seat beside him. He looked closer at the older boy and he began to imitate him. He couldn't lie it's was very hard. He couldn't make his mind empty as many things were going through his head. He vowed that if he would not succeed in meditate after half an hour, he would gave up. This wasn't his thing anyway.

Seeing that beansprout copying him, Kanda finally stops worrying. All he needs to do is to let Moyashi clear the clutter in his mind. For that, Kanda would instruct him like he did with Lenalee before. As long as the beansprout relaxes, Moyashi would either enter a meditative state or fall asleep. Either way would be fine Kanda. After all, the goal is to make this beansprout rest fully.  
With a calm and steady voice, he starts to teach Moyashi how to meditate.

Allen almost wanted to open his eyes and look at Kanda with an surprised and shocked face as heard him talk so calm. He never heard the older boy talk like this. Or act like this anyway. Allen shock his head and decided to focus on Kanda words and do what he says. So he took a deep breath and began to breathe more calmy and softly as he tried to not think at absolutely anything. Something that was very hard. After minutes of trying and almost giving up Allen managed to not think at anything and to empty his mind and he smiled slightly as he could feel him peaceful.

An hour pass. Kanda didn't expect for Moyashi to fall into a meditative state. Yes, Kanda had taught the beansprout how to meditate but at best he only expected for Moyashi to fall asleep. Especially, as of right now, not only the beansprout's life is in a mess, the idiot also managed to get sick. Truly a stubborn fool. Ah, but that's what truly what made Kanda respect him before, even if reluctantly. The beansprout after all holds to his ideals and principles like how a man holds his treasures. Seeing that Moyashi is resting and relaxing, Kanda also decided to fall into a light meditative state. Unseen by anyone but the golems, Kanda's lips turn slightly up.

Allen was broken from his meditative state when his mind was attacked by the 14th forces. Thankfully because he was more relaxed and more calm, he managed to hold him back. He opened his eyes and looked towards Kanda who was unperturbed. He smiled softly and he raised from the ground and covered the older boy with a blanket before he walked in the bathroom to take a shower.

Because it is only a light meditative state, Kanda soon become aware that Moyashi was gone. Before he could panic, he heard the shower on the bathroom. Calming down, he notice that a blanket covers him. Kanda touches the blanket and his eyes soften. He, then folded the blanket back.  
Instead of forcing himself to a meditative state again, Kanda start doing stretching exercises. While his body has long been accustomed to staying still, it is imperative to do light stretches after meditation to improve his blood circulation. While doing this, he decided to later scold Moyashi for showering without stretching first.  
Checking sky outside, it seems that sunrise would be coming soon.

Allen sighed as the hot water shooted his muscles and nevers. He knew that with his fever, he shouldn't take a hot shower, but he was already shivering when he stripped of his clothes and he didn't wanted to be more cold than he was already. After ten minutes of showering he dried himself and wrapped a towel around his waist. He didn't bothered to take clothes in the bathroom because he knew that Kanda wouldn't see him because he was meditating. But apparently he was wrong. As he walked back in the bedroom, he blushed red as a tomato when he saw Kanda not meditating anymore but looking at the sky.

While Kanda is looking up to the sky, he began to think on what to do today. If he is correct, there are still 5 days before the order would fetch them. Since they have finished the mission early, they naturally have free time. Since Moyashi is sick, they are also limited to what they could do. Then he heard the bathroom shower stop and the door opens. Thinking that maybe the beansprout would have some ideas, he turn around to see him.  
He didn't expect to see Moyashi naked with only a small towel to cover the nether regions.  
"This!!...." Kanda uttered, totally surprised. He look away angrily, blush covering his pale face.  
"Indecent!!!" Kanda says finally before leaving the room with haste.

Allen shooked his head to get rid of the blush as he heard Kanda words and watched as the older boy left the room. "Why is indecent? We are both boys", he said fishing for his clothes from his luggage. After he got dressed he climbed in the bed and sighed. His stomach growled again and despite feeling slightly better he didn't wanted to try and eat something. Deciding on going to take a walk outside for fresh air, Allen got up from the bed and slipped a coat on himself. He opened the door to see Kanda beside it. "You can go back in the room. I'm going out to for a small walk. Hopefully the fresh air would help me."

Kanda was trying to calm himself down. 'Aren't english people supposed to be conservative?' Kanda thought to himself. What he didn't expect is for him to overreact seeing the beansprout nearly naked.  
Just as he was about to calm down, Moyashi open the door to go for a walk. Kanda felt his previously calm mind to be thrown in panic. His mind turn muddle and he become stoic. He let Moyashi goes outside.  
Kanda goes into the room, his mind full of confusion. He uses his time there to sort out his thoughts and feelings.


	9. Chapter 9

Walking through the town,Allen was mesmerized by the beauty of town. And was glad that no many people were on the streets, as it's wasn't fully morning yet, because it's was more quiet like this. Soon at some point Allen could feel someone covering his mouth and dragging him into a empty alley. With the corner of his eyes he could see Timcanpy flying away from his jacket. Allen looked to see two men smiling sickening sweet at him.   
"Who are you? "he asked and as his left eye didn't activate he figured that they were only humans.   
" You don't know us. But we do know you. Your master own us a lot of money. And he didn't pay yet, we decided to use you as a payment. "  
Allen could feel his innocence trying to activate but Allen pushed it away remember it that they were only normal humans.   
When he tried to run the other one grabbed him and pushed him into a wall. Tears streamed down the boy face as the man kissed him forcefully and roughly.  
Timcanpy smashed himself hard against the men heads. Not enough to get them unconscious but enough to gave Allen some time to run back to the Inn with shaking body and teary face.

Kanda was thinking. In the end, he didn't come into conclusion. As someone whose second life is used to fighting and finding, Kanda didn't learn much about other emotions or feelings like love. All he focus on is his anger, sadness, and longing. That said, he did realize something. He is attracted to Moyashi.  
Not enough that Kanda have already fallen in love but there was something there. For some reason, he keeps feeling that he becomes far more softer to Moyashi than before.  
Shaking his head to clear it up, he froze up when he sees the beansprout with a teary face. He already grab the fool to his chest before he knows it. He is angry right now but seeing Moyashi in this state, he decided to prioritize this person in front of him first.  
When he sees Moyashi calming down, with a steady voice he ask.  
"What happened to you?"

Allen wasn't surprised when he was brought to Kanda chest once he entered in the room. He was shocked about all the events that happened. So he wrapped his arms around his waist and burrowed his face in his chest as cried. For how long? He didn't know. After he calmed down slightly and Kanda asked him what happened he answered without looking at the older boy. "Minutes later after I was walking through the town I was catched by two men that said that my master owned them money. As he hadn't paid them, they said that they used me as payment. I tried to run but my body was still to weak and I was catched immediately. Then one of them kissed me forcefully but Tim saved me ".   
And after he said the story, the stress and shook that suffered it combined with the fever and made Allen pass out.

Kanda immediately want to hunt after the bastards who made Moyashi like this. At the same time, he also become more worried about the beansprout. Those damn people and their lecherous way! Why do they have to appear, when just now Moyashi is weak?! And that bastard general! If it wasn't for that alcoholic bastard, this wouldn't have happened!  
Kanda eyes become more and more murderous each second. His face showing anger. Thankfully, he still have a string of rationality remaining. Instead of going after those men, he brought Moyashi to the bed. Then he call for the doctor. When the doctor arrived, they began the examination.  
"The reason why he pass out is because of the accumulative stress and fever." The doctor said. "For now I suggest that he should rest for a minimum of 3 days. I'll prescribe a new medicine for him."  
Kanda grunts in agreement.  
"Also, I notice that he seems to be weakening faster." The doctor said. "I suggest that you take care of him better. He is very fragile now. If not .... well I hope it won't come to that!"  
Kanda simply glare at the doctor.   
"He won't die." He stated simply.  
After the doctor was gone, Kanda also left Moyashi. He gave clear instruction to the innkeeper about feeding the beansprout with medicine. Then he was gone, hunting.

Allen opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times as he looked at the ceiling, trying to process what happened and how he was in bed, when the last thing he remembered was going out for a walk. Seconds later the early events exploded in his mind like a fireworks as he remembered what happened. A couple of tears falled on his cheeks as he raised in sitting position slowly and looked through the room. "He's gone. Of course he left. I could not blame him", Allen muttered as he saw that Kanda wasn't in the room.   
He took the pills and water, from the nightstand he spotted and drank them immediately. After that he layed back in the bed, knowing that he couldn't go anywhere yet and he looked outside of the window.

Kanda quickly hunt down the men who dares to touch Moyashi. In two hours, he manage to gather information and attack the base of the men. Though he didn't kill them, he made sure to humiliate them. He beat all of them into pulp. Then he ask all of them which attacks Moyashi.   
The men quickly push out the guilty ones. Without mercy, Kanda knock them out and disappear with them.   
In Kanda's mind, since these people are guilty, it should be Moyashi who would deal with them.

  
Allen was lost in thought as he watched outside the window from is bed. Thinking if Kanda would come back to him or he just left him after he found out that he was so weak that he couldn't protect himself against mere humans.   
The thought of Kanda leaving him here by himself, brought new tears in the younger boy eyes. Maybe Kanda doesn't feel the same way, but Allen really loves the grumpy samurai. He started to love him and fall in love with him after their mission in Matel. Though he didn't said anything, neither to his friends because he knew that it's was pointless and that Kanda would never feel the same way.

"Che." Kanda internally cursed inside his heart. Everything was going fine. He humiliated those men. He captured the people who hurt Moyashi. So why is it that there is another obstacle?!!!  
"NO! You can't bring them up!" The innkeeper said sternly.  
Earlier, he came in to the inn. Apparently, one of the women who saw scream in fear and fainted. Now this innkeeper is scolding him.  
Ignoring the innkeeper, he strode forward to the room where he and Moyashi is currently booking in.  
He ignored the indignant yelp coming from the woman and tried to keep his irritation from lashing out when some men tried to grab him and drag him away.  
With his hands full, he kick the door that separates him and Moyashi.  
There he sees Moyashi crying.


	10. Chapter 10

Allen turned around when he heard the door opening and Allen hoped that Kanda returned. But as he looked towards the door he yelped and backed away until he falled from the bed on the floor. Yes, Kanda returned but he brought the men with him and they were beaten. But why would Kanda do something like this. Why he brought them here. Not caring that he acts even more weak then he already did, he curled up on the floor and burrowed his face in his knees to not see anything.

“Oi Moyashi!” Kanda calls out the beansprout. Kanda frowns when he sees the beansprout curled up in the ground. At first he thought that the beansprout seems to be afraid of the men he brought. However he observes that it was not the reason. Instead, it seems the beansprout is trying to hide.  
Kanda couldn’t help but snort in amusement.

Allen didn't moved from his place as he heard Kanda voice or snort. He doesn't want to see the men. Only a little glimpse of them he would bring back bad memories. And Allen was fearing for another thing. Kanda beat up the men. And even though they what they did, they still are normal humans. And Allen was afraid of Kanda safety as well. So he reminded there as well, unmoving with tears on his face.

Kanda frowns. Why is it that Moyashi is still curling down in the floor. Before he could react, a mob of people attacks him.  
“This is the man.”  
“This was him.”  
Many of the people said.  
Then a piercing sound just shoot.  
“Calm down everyone.” An officer appear. He seems to be a sheriff.  
“As the police in this town, we would like you to come with us and tell us what happened.”  
Kanda rolled his eyes. He get hold of the men he brought and throw it to the officer.  
“Get lost.” Kanda said coldly.  
The officer break a sweat. Still, he tried to talk back.  
However, before the officer could even speak, a terrifying glare is already aimed at his way. With a whimper, the sheriff run away with tail tuck between his legs. The mob soon follows.  
“Che.” Kanda said in disdain. Right now Moyashi needs him now more than the revenge.  
So he close the door. He picks up Moyashi and place him into the bed gently. Then he sat down nearby to Moyashi. He waits and waits until the beansprout broke out from his shell.

Allen could hear multiple voice but he didn't gave them importance and neither focused to hear what they were saying. When after sometimes was quite, he could feel himself being picked up, and flinched slightly, and he was put on something soft.   
Minutes later he uncurled and looked with red eyes beside him to see Kanda waiting patiently beside him. He bited his lower lip before he wrapped his arms around Kanda waist, slowly and a little hesitantly, waiting for him to be pushed away by the Japanese boy. "Why did you attacked that people?" he asked slowly.

Kanda also ask that to himself. Even he knows that he shouldn't be like this. Kanda knows that he doesn't like anyone. Not even Alma is exempted from that. Even when he was with Lenalee, all he feels is discomfort. Friends? Family? To him they all mean nothing.  
However, that doesn't mean he doesn't care. Kindness is a rarity in this world. To all people who gives him kindness, he repays it. If he sees someone who is fool but kindhearted, he couldn't help but try to protect it, even if just a little.  
People like them deserves to be protected.  
And of all people he met, Allen Walker is one of them. However that Moyashi could clearly protect himself. Every time that fool is nearly dead, the beansprout still manage to move forward, unwavering and very kind.  
From the very start, Kanda knew that Allen wouldn't stop from being kind, from moving forward. So all Kanda could do is push Allen. To become stronger. And though he tried to avoid it, Kanda couldn't still help but admire the man like others.  
However, this past few days, everything changes. The kindness from Allen is still in there. But at the same time he is very weak. This Allen becomes very fragile. However, even when this fragile person is weak, even when Kanda is pushing Allen away, he still granted Kanda kindness.   
So when he sees Allen collapse, when he sees him cries, when he thought how horrible Allen must have felt, all he feel is anger. After all, who wouldn't feel anger when the person whom he long admires and now is beginning to love. So Kanda knew the answer. The reason why he beat up those men is because....  
"I care...." Kanda said quietly. "I care about you, Allen."

Allen remained quite all the time waiting for an answer from Kanda. He didn't move and neither spoke. A part of him was afraid that he would push him away from himself and yell at him, because he was weak and he had to do his job instead of him. Even though Allen wouldn't hurt normal human. No matter how evil they are. When he heard the words from Kanda mouth, he was completely shocked.   
"Are you saying this for real? "he asked full of hope

Kanda look at Allen, straight into the eyes. His black eyes full of gentle warmth. When he heard the question, his heart couldn't help but squeezed in pain. The Allen he sees now is the Allen at it's most vulnerable. So in return, Kanda caress Allen's cheeks. He get nearer and nearer to Allen.   
Kanda has only one thing to do. Since Allen has trusted him, he couldn't afford not to reciprocate.  
He let his face relax and his let his emotions bleed. He encircles his arms around Allen gently and he looks at Allen with sincerity.  
Then he smiles and whispers to Allen, "Yes"

Allen was surprised when he felt the gentle caress on his cheeks made by Kanda hand. The older boy had acted gently with him this days but now that was another kind of gentle. When he saw Kanda smile and heard his words the younger boy couldn't help but smile as well. "You don't know how happy I'm to hear you say this words. Because I care about you a lot and I..", Allen was slightly hesitant to say it but he needs to do it. "I also love you. A lot."

Kanda's eyes widen in shock when he heard that came out from Allen's mouth. Those sweet, sweet words. An insurmountable emotions surge from his heart. Even if he tried to stop it, he can't. Even if he had the ability to do so, he won't. Because right now, all he feels is his heart beating faster even more, warmth, joy, and happiness blending in together.   
He holds Allen gently and tightly. He holds him passionately and slowly he kiss Allen chastely. He pours all his emotions into that one kiss. He kiss back with the intent to convey, 'I love you too.'

 


	11. Chapter 11

Allen eyes widened when he Kanda kissed him. He never expected for the older boy to do something like this when a few days ago he tried to kill him. And in the past as well. And even though the earlier events were still fresh in his mind, he didn't pushed Kanda away. Because he could feel that the older boy is loving him as well. And Allen couldn't be more happier about it. Immediately he kissed the Japanese boy back wit all the love, passion and admiration he could feel for him.

Kanda kisses Allen. From simple chaste kisses, to passionate ones. Each of them filled with his emotions.  
He is very happy. Happy that somehow the person he admires have feelings for him. Happy that Allen could be his. He is happy that he has fallen for Allen.

Allen pulled away from the kiss after a couple of minutes and dropped his head on Kanda shoulder. Despite the recent events playing in his mind, Allen couldn't be more happier that the stoic samurai Yu Kanda is loving him back. His heart was jumping in happiness and and he couldn't contain a chuckle. "You don't know who happier I'm now", he said softly, without moving from the Japanese boy.

Kanda hugs the boy a bit tighter. Somehow that sentence made him want to protect and pamper Allen, so what he does is to cuddle with his moyashi and pet him.  
“I’m happy too.” Kanda said to Allen. “Happy that you’re happy.”

"I'm glad", Allen said as he closed his eyes and cuddled with Kanda, enjoying his scent and touch. Then he remembered something. Something that made him move from Kanda, slightly so he could look at him. "Kanda what if the Order finds out that you attacked normal humans? Then what?" the younger boy asked with worried voice and worried look,afraid for the Japanese boy safety.

Kanda snorts in amusement. The Order has never care what exorcist do. As long as they don’t do major offence like murder and the like, the Order would turn blind eye from most of your affairs. Take example of Cross Marian. Despite his growing debts, the Order tolerate it because he is a general. Beating up people, as long as they are not important, the Order would merely complain but wouldn’t do anything. The most they would do is to make sure that Kanda is a functioning exorcist.  
Besides, Kanda doesn’t care as well. To him, those people he beats up are just plain trash. He nonetheless comfort Moyashi.  
If there will be a problem, Komui would most likely help them.  
“I’ll be fine.” Kanda assures Allen.

Allen nodded thought not very convinced about that. He couldn't shake the bad feeling, that something would happen when they would return to the Order. Even though Allen wants to go back to the Order and be far away from the place where he encountered the men, he was hesitant about it. Feeling tired Allen dropped his head back on Kanda shoulder and closed his eyes. And a couple of minutes later he was out like a light.   
He managed to sleep peacefully for five hours. After that his sweat and beautiful dreams were turned into a nightmare .A nightmare where Allen was killing Kanda. But the difference was that his eyes were golden and skin brown with red from blood. And he was killing the older boy in the most painfully and grotesque way possible.   
Allen woke up from the nightmares with an bloody scream and tears on his cheeks.

Kanda smiles as he sees Allen falls asleep. Looking at his Moyashi peaceful face, he couldn’t help but look more. He didn’t notice that he also fell asleep.   
Time passes.  
Then suddenly, he was woken up awake by a scream.   
Up in a flash, he quickly pinpointed onto what happened. There be sees Allen suffering. Flustered for a moment, Kanda immediately gathers Allen into a hug tightly. When he sees that Allen hasn’t calm down yet, he began to pat Allen’s back. He waits for Allen to come back to reality.

Allen flinched slightly when he brought in the familiar arms of Kanda and he could feel his familiar and comforting touch. But to Allen mind, that was fresh from the nightmare, it's was impossible for Kanda to be here. He was dead he killed him. He tried to free himself from Kanda arms, but his body was weak and the hold was strong. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to die. I didn't mean to kill you."

Kanda felt as if a bucket of cold water wash him. He could now understand what Allen has experienced. A nightmare. What Kanda should do now is to reassure Allen that he is alive and this is real.  
So he looks at Allen straightly.  
“Look at me.” He said to Allen and without hesitation, he continues.“This is reality.”  
To prevent Allen from doubting him, he puts Allen’s head to his chest. “If you think I’m lying, then hear my heart beating.” Then he continues with firmness. “I am alive.”

Allen clenched his eyes as his head was pressed to Kanda chest. And immediately he could hear the Japanese boy shooting heartbeat. The same heartbeat that has lulled him to sleep. He also could feel his arm body and arms and when he opened his eyes for the first time, he saw a glimpse of his beautiful face. The younger boy knew that it's was a nightmare and that this is reality and Kanda was alive and safe. He wrapped his arms around Kanda waist and burrowed his face in his chest. "I'm sorry", he said even though he didn't know for what he was apologizing.

Kanda shook his head in disagreement. He hugs Allen more.   
“Not a problem,” Kanda said firmly. It’s truly not a trouble for him to help Allen. After all, this proves that Allen trust and believe him well enough to take care of the beansprout.  
Then he heard his stomach growls in hunger.  
Kanda blush a bit in embarrassment.

Allen chuckled softly as he heard Kanda stomach growl. And despite his amusement, Allen was worried as well. Kanda took care of him a lot and he forgot to take care of himself as well. Allen raised his head from Kanda chest and touched the older boy cheek lovingly. "You took care of me enough. Take care of yourself as well. Go and eat. Or I would drag you down to the kitchen. Don't underestimate my weak body.

Kanda was warmed that Allen cares for him that much. However, Kanda was much more worried over Allen who haven’t eaten anything else yet. So Kanda thought of a way to make Allen eat as well.  
“I will eat.” Kanda said simply. “As long as you eat with me as well.”

Allen grimaced at the thought of eating. If this situation was different, he would have been amused that him, the boy who eat so much food that can feel almost fill all the persons from the Order, wasn't pleased about eating. But he wants for Kanda to eat something so he sighed defeated.   
"Fine. But if I would need to throw up, I would do it on you ", Allen said without malice in his voice.

“You won’t.” Kanda said. After the last time, Kanda had learn the lesson well. That is to give Allen the smallest serving and make him take time in eating. Allen might have noticed it, but Kanda sees that the speed that Allen does in drinking made Allen’s stomach unable to adapt. So he made a decision   
“I’ll be feeding you.” Kanda said.


	12. Chapter 12

"Wha? I'm not a little kid. I can feed myself as well", Allen said as he moved from Kanda arms and leaned against the headboard with his arms crossed on his chest. Though despite saying that he wasn't a little kid, his attitude was very childishly. Even though that Allen doesn't want for Kanda to treat him like a person who can do a simple thing as feeding by himself. "Plus if you feed me, then how are you going to eat?"

“We’ll eat alternately.” Kanda said not backing down. Right now, Kanda is far more worried about Allen than the appropriateness of his actions. To him, it is better to take care Allen now, as he is worried that Allen might become weaker and eventually disappear.

"Fine. If that's mean that you are going to eat, then I accept", Allen said knowing that Kanda wouldn't gave up and he would continue to pester him about eating. When he saw the worried expression from his face, and also could feel it emanating from himself, he frowned and touched Kanda cheek. "Is something wrong? You seem worried."

Kanda shook his head. Even now, Allen is still thinking about him, when the person he should be worried most right now is himself. Kanda lean closer to Allen and gave a kiss to his forehead. After the kiss, he draws back to look at Allen and began to pet his head.  
"Focus on getting better." Though Kanda didn't smile, And his face didn't move,he shows a tender look through his own eyes.

Allen waited patiently for an answer from Kanda. The older boy isn't the type of person who gets worried easily and he hasn't see that look on his face till now. When Kanda kissed his forehead and began to pet him, Allen blushed slightly and melted in the touch. But is not going to back away so soon. He wants to help Kanda too, as much as the older helped him.   
"But I'm better. Please tell me what's wrong?"

Seeing the stubborn look adorn to Allen, Kanda knew that Allen would pester him until he relents. So he looks straight to Allen. However, Kanda couldn't keep looking straight. Kanda has always been poor in communication. Except for other immediate situations, he couldn't actually truly convey what he means. Now that he is being more intimate to Allen, he becomes straightforward. But making him express his worry to Moyashi is just plain impossible to do when it is not as urgent. Especially when Allen has already have agreed to eat with him. Remembering what he had just suggested earlier, Kanda fought to keep his composure.  
"I just want you to eat." Kanda said, turning his face away to hide his blushing face.

Allen smiled a little and he moved both his hands to Kanda face to cup it and turned his face to look at him. "But I will eat", he said as he brushed his fingers against Kanda blushed face. "Though I would not eat as much as always, I would do it only so you do it as well. I promise".   
Allen looked at Kanda and smiled at him warmly, glad that his old self was coming back little by little.

"Che." Kanda said, embarassed. Before any more embarrassing things might happen, Kanda stood up, making sure to handle Allen with care.  
"I'm going to take a bath." Kanda said, still not looking at Allen, his face tinged with pinkness. He took his things and go to the bathroom to take a shower with haste.

Even though Kanda didn't spared him any glance as he walked in the bathroom, Allen knew that he shouldn't be upset about it as the older boy handled him with care and he also saw his blushing face. Getting tired and stiff to stay all the time in bed, Allen get up from it and walked slowly to the window. He opened it watched outside of it. The day was warm and sunny and he could see many people wondering through the streets and kids playing. As he saw children with their fathers or mothers walking around and laughing, Allen couldn't help but think at him and Mana. He is missing Mana so much and sometimes he wished to be a little kid again. A kid that was in a continue journey with his father. Allen shook his head and decided to focus on the beautiful day until Kanda returns.

Kanda has finished showering. Wearing his clothes, Kanda came out of the bathroom only to see Allen looking outside the window, wistful. Kanda blinks at that. He walks to Allen, to see what he is looking at, but all Kanda sees is the normal citizens of the town. Kanda look at Allen, curious on what could have triggered such a face from Moyashi.  
At the same time, Kanda isn't pleased. That kind of face shouldn't be adorned by Allen. Now that he is here, naturally, he should also make his lover? partner?, happier. So he took Allen's attention with a tap to his face and make a distraction.  
"Will you take a shower?" Kanda ask too solemnly.

Allen was focused on the outside view so he didn't saw or feel Kanda coming back from the bathroom. When he felt a touch on his face he jumped a little surprised and turned around. "Shit. You almost gave me an heart attack", Allen said with a soft laugh, ignoring the fact that he cursed, as he gripped his chest. "Why did you sneak like that behind me? Look my heart stands to explode."   
Allen grabbed Kanda hand and put it on his chest against his fast beating heart.

Kanda snorts in amusement when he saw Allen jumps in surprise. And he let Allen guide his hand. When he feels the heart beating fast, Kanda feel his mood rising up. This under him, means that Allen is alive.  
After a moment, he said to Allen, “We’ll eat after you shower.”

"I'm no need to shower yet", Allen said as he continued to hold Kanda hand against his chest. His hold wasn't tight and the older boy can remove his hand wherever he wants. "And I was thinking to go back to the Order after we ate."   
Despite that the town brought him and Kanda together, something that he would be enternaly greatful, the town also brought him pain. And he wants to leave as soon as possible and forget about it.

“Fine.” Kanda said after thinking about it for a moment. Allen should be better after eating later. The sooner they get to the Order, the better it will be. If they dally here, who knows what might happen later. They only need to contact Komui about this.  
“Let’s go.” Kanda then grabs Allen hand and lead him into a meal.

Allen nodded obedient and followed Kanda slowly from the bedroom towards the kitchen. Though Allen couldn't help but worry that once they return to the Order, Kanda would be in trouble because he attacked normal humans. He may not be there for a long while but he knew that the Order and Higher Ups always found about every bad thing the Exorcists did. And they punish them.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Kanda lead Allen into a nearby restaurant. Though Kanda could feel that Allen is worried about something, Kanda assumes it was about the meal. So he never let go of Allen while on the way to the restaurant. When Kanda saw a restaurant that has noodles as a menu, he enters there with Allen. There Kanda demand a private booth and orders noodles and tea. Then he also ask Allen what he would like to eat.  
“Just order something you think you can handle.” Kanda said. “And don’t think you could escape from being spoon fed.”

Allen blushed slightly in embrasment as he heard Kanda words and he could see by the corner of his eyes that the waitress was looking slightly surprised at Kanda statement. "Soup. Just soup. Doesn't matter with what."   
After the waitress left Allen looked around the restaurant to see that it's wasn't empty. A couple of people were there as well. "Just great. It's gonna be so embarrassing", Allen thought as he covered his blushing face with his hands.

Kanda also blushed as well. Now that he think clearly about it, this is clearly embarrassing. However, Kanda wouldn’t stop now. This is for Allen.   
In the deepest corner of his mind, he felt himself break a little because some actual part of him is excited for this. After all, this opportunity might not happen in the future.  
Now that they have finished ordering, they only have to wait for the food. Because of what he said earlier, he felt awkward.  
Time passes, there is a strange mix of anticipation and embarrassment as he and Allen waits for the food.

Allen sighed and brushed his hands against his face before lifting his head up and looked at the older boy not with a glare but a soft look before speaking. "When we return to the Order, are we going to tell the others about our relationship? Or keep it secret?"   
Allen knew that their friends wouldn't judge them and they would be happy about it. And he would definitely not listen to the one who are speaking bad about them. But there is a person that is definitely hesitant to tell him about his relationship.

Kanda have also thought about it. Their relationship is new and just now settling. And Kanda knew that if the Order did know that the two of them are together, mixed reactions would surely arise. From those idiotic close friends of Allen's, they would naturally accept, even tease the both of them. However, most of the Order would probably disdain them. Not only Kanda have fallen in love with a boy, which is treated as a taboo and an illness, he will also be implicated to have fallen for an enemy noah. There would be no doubt that the will face scorn, disgust, and prejudice from people. The worst scenario is that they would be killed. What more is that this relationship might also put them in danger. After all the Central and the Earl could use this relationship for their own schemes.  
Despite all of those reasoning, Kanda isn't completely willing to hide his relationship with Allen. Kanda isn't the type of person who would rather hide in the shadows. He would rather face it head-on all the objection of those people. However, not only it is him this time, Allen is also with him with this. In the end, exposing their relationship would be detrimental for them.   
But looking at Allen, he knows that Moyashi would like to be open in people and Kanda..... Kanda is also the same. So he make a compromise.  
Thinking about it, their relationship should stay a secret except for a few people. That way, they could be open and safe at the same time. The only one who should know, are the people whom they trust and matters to them. Besides, among the exorcist, it would be pretty hard to hide this relationship. Revealing this secret to them, those people would definitely help them hide it.  
"We'll keep it a secret. It's not safe for you." Kanda said. "Only people who can keep a secret and matters to you will be the exception. Among them, it should be Komui who should first know. That way we could always be together in our mission."

Allen was waiting patiently for an answer and he could feel different emotion playing on Kanda face as he thought about it. But most of them where fear and concern. Kanda have nothing to fear but to worry. Well that's another subject because he knew that except their friends not many would accept their relationship. "Well we can definitely tell Komui and the rest of science division. As well as Lenalee and Lavi. And believe me despite his attitude Lavi could keep a secret. You can tell Marie and Tiedoll. But I would definitely not tell Cross about it. The man may be an asshole most of the time but believe it or not he took care of me and care for me. And if I tell him and you do something wrong, he would not hesitate to shoot you. And I prefer to keep you whole and safe. But why I don't understand is why you said that it's not safe for me."

"Tell Cross." Kanda said. "If he is that important to you, and you are that important to him, it is only right that you would tell him. Not telling him is a betrayal I know you will regret."  
Kanda then stop for a moment to gather his thoughts.  
"Right now, you are in a capricious position." Kanda said. "This relationship might just put the Central into taking advantage over you for their own plans. To probably kill you. Because right now, they think you are a noah."

Allen didn't need Kanda to tell him about it. He knew himself that the Central is suspecting him, thinking that he's a Noah and an enemy. He knew that he was a Noah as he managed to control the Ark and he transformed in front of Kanda a few days ago. "Alright. We would keep it secret it, except for our friends. But I don't know if I should tell Cross. What if he hurts you?"

"Then that means I deserve it." Kanda said simply. "Since you are important to Cross, that man would do everything to see if I am worthy to be with you. It would simply be up to me and to him."  
Looking at Allen, Kanda said, "Whatever happen in the future, just know I will be with you."  
'Because you were the person whom stay with me in my most weakest and vulnerable time.' Kanda silently continue in his head.

"I would think about it", Allen said though he was still afraid and hesitant to speak with him about his relationship. "You are right. I don't want to leave a future without you and I would not anything or anyone to hurt you. Or worse. Kill you."   
"No even me ", he added in his mind.   
Allen could see by the corner of his eyes the waitress approaching with their food and he couldn't help but blush again.

After that declaration, Kanda wants to scold Moyashi, at the same time he felt wamth over what Allen said. He was about to answer back when he noticed Allen is distracted, seemingly blushing. Then he sees the waitress carrying their food.  
Ah, that's why.  
To this, even Kanda isn't completely as composed as he was supposed to be. Spoon feeding Moyashi is ......  
Kanda blush at the thought but looking at Moyashi, it seems that Allen is far more embarrassed than him. Before Kanda knew it, a sadist erupted from his heart. All it want to do is to tease Allen all day long.  
With this he couldn't stop himself from smirking, and when the waitress set the food down, Kanda even graciously say 'thank you' back, making sure that the food is within his reach.  
Using the spoon to scoop some soup, he let his hand guide the spoon to Allen's mouth.

Allen blushed even red as he saw Kanda taking the spoon to his mouth. "I can't believe you are actually doing it this", he said with a chuckle as he hesitantly opened his mouth and accepted the food. After he swallowed he closed his eyes and expected for his stomach to get revenge on him because he dared to eat something. Even though it's was just a spoon of food. After a couple of seconds he opened his eyes and looked at Kanda. "It's doesn't make me nauseated", he said with a soft smile.

Kanda sigh in relief in his heart. In reality he wasn't that actually sure that he is correct in his guesses. That probably the reason why Allen easily upsets his stomach is because the speed of his eating. Now that Allen could certainly eat this soup, Kanda is now more determined to spoon feed Allen.  
Scooping another spoon of soup, Kanda feeds Allen without hesitation, his lips rising up a bit.

Allen eat in continue without complaining that he was spoon feeded, like a little kid. His stomach was a little glad because of the small food he was offering and despite the embarrassed situation Allen was slightly glad as well. He was glad and happy that he was receiving a lot of care and attention from Kanda. But when he saw him smirk as he handed him another spoon he kicked his knee under the table. "This is funny for you?" he asked scowling.


	14. Chapter 14

Kanda decisively avoid that kick and feed Allen another spoon of soup. Since Allen had already had seen his smirk, then Kanda shouldn't waste anymore effort to hide it. With that, he clearly show Allen his smirk, taunting him at the same time.   
"So what if it is?" Kanda taunt, smirking broadly. He scoop another spoon of soup. His overall body language conveying 'what can you do?'

Allen glared at the older boy and hit him over his hand making him drop the spoon. "You are an asshole. You know?"   
Allen dragged the bowl of soup closer to him and he took the spoon as he decided to feed himself. "I'm not letting you do this anymore", he said as he continued to eat the food quietly.

Kanda wants to laugh out loud but when he sees Allen get the the soup and continue to eat, he became alarmed.  
"No." Kanda said firmly. He uses his strength to pry off Allen's fingers. "I'll feed you. I won't be laughing anymore." Kanda said seriously.  
Right now, their goal is to make Allen eat without vomiting. If Moyashi seriously forgot how to moderate his speed in eating, another vomit accident might just happen.

Allen glared at Kanda and pushed the bowl in his direction a little harsher then he intend. He wasn't really angry at Kanda. Alright. Maybe a little angry. But he was also a little hurt that the older boy started to laugh as he when he was feeding him like it's was something funny. Because for Allen it's wasn't funny. At all. The slight laugh felt like Kanda was making fun of his strength. "Fine. But if you are going to laugh again I would pour the remaining contents of the soup in your head", he told him seriously without any hint of joking.

"Fine." Kanda said believing Allen. He began to spoon feed Allen with the utmost seriousness he could muster. However, it is different in his mind. Since he has already promised not to laugh, he didn't even let himself let even a chuckle come out. Instead, in his heart he appreciate Allen in his behavior right now. All he could see is how obedient Allen right now, even though what they are doing now must have hurt Allen's pride as a man. So he continue to spoon feed Allen without letting a smile in his face. However, it is clear that he looks tenderly at Allen.

Allen was glaring all the time at Kanda waiting for the older boy to start laughing again. But surprisingly he didn't. He kept a straight face and he looked tenderly at him. Allen dropped his glare and softened his look grateful that Kanda wasn't laughing at him anymore. Ten minutes later and two more spoons, Allen eat all the soup.   
"Thank you ", Allen said with gratitude." Now you should finish eating as well. "

Kanda looks at the noodles in his bowl. Usually, in Order, he would always eat soba. However, soba is not always available outside the mission. That is also one of the reason why Kanda usually do his mission in a faster and efficient way. However, some missions are longer to do, that’s why Kanda adapted into eating noodles instead. At this moment, Kanda is eating his noodles. Obviously, it was subpar to a cup of soba.  
Thankfully, they would be going on their way to the Order. But first, he need to finish the noodles and contact Komui later.   
Some moment later, he eats the last of his noodles, and then Kanda signals to Allen to stand up. It’s time for them to move.

As Kanda was eating his food Allen was switching between looking at the Japanese boy and outside the window. When Kanda signaled for him to eat Allen looked surprised to see that he finished eating so fast.   
"We are returning back to the Order? "he asked as he followed Kanda out from the restaurant. Despite the fact that he wants to return home he couldn't help but have a bad feeling about it. Especially after what Kanda did." We don't need to hurry. You know", Allen said with a small smile as he attached himself to Kanda hip.

"I know.” Kanda said. “But your body cannot afford that. And also remember that an akuma’s attack to you might still have some unexpected effects.”  
While Kanda said that, in truth, he is not that averse to delay their return to Order.” After all, in the Order, they would be unable to become a couple freely.  
Soon Kanda with Allen, stop into the nearby telephone booth.

Allen really forgot about what the Akuma did to him. He doesn't know if it's was because of the sickness or after all the events that happened. But after the encounter with the man he couldn't feel any emotion coming from Kanda or from anyone else. So arriving at a telephone booth Allen offered Kanda a nod because there wasn't any point in telling him that he couldn't feel any emotion, when the ability?was probably stopped because of his illness.

Kanda then correctly prepares his golem to contact the order. Waiting for someone to pick on the other side, Kanda observes at Allen. Though, Kanda is still worried, he notes down that Allen seems to be better. Then someone answers the phone. Kanda immediately reported to Komui. After the report, Kanda gave the phone Allen.

Allen was confused at why Kanda gave him the phone but he figured that Komui must want to talk with him about his problem. So Allen nodded to Kanda and took the phone from him with a small smile.   
"Hello Komui-san if you want to talk with me about the thing with the emotions I feel obligated to tell you that after I got sick the thing was fading little by little. Right now I don't feel anything like it. It's like it never happened. "

Kanda felt a headache building up. Earlier, when he talk to Komui, they have discussed several things, including on how to proceed from here.  
“If you are going to move from there instead of waiting, you need to meet halfway with the inspector.” Komui said grimly. “Because you and Allen have been together for several days without supervision, both of you have to undergo some questions, separately. The questions would include of the events that have happened during that time.”  
“Whether we meet up halfway or not, we will still be interrogated, am I right?” Kanda retorts back.  
Komui hums in agreement. “That’s true, but I would rather like that you would be interrogated in the Order, so that I could support both of you.”  
“Che.” Kanda said in irritation.  
“Fortunately, I have gotten permission from the higher ups.” Komui said. “When you meet halfway with them, Allen can use the ark to go directly into the order.”  
Kanda grunts in agreement.  
“As for you, Kanda, be careful.” Komui warned. “The order has tolerated many things from your behaviour, but because of what you have done, you are treading in thin ice right now.”  
“Why now?” Kanda grits out.  
“I don’t know.” Komui said. “However, I have heard rumours about another type of exorcist experiment.”  
Kanda inhale sharply at that.  
“Restrain your actions a bit.” Komui warned one more time. “And be careful. Also please pass this to Allen.”  
Kanda let out a sound of agreement.

As Kanda was talking on the phone with Komui Allen could see many emotions playing on the Japanese boy. And they were so many and they were changing so fast that he didn't have any time to pinpoint the emotions. After a few minutes Kanda ended the call and Allen looked at him worriedly before speaking. "Is something wrong Kanda? I can read it on your face that Komui said something that you don't like."

Kanda struggled to organise his thoughts. Right now, his priority is Allen. First think about what he should do first. Inform Allen first what is happening. Then the both of them would have to edit out their story of about them getting together during the interrogation. They also have to plan out what to do in the future and how to inform their relationship with the others. However, first they have to pass this incoming storm. And also prepare for the next batch of exorcist. Kanda could tell that nothing good will come out for the next following days. Fortunately, he now has someone to look forward for. That was what Kanda thought as he looks to Allen.

Allen waited patiently for Kanda to tell him about his conversation with Komui. But despite that he couldn't help but keep his worried face because it passed five minutes and all Kanda did was looking at him without uttering any words. "Has is conversation been so bad. What if Komui found out that Kanda attacked normal humans?" Allen thought to himself worriedly. At the end he decided that the first thing first is to get Kanda out from his zooming out state. "Hey. Kanda. Are you alright?" he asked as he tapped the Japanese boy face.

Kanda snap out of it. He looks at Allen and then he takes him into a secluded corner. Kanda then began to talk, about what Komui said, the warning, the incoming interrogation, and the possible new exorcists.  
After that, Kanda debated into himself if he should tell Allen about his past and the second exorcist experiment. However, Kanda doesn’t want pity for something that has happened long time ago. At the same time, he knows Allen need to know about this. In the end he couldn’t come to a decision.   
“What do you think?” Kanda ask Allen’s opinion instead.

"Well I don't know what to say about the new exorcists. I think that's a good idea to have more on our side. And about the integration then...."   
Allen didn't managed to finish his words because a black gate opened and Tyki and another man come from it. But before Allen or Kanda could do something, he was smashed to the wall and keept there unmoved. Allen couldn't do anything but watch helpless as Kanda, who couldn't move as well was dragged by Tyki in the gate. And after they all left the gate closed and the invisible force disappeared and Allen was free.


	15. Chapter 15

Kanda was taken surprised when their were suddenly attacked. He tried to move but he couldn't. He didn't even got to activate his innocence before he was grabbed by the two noahs and hurled towards into the black ark.  
Kanda couldn't understand why the noahs picked him instead of Allen. Nevertheless, he was a bit relieved it is him and not moyashi who is abducted.  
Before he could even think farther, Kanda felt someone kicked him in the stomach. Kanda grits in pain. He look to the noah who kicked him. He tried to move but no matter what he does, he still couldn't move, as if he is bind by strings.  
The other noah who stays still, grins at him, and with an elegant posture, he introduce himself. "My name is Sheryl. Sheryl Camelot. Noah of Desires."  
"We've got a lot to talk about, lover boy."

After Allen was freed from the invisible force and he was immediately transported his own Ark.   
"Welcome Allen Walker., the shadow that now was having human form said. Allen studied the 14th and he observed that the man was looking a little like Tyki.   
"I'm not here to talk with you. And forget it. I would not let you take over my body anymore. "

" I would not do that anymore. Not without your permission anyway. Mana would be very disappointed in me ".   
Allen eyes widened when he heard him say Mana how come that the Noah was knowing that name.   
" I know that you have many questions. But first you need my help to save your boyfriend.   
" And why should I even trust you? "  
" Because like I said. I'm not a bad person anymore. You are my nephew and I want to help you. Though I would gave explanation about nephew thing later. "  
Allen eyes widened when he heard that the 14th was is uncle. And if is true. Then does he have a connection with Mana?   
" Would you accept my help? "  
" Yes ", Allen said without hesitantion feeling that he would not regret his decision.

'lover boy' the phrase echoed inside Kanda's head. Does that mean the noahs already know....!!!  
"Yes, we know." Tyki said maliciously. "Who would have thought that the coldhearted man would have fallen in love to the person whom they should have hate."  
Kanda glares coldly at the man. He then spits out, "You....! How do you know?!"  
Tyki chuckles. "Ah. Remember that akuma. Though he may have died, his abilities still active in our hands. The ability to feel emotion and entwine those emotion with each other by planting a parasite in their body. Quite a unique ability, don't you think?"  
"Feel.... entwine???" Kanda repeated those words in confusion.  
"Hey, the both of you confessed to each other, right?" Tyki stated. "How would you feel if those feelings you feel were just another man's feeling? That it was only Allen's feelings blending with yours because of the akuma's powers."  
"You're lying." Kanda said stubbornly.  
"Eh. But don't you think you have become different. More softer, considerate." Tyki said. "Besides, I'm not lying."  
"What do you mean?" Kanda ask, growling.  
"You'll know it soon enough." Tyki said. "But first we have to deal with you."  
Kanda was then knock out cold by the noah.

Allen waited patiently as his uncle, as he found out a couple of weeks ago, because of that much time Kanda was missing, was searching mentally for Kanda location. Allen spend the weeks only in the Ark and talking with Nea and waiting to know Kanda whereabouts. And every time the older man come to him with a negative answer Allen was fearing for Kanda life.   
"I found him ", Nea scremed happy making Allen giggle but smile in relief." Is in Earl Ark. Is pretty beaten but he's alive. I would open the gate and lead you there. The Ark is partially empty but you still need to be careful. I don't want nothing to happen with you. "  
" Don't worry uncle. I would be ".   
When the gate opened Allen took a deep breath and entered in the enemy territory.

Kanda woke up in a new place. He is currently chained in a dungeon, if this place could even be called that. The reason for that is because this place is filled with stuff toys of all sizes. There are even stuff toys that has different clothes, different species, and even different emotions displayed in their faces. The most unnerving of them, is that they follow each of his moves with their eyes. He couldn't hide from them.  
For now though. Kanda ignored them. Right now, he was filled with what Tyki has said.   
His feelings for Allen is not true.  
What he feels now is both of his emotions and of that moyashi mixing together, entangled. It was because of that akuma.  
Kanda inhaled sharply.   
Kanda wrestle with his emotions. Right now, he can't afford to make a mistake.  
So he began to think from the start. The reason why they captured him instead of Allen. The hate in Tyki's eyes. Kanda's feelings for Allen and Allen's feelings for him. The akuma's power.  
As Kanda tried to make sense of everything that has happened, suddenly everything becomes clear. Then he heard someone came in. Kanda quickly shut down all his thoughts, and slip into other far more mundane thoughts. Like how to escape from this place.  
"Here. Here. Millenie." A young girl said to the Millennium Earl. The Millennium warmly chuckles. "Thank you, Road."  
The Millennium Earl looks at Kanda with hostile eyes.  
"So you are the one who dares to touch my beloved 14th." The Millennium Earl said with a strange voice. Suddenly, Kanda's left leg was bent into two.   
"Mrrph!!" Kanda muffled his own screams, his eyes glaring at the earl with hate.  
"Tut.Tut. Tut." The Earl mockingly scolds Kanda, his eyes filled with malicious intents. "This what happens to people who covets something that they can't have."  
The Earl then whispers to Kanda gently, as if a parent scolding his dear child, "You don't deserves the 14th. Neah is only mine."  
Then comes anothers clean break of one of his arms.  
"Ne, Ne, Millennie." Road whine. "I want to play too." Then she glared at Kanda. "Allen can only be mine."  
The Earl looks warmly at Road. "Then let's play together, shall we?"  
Road smiles at Millennium Earl. "I'll also call the others."  
"Of course. This will be a great family bonding." The Earl claps his hands excitedly.   
Kanda looks at the crazy Noahs. It seems that this will be a long night.

Allen was rushing through the Ark as he followed Nea. Allen couldn't believe that the 14th Noah could male himself corporeal all this time and not only in the Ark. "Here is it. Let me go first. The Milenium Earl is there and I feel the other Noah approach as well. You take Kanda and leave fast. I would come after you soon."   
Allen nodded and watched as Nea destroyed the door and entered.   
Nea rushed inside and immediately started to attack the Earl. He knew that he doesn't have any chance against him but at least he could buy time for Kanda and Allen.   
Allen rushed immediately after his uncle and he glanced as he fought against the Earl for a second before rushing towards Kanda.   
"Kanda. Oh my God. Are you alright? "Allen asked worriedly as he started to free Kanda of his chains.

While Road was away, the Millennium Earl plays with Kanda. He breaks the bone and resets it. He slice and cut the skin of Kanda. Even his nails was plucked out one by one by the Earl. The nails are that are plucked are especially given a special treatment. Each nails got painted, and they are displayed in a gift wrap box with a glass top.   
The worst thing is that Kanda have regeneration. So every time he was injured, he heals pretty fast. When the Earl discovered about this, he was pretty ecstatic.   
"Oh the fun game we could play with you." The Earl whispers joyfully, like a child who has just found that his toy has an additional cool parts. "You would not break so easily."  
Kanda really tries to bear it with dignity. But soon he finds himself screaming and not long after that, Kanda retreats back to his mental space, where pain couldn't reach him and where his sanity is saved for the moment.  
Right now, the Kanda outside is merely nothing but a shell. He couldn't see the fight that is occurring in front of him, nor does he sees Allen freeing him. What his body does know is that someone is gently holding him.

Allen doesn't know what was wrong with Kanda. When he tried to get his attention he couldn't do it. He was completely out of it. So the younger boy hugged the older one gently and looked at Nea and Earl fighting. "Allen leave this place now. I would follow you", the man said not turning his attention from his fight.   
Allen closed his eyes and focused to transport him and Kanda on his Ark Instead of opening a gate. A couple of minutes late the two of them were sprawled on the ground and they were joined by Nea soon after. Allen knew that his uncle would be alright. So he focused completely on Kanda.   
"Kanda. Please talk to me ", he pleaded as he stroked his hair gently.

Slowly, Kanda becomes aware a bit. He felt someone holding him gently, but unyielding. He felt someone stroke his head, as if he was a fragile glass. Then he heard someone began to talk to him.  
"Kanda" It seems so far away.  
"Talk to me." It was pleading to him.  
Deciding to follow his instincts, Kanda followed the voice. Then he wake up.  
"Mo...ya..shi." Kanda uttered brokenly. He sees Allen looking at him.

Allen could feel tears pricking at his eyes and his heart clenched in pain as he heard Kanda broken voice. But that doesn't stop him to put a small smile on his face to assure the Japanese boy.   
"Yes.Yes I'm hear. You are with me in the Ark. Not with the Earl and Noah. You are safe ", he said as he brought Kanda in another gentle hug.

Kanda breathes roughly. He take account of his body. Broken bones, burnt parts of his bodies, his fingers and wrist, and many more. There are too much damage in his body. His regeneration ability couldn’t keep up.  
He focus back to Allen. “Where ...?”  
And then at the same time he sees a Noah behind Allen.  
“Noah!” Kanda gasp in shock. He began to struggle again.

Allen tightened his arms around Kanda when he felt him struggling as he saw Nea. "Don't worry Kanda. Nea is not bad." Not anymore, he added in his min. "He's my uncle. He wouldn't hurt us. He helped me save you."   
Nea made his skin color white and made his stigmata disappear as he approached the two boys. "He's right. I would not hurt you. My name is Nea Walker and I'm the 14th".  
If his hands wouldn't have been busy with holding Kanda, Allen would have facepalmed right now because his uncle told him that he was the Noah 14th. The same Noah that was residing in his body and tried to kill him once.

Kanda stop struggling. This is too much. Too many things are happening at once. Starting from that damn mission, everything seems to veer off into a twisted path. It was as if, Kanda had rode off onto a horse that is running full speed, backwards, upside down. From that damn akuma and it’s powers, Moyashi’s feelings and his, the fucking Order and their issues and shenanigans, the bastard Noahs that appear out of nowhere, that Mad Earl torturing him because of the fucking Noah in front of him, who just have to introduce himself as Allen’s uncle and the 14th Noah that is supposed to possessed Allen....  
Kanda felt too cornered, too strung-up.   
He faints.


	16. Chapter 16

Allen eyes widened when Kanda fainted and he didn't know what to do. He looked helpless at Nea hoping that his uncle would know what to do. "Don't worry Allen", Nea said as he picked Kanda up, gently, and lowered him on the couch. "Everything that happened with him was to much to handle and he passed out", he said as he opened Kanda bloody shirt.   
"What are you doing? "Allen as he stand up from the ground and took a seat beside Kanda, putting the Japanese boy head in his lap.   
" Have you forgotten that I have healing powers as well? Even if I can't heal him completely I can still make his pain more bearable and to spead his healing ability. "  
Allen nodded and watched as Nea put a hand on Kanda chest and closed his eyes. Immediately a white light appeared behind Nea hand and on Kanda chest.

Blank.  
Void.  
Empty.  
Nothing.  
Nowhere.  
A dying lotus.  
That is how Kanda descibes his own mindscape.  
His mind has always been empty. Not even colors or light can enter. The reason why it is like that is simple. Except for few other desires, Kanda has only wished for one thing: the eradication of his entire being.  
Because he was an experiment that has been brought back from the dead, Kanda has always entertained the thought of completely destroying himself. However, he is too proud to eventually do it. And the Order is always in stand-by to take action if he ever did something drastic such as suicide.  
The only thing that remains in this place is this lotus. The indicator of how long his life will last.  
Right now it is wilting pretty fast, a petal is the only one remaining attached to the center piece.  
Looking at the flower, Kanda felt conflict in his very being on the day he should have been relieved.  
He never thought there will come a time he will wish to live once more.  
Everything is clear but not everything is clarified. Kanda will regret it dearly if he couldn’t confirm his true feelings for Allen. However, reality is cruel. It wouldn’t be long before the lotus will wilt and his life would follow soon. Suddenly, a rush of power envelopes Kanda. Before long, his lotus began to glow and it blooms. It was as if his life span has been lengthened by someone.   
It seems that he would be loving still.

Allen was running his fingers through Kanda hair as he watched Nea using his healing power.   
Nea frowned a little and he pressed his hand more on Kanda chest and the light grew more stronger.   
The younger boy couldn't believe that after three hard weeks of worrying about Kanda safety, the Japanese boy was here finally safe and sound despite his injuries and scars.   
"Done ", the 14th said after ten minutes as he retracted his hand and closed Kanda shirt." Right now we need to wait for him to woke up. But rest is the best thing for him now. And you need to rest as well. "  
Allen tried to protest but he was silenced by Nea scolding glare. So Allen nodded and leaned his head against the back of couch and closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep as he was listening to his uncle playing his lullaby.

When Kanda sees the lotus healthy without a change on it, Kanda stop looking at it. Right now all Kanda wants to do is to sleep. Unfortunately, he can’t. Now that he is still alive, whether he wants it or not, trouble would come find him sooner or later. So Kanda has to be ready. He has to adapt. So he began organizing his thoughts, connecting the information together. Lastly, he confirms his own emotions. During his time with the Earl, the crazy maniac generously release him from the akuma effect. So he has to confirm his feelings for Allen.  
.....  
.....  
.....?  
.....!  
.....!!!  
Kanda look at nowhere in daze.  
Oh.

Surprisingly the 14th lullaby managed to lull Allen to sleep. His hand stopped his moving on Kanda hair but he didn't retracted his hand. He kept it there so gave Kanda some sense of safety.   
Nea stopped playing after a few minutes and he turned around to see that Allen falled asleep as well. So before he could retreat back in his nephew mind, the Noah took a blanket and covered the two boys with it. After that, he disappeared.

Kanda look in daze, before he knows it, he has fallen asleep. A moment of time pass by. Then everything snap into a focus. Awareness trickle slowly in. Kanda began to sense his surroundings. A warm body with him, a hand in his head, the rough foldings of the blanket in his body, and light touching his face. Kanda slowly move, starting with his fingers, to his hand, arms, legs, neck, and into his whole body.  
He isn’t injured anymore.   
Next, he tried to snap his open eyes. Due to the light, he closes it again. Then he open his eyes again, this time slowly. As his vision clears up, he sees mop of white head.   
Allen’s head is on top of his chest.

Allen moved a little in his sleep but he immediately settled down when he still could feel the warm and secure body of Kanda.   
Nea appeared again when he felt that one of the boys was awake. When he saw that Kanda was awake he made a shushing sign and pointed to his sleeping nephew. He approached Kanda and he kneeled in front of him, looking at the Japanese boy with a soft face.   
"How are you feeling?"he wishpered softly to not spook Kanda.

Kanda frowned when he sees the Noah, Allen’s uncle, approach him. Though this noah is obviously different from others, Kanda couldn’t help but be wary. This Noah is supposed to be the one who will take over Moyashi. However, this person is also the same Noah who is currently helping him and Allen. So he gave a curt, “Fine.”

"I'm glad that my power managed to help you", Nea said as he raised from the floor and patted Kanda shoulder. "And even though your injuries are healed that doesn't mean that you don't also need to rest. Plus there are many things that you need to know. But this things you should hear it from Allen. So if you don't need me anymore, then I would retreat."

Kanda watch the Noah walk out of the room. This noah seems to be far more sane than the others. So this is Allen’s Noah. Speaking of Allen, he looks back to see him one more time. This person is really an idiot. What kind of person would willingly invade the enemy’s force just to get back a lover that has just been with him a few days ago? A foolish one.   
Kanda snorts in disbelief.

Allen stretched a little on the couch as he started to come around. He rubbed his eyes as he opened them. When he saw that Kanda was awake, through his half open eyes. He immediately jumped in sitting position and grabbed Kanda in a hug, as he saw that it wasn't just a dream. Kanda was really here. "I'm glad that you are alright", Allen said as he tightened his hold on Kanda and petted his hair gently.

Kanda let Allen hold him. But soon he separates himself from Moyashi. Kanda nods at Allen. They have a lot of thing to talk about. They especially need to talk about their relationship. However, first everything should be clarified.  
“Where are we?” Kanda ask, neither cold or warm. “Actually, explain everything that has happened.”

Allen was a little disappointed when he heard Kanda tone voice. It's was different. More like how he was back before they confessed their love for each other.   
At Kanda request Allen started to explain. "We are in the Ark. Musician room. After you were captured by the Tyki and the other Noah I was brought here by my uncle. Nea explained to me that he is my uncle and that he's not bad anymore and that he would help me get you back. It took him three weeks but he managed to find you in the Earl Ark. Then me and Nea walked there to save you. When we brought you back and fainted Nea took the opportunity to heal you. And another important thing is....Is that we can return back to the Order. After you've been captured and I spent the time here one of the Noah sended a fake message that we joined them. So we are branded as traitors and if we return we would be executed immediately. "

 


	17. Chapter 17

Kanda nods at that. So it seems that both the Noah and the Order would be gunning for both of them in the future. Also the Noah has heal him. Maybe the Noah would also be able to dispel the akuma’s effect to Allen as well.  
“During the time I was with the noahs and the earl, they have said some interesting things.” Here, Kanda stop. “However, it will be best if we first destroy that akuma effect on you. After that, we can talk more of them.”

Allen blinked as he looked confused at Kanda,not knowing what he was talking about.   
"If you are talking about that Akuma effect that gave Allen that temporary ability I feel obligated to tell you that is long gone ", Nea said appearing beside the two boys and wrapped both his arms around them." I know that the Noah must tell you some lies about them. But in reality the only thing the Akuma did was make Allen feel people around him emotions. That's all. Nothing more. "

“I know.” Kanda said to the Noah. He frowned, trying to explain his reasons. “It is better that no influences affect the both of us when we talk about it.”  
Kanda then look straight to Allen. “Tell me truthfully, when did you fall in love with me and why?”

"I thought that I already told you. I falled in love with you after out mission in Matel. And not because you are a beautiful or strong, not that you are not. Anyway of the subject. But because despite your cold attitude you are a warm person that care about his friends, even though you wouldn't say it. And because you hide yourself and your true emotions because you are afraid of what the others would say. Because you are exactly the same as me", Allen explained truthfuly as he didn't understand why Kanda would ask him that question again.

Kanda desperately keep his calm facade. He barely succeeds. “I am a jerk.” Kanda points out. “Of everyone, I give you the hardest time the most. I have attacked you many times and had tried to kill you again and again. I have threaten you every time we meet, expresses you my disdain and hostility to you, and every time we meet, we always end up in a fight. How could you have fallen for someone like me?”

"Well you are right with the jerk thing", Allen said with a chuckle and cupped Kanda face. "But your threats and fights and anything don't affect me. All my life I was threatened with death and other things before Mana has founded me and after he died. But, you are different. Like I said. All that things that you did were a self defense mechanism to protect yourself. So of course I falled in love with you. You are strong, beautiful, mysterious. But more importantly you are exactly like me. And nothing and anything would not make me love you anymore. "

Idiot.  
That was the first thing Kanda thought.  
Fool.   
Followed the first thought.   
A love sick idiot.   
Kanda find it surprising that he didn’t think it repulsive.  
“Don’t do foolish things. Think and answer me for this next question.” Kanda warned. “What would you do if you found out that everything I felt for you is an effect someone else powers? That every thing that I have done for you is because of an outside influence?”

Allen dropped his hands from Kanda face as well as his smile. He didn't know why Kanda said that thing. Why he said that there weren't his true feelings. "Well I would be definitely heartbroken that the person I love so much isn't loving me back. But I would still not stop loving you or stop helping you."

Kanda felt really uncomfortable. But Allen really needs to know about this. More than anything, Allen deserve to know about Kanda’s answer. His true answer.  
“During my time with the Noahs, I have discovered many things.” Kanda said, then slowly he explains. “They said that my love for you is the result of our emotions mixing together. That it is not truly my own emotion that I feel for you.”

"I.. Ahm.." Allen was speechless not knowing what exactly how to answer to that. "I'm going on a walk through the Ark streets."   
Allen left without letting Kanda to say anything.   
"You know? "Nea said as he approached Kanda once more after his nephew left.   
" When I healed you I didn't feel anything inside you to have anything with what you said. Plus you shouldn't listen to them. They only lie. You need to listen to your heart. "

“I only want to hear his resolution. Next time that this might happen, we may end up breaking up and hurting each other.” Kanda simply said in reply. Kanda then tried to explain. “I do want to give my heart to him. However, we have just gotten together and yet we have already experienced many obstacles. If this incident has shaken him too much, then maybe if in the future, Allen would back out.”  
Kanda sigh, frustrated at how he cannot express clearly what he meant and slump into the chair. “What I truly want is for Allen to never falter to get what he wants. That way, no matter what happens in the future, he would never hesitates to be with me.”  
Kanda look at the Noah. “I wonder if you could actually understand what I meant.”

"Believe me kid", Nea said with a small smile as he touched Kanda shoulder. "Allen would never falter. He would always want to be with you. Right now he needs to process your words. I know that he would be back soon. And more importantly he would not hesitate to be with you. He loves you to much to do that."   
After Nea finished speaking Allen walked back to the musician room. "I'm sorry that Ieft. No matter what if what you said was true or not I would still love you. But I would not force you to do it if you don't really feel that."

Kanda look at Allen. That foolish look. It seems to say that no matter how many painful events they would experience, Allen would stick to him.   
Kanda is charmed and at the same time, embarrassed. However, he didn’t show it and look uncertainly to Allen.  
“Since you confess to me, I would also tell you my answer.” Kanda said quietly. “Truthfully, the time we spent is too little for me to develop feelings for you.”  
“However, I do have a great deal of respect to you.” Kanda said, looking away from Allen. “And despite how foolish you are, I am charmed by your kindness.”  
Kanda heave a deep breath. “I also feel that I ..... I might actually fall in love to you if given time.”  
“Don’t expect though that I will change.” Kanda glared fiercely at Allen. “You can also set your worries of me leaving you as well.”  
Kanda look away again. “No matter what, regardless if you want me, if you wish of me to, if you love me or not, I would always be by your side.”  
“As for that reason why I would stick to you,” Kanda said, still looking away, “you are the reason.”

Allen wasn't expecting with that answer and with Kanda words. And despite how deep and truthfuly his words were, he still wished to have the Kanda that took care of him in that town when he was sick. But he didn't let it show that he was a little bothered by his words. "At least you've been sincere and I appreciate it."   
Allen walked to the white piano and pressed a note for a gate towards Mana and Nea childhood mansion to open. "Do you want to see your new home?" he asked as he reached a hand towards Kanda.

To Kanda, it was easy to see that Allen was disappointed. Kanda knows it was because he retracts back the love confession before. However, Kanda couldn’t help it. More than anything, Kanda want this relationship to be genuine, regardless of where it will go in the future, at least Kanda knew he will never regret it.  
At the same time, for this to work out between the two of them, both of them have to reach with each other.  
It can’t be help. Kanda will do it first.  
So he looks at Allen neutrally. “After you show me the house, would you like to stay with me and .... talk?”

Allen smiled a little at Kanda question and grabbed his hand. "Of course I would want to stay with you and talk. I don't have anything else better to do. And even if I should have I would have stayed."   
Allen squeezed Kanda hand a little and he guided the Japanese boy through the gate and towards the mansion.

Kanda nods at Allen and follow him. Now that they were doing this, Kanda couldn’t help but feel a bit of an awkwardness. Of course on the surface, he hardly shows it, sticking to his cold facade. However it is still there among the nervousness, anticipation, and hope. Kanda just hope that the feelings between his  
and Allen would actually work out.

Arriving in the huge mansion, Allen closed the gate and turned towards Kanda. I took you in your room and we can talk. I made it for you ", Allen said as he started to walk upstairs dreading about the following talk.   
Arriving at the first floor and first door Allen stopped with a small smile. "Here is it", he said opening the door. The room walls were painted dark blue with a few lotus flowers on it, that was matching the lotus from the brown ajar table. In the the room was a big wardrobe a leather white couch and armchair and a king sized bed with silk bedsheets and thick bed covers. Allen prepped this room specialy for Kanda to live when he would find him.

Kanda somehow found this room pleasing to his eyes. He found it somehow calming and soothing to him. A shadow of smile appear in his eyes as he calmly takes in the room. Observing the room, he saw something that made him jolt in surprise.  
The Lotus!  
Walking to the table, he looks at the lotus intently. After a few minutes, Kanda is certain that this lotus is the same as the lotus in his room at the Order.  
When?  
How?  
No. The real question is how did Allen find to build a mansion, invade the order, and decorate his room in just a short time.  
He looks back to Allen and beckons him to sit down in the couch nearby the table.  
He looks curiously at Allen and quietly inquire, “When did you get the lotus?”


	18. Chapter 18

Allen watched with a small smile as he Kanda was exploring his new room. The younger boy wouldn't mind if Kanda wouldn't like his room. He wasn't an artist neither when it's coming to drawing or decoration.   
"Two days ago ", Allen answered Kanda questions as he took a seat on the white leather couch." Around midnight I opened a gate to the Order and sneaked in. I recovered some of our things from there including our clothes and your lotus. And when I brought it here I figured that this walls were to simple blue. So I drew some lotus flowers to match yours. "

Kanda sees Allen’s mischievous smile and he couldn’t help but imagine the reactions of the Order once they learn what just happened under their nose. Amusement glittered in Kanda’s eyes and at the same time a feeling of vindication rise up from his heart.  
Thinking that misery might touch those investigators over what happened in the Order just makes Kanda’s mood significantly better.  
“What about the mansion?” Kanda soon ask.

"Well. That's a bit of a long story. So", Allen grabbed Kanda arm and dragged him beside him on the couch. "Stay here and listen. This mansion was Mana and Nea childhood house. A couple years later the last owner of this house died, making it abandoned. But Nea and apparently Cross too, have put invisible spells on it. Meaning that no one can see the house, except for the people that are living here. Nea told me about it and leaded me to this mansion two weeks ago. Because apparently I was starting to annoy him with the same question. Did you find Kanda? After that Nea said to stay here and do whatever I want only to stop asking the same question again and again from five minutes to five minutes. So I made my own room and after that I started to work on this one. Your room. "

“The noah’s house.” Kanda uttered, surprised. Ever since he learnt of the Ark, Kanda actually thought that the Noahs live in there. He didn’t expect for them to live like this before. What more surprising is the fact that a general actually hid this house from the Order.  
“Aside from this room and yours,” Kanda ask, “what else did you find?”

Allen was a afraid when he heard Kanda first comment thinking that if he found out that this was 14th house he would not want to live here anymore. And even when he asked his question Allen wasn't completely relaxed. "Well beside this two bedrooms, it got another 12 bedrooms, each with a bathroom like yours and mine. It got a living room, lounge, kitchen, ball room, library, garden and a medical ward.".

“I see.” Kanda said. Then he fell quiet. He doesn’t know what to say anymore. When you are with someone who is a possible lover, what are you supposed to talk about with him? Kanda has never bothered about trivial things like this before. He never thought that he will have to experience this at all. Kanda decided to give it a try anyway.  
“How are you?” He said awkwardly to Allen and turn to glare at the wall. This is difficult than he expected.

"Huh?" Allen blinked a couple of times, confused at Kanda question. Kanda did said that they would talk but he never expected to be asked this thing now. "I think I should ask you that. I'm not the one who was captured by Noah and tortured by them for three weeks."   
In this moment Allen annoying uncle decided to appear on Kanda bedroom window and spill the beans. "Yes. But you are the one who only slept three hours per day this weeks and ate very little."   
"Buzz of Nea ", Allen said annoyed as he threw a pillow in the window." Don't listen to him Kanda. He lies."

Kanda grew annoyed when the moyashi won’t go along with him and answer his question. Don’t he see how hard it was for him to actually take the initiative! He doesn’t know what he should do!  
Kanda is half-tempted to hack the moyashi in embarrassment and at the same time run away from this failure.  
Then the noah appear. Listening from their conversation, Kanda was surprised to know that Allen is that worried about him. This makes him remember the days they are together before. At that time, Allen was kind to him. So Kanda decided to reciprocate back.  
“Did you catch up sleep?”

When he heard Kanda question Allen couldn't help but start cursing Nea in his mind for telling Kanda about his sleeping and eating schedule. And he also made sure that he would hear through their mental link.   
"Of course I did Kanda. Don't listen to my uncle. He likes to tell lies most of the time. But I think that you should stop worrying about me and start worry more on you. "

Kanda glares at Allen. If this moyashi thinks he could lie to Kanda without him noticing it, then Kanda would eat his own sword. Now that they are currently safe, it is better to recuperate now than later. Though it warms his cold heart that the Moyashi is that worried about him, they are still currently in war with the noahs AND the order. If they want to survive later, then they would have to be healthy. Besides it's been less than 2 days since Kanda got away from that hell. He is actually pretty tired now as well, and hasn't eaten much these past few days.  
So he pick up Allen by the hand, and signals Neah to lead them to the kitchen. "We are going to eat, both of us." Kanda said to Allen, daring him to defy him.

Allen dismissed Nea because he knew where the kitchen was as well. And after they left Kanda bedroom, he began to lead him downstairs. Allen wouldn't protest about eating as he did it many times for this past three weeks. But what he didn't like it was that Kanda decided to come with him. He could have brought the food in his room as well. But he didn't said anything because he knew how stubborn Kanda is. Especially when it's coming to eating or sleeping.   
"So. What do you want to eat? I can make you anything. Though I would prefer for you to eat something light ", Allen said after they entered in the kitchen and he viewed Kanda malnourished body.

"Soba." Kanda said curtly. Kanda look around at the kitchen curiously. Though it is different from the kitchen in Order, it seems that this kitchen is the same as the other's household, which is basically wooden counters, wooden cabinets, stone furnace and other miscellaneous things. The kitchen look cozy.  
Kanda turned to look at Allen. Now that he thought about it, does Allen actually knows how to cook?

Allen crossed his arms and glared at Kanda when he heard his choice of food. And he wasn't pleased at all. But he wouldn't not tell Kanda this. He would tell. "I told light food. And if your stomach is bothered by your choice of food you have only yours to blame."   
After that Allen opened the fridge and cabinets and took the necessary ingredients to make food for Kanda and for himself as well.

Kanda ignored Allen and began to set the table for dining in. Allen may not know but Kanda knew his body would accept whatever he eats, unless there is a wound specifically targeted into his digestive tract. It is one of the 'perks' being a second experiment exorcist. At the same time, there are also certain foods he isn't allowed to eat to prevent his body from breaking down because of certain chemical processes. In simpler terms, he can eat soba in any state while there are foods he musn't eat for his health.  
Looking at the table, this somehow reminds him of the day he finally got moyashi to eat some soup by spoon feeding him. Remembering those memories, though he was truly embarrassed, he enjoys it far more than eating alone. It is a one of a kind of experience.

Allen glanced a little from the stove where the pasta was boiling as Kanda left the kitchen, to do whatever he wants. He knew that he shouldn't be worried about Kanda. This mansion is on lock down and if you want to truly leave from it, not only the garden, him and Nea need to open a gate. So the only place Kanda can go is either to wander around the mansion or in the garden. So Allen decided to turn his attention back on the food.   
Half and hour later the white haired boy finished Kanda soba and he made himself some chicken stew. After both foods were ready he called Kanda back into the kitchen.

With nothing to do, Kanda decides to sit down and meditate. After all, it would still be a while before the moyashi would be finished cooking. While resting, Kanda organizes his thoughts once more. While he has already resolved about the relationship between him and Allen, they still haven't talk in detail on what happened to him during his time with the Earl, the things that he have discovered while there, and the plans they would create to prepare for future. All of this, Kanda decided, has to be done after they eat.

When Allen called Kanda once more and the older boy didn't appeared, Allen frowned worriedly and left the kitchen. When he arrived in the living room he sighed in relief. The motive that Kanda didn't heard him, was because the older was meditating.   
Allen smiled softly and walked back in the kitchen from where he returned minutes later with plates of food and cups of tea. After he put them on the plate he kneeled down in front of Kanda. A little hesitant Allen kissed Kanda forehead before tapping his face to bring him back to reality.

Kanda felt surprise when he felt someone kiss his head. Before Kanda could even take action, he felt someone tapping his face. Opening his eyes, it takes a while before he recognize it was Allen. Alarmed, Kanda tried to back away, but he forgot that he is currently sitting in the chair. Kicking his feet into the ground to back away, his feet instead slip and hit Allen instead. Then Allen fall forward to his chest, and then the chair Kanda is sitting, topple backwards.   
Kanda felt his head hit the floor. When he came again, he sees Allen sprawled into his body, their legs sticking out.   
Kanda's face promptly exploded.  
"THIS.....!!!!!!"


	19. Chapter 19

Allen lifted his head and when he saw the position they were in, he blushed red as a tomato and moved away from Kanda immediately. His mind was blank and he didn't what to say or what to do anymore.   
Finally after what felt like an eternity Allen shook his head and stands up from the floor. "I'm sorry", Allen said as he reached a hand towards Kanda to help him up. "Are you ok?"

Kanda decisively not accept the hand and stand up himself. If he actually accept Allen's hand, he isn't quite sure what actually might happen. It is better to refuse rather than end up in a rather embarrassing position again. Besides, someone might have seen them.  
He felt like he couldn't control his own emotions. He keep clenching and relaxing his hands and right now Kanda isn't quite sure what is his face showing right now.  
Kanda turn away and tried to answer steadily. "I-I'm fine."  
Kanda internally curse his moment of stuttering.

Even though Allen doesn't have the ability to feel emotions he could still read them from Kanda face. He knew that the older boy was embarrassed and hesitant about their new relationship. If you could said it that's way. Plus he also could see the tense posture of him. He heart clenched a little in pain as he ignored Kanda stuttering and took a seat at the table. Without looking at the older boy Allen asked his question.   
"Why are you acting like this now that you found out that your emotions are fake. "I'm I really that bad person or company?"

When he heard Allen ask that seriously, Kanda tried to answer back truthfully. Sitting down, he look straight to Allen.  
"When did I say that my feelings for you is fake." Kanda glares at Allen. "I said that I spent too little time to develop feelings for you. However, that didn't mean I never felt for you."  
"You are not a bad person." Kanda continues, his frown getting deeper. "In fact you are the opposite." Here, Kanda turns his face away. "It is because of your kindness that I am attracted to you."  
"But as I said, it's too early to be together." Kanda said. "What I want is for the both of us to understand each better."  
Kanda look at Allen once more. "What I want is to know about the man who I will be with in the rest of my life. What I want is to understand what kind of person you are Allen Walker."

Well Allen was really pleased with the answer that he received. He was glad that Kanda didn't hate him and neither think that he is a bad person. So he would gave Kanda the necessary time and he would not rush their relationship. It's not like they had anything else to do now that he was stuck with Kanda in the mansion.   
"You need to be more coherent Kanda. Because my personality is multiple ", Allen said with a chuckle." I wasn't that nice and kind all the time. "

Kanda scoff at Allen's answer. Not that nice and kind huh. Unbelievable. With how merciful this man is, what would it take in order to make this man snap? It almost make him want to see it. So he smirks back to Allen and said back, "I'll look forward to that day."  
After all, an Allen who isn't kind, is an Allen that is just hidden away.

Allen smirked and chuckled a little at Kanda answer as he took some bites from his food. He was amazed that it was so delicious as he didn't cooked that kind of food anymore.   
"I don't think you would be. I won't start to reveal all my childhood or past. But I must tell that when I was younger, before Mana founded me, I was a child with a very pouty mouth. "

"Hmph." Kanda cross his arms. "Maybe you were, but I think you are not as bad as you were thinking."   
After that, he uncross his arms and take a bite of soba. It was surprisingly tasty. Leagues better than he thought it would be. So Moyashi could cook after all. Sipping the soup, Kanda curiously wonder when and why do Allen knows how to cook a japanese food.  
"Oi. Moyashi." Kanda called out. "Who taught you too cook?"

 


	20. Chapter 20

Allen almost wanted to snort as he heard Kanda saying that he wasn't that had. The younger boy knee if Kanda would have meet him when he was much younger he would have another opinion about him. He was greatful for Mana that he made him stop cursing. Well most of the time anyway.   
"I learned from Jerry", Allen answered Kanda questions. "And Nea teached me a little as well even though he can't make himself corporeal outside from the Ark. Yet."

Kanda look at the soba with conflicting emotions. So that's the reason why it taste so familiar and different at the same time. And Kanda learned something new today. Noahs have more other hobbies than just trying to destroy the world.  
"He must have been scandalized." Kanda said to Allen. "How did you convince Jerry to teach you? That man is far more territorial over his own kitchen second only to Komui who treated Lenalee as his treasure."

Allen almost chocked in the food when he heard Kanda question. "It's not a funny story. Or a scary one if that's what you think. It's more of a sad one. For me at least. It's was after the Ark event when the others thought of me as a Noah and an enemy because I can control the Ark thanks to my uncle. I was eating and I was depressed. Extremely. Jerry saw me and he decided to make me a little happier and relaxed. And knowing that I like food. So he took me to the kitchen and started teach me to l cook. "

Knowing how kind Jerry is, no matter how he hid it under his flamboyant actions, Kanda believes Allen. Even to Kanda himself, the man never stops from being friendly, no matter how he treated Jerry coldly.  
Kanda began to eat the soba again, a strange feeling similar to nostalgia rise from his heart. It is inevitable, Kanda guess, that he would get attached to the few people at the Order.   
Speaking of Order, Kanda still have to talk about their future plans. SoKanda immediately finished his food before having a talk with Allen.

Despite the fact Allen eat a lot more food then he was having in plate and more faster, after Kanda finished eating, he was still having some food on it. His habits had died or become more smaller on this three weeks. After a couple of minutes he finished eating as well and he took his plate in the kitchen where he washed it. "Want me to show you something?" Allen asked a little enthusiastic about his surprise from Kanda. Though he was also a little afraid because he doesn't know if Kanda would like it or not.

Kanda was truly shock this time. Another surprise. Isn’t this too much? It seems that Allen is in the roll here. However, he steeled his heart.   
“Allen, after the surprise, we have to talk.” Kanda said.  
Kanda has to tell him. It seems that every time he was going to talk, he got delayed over and over again. But that is fine as well, as long as that Moyashi knew the gravity of their situation. They are after all in the eye of the storm.

"After this we can talk as much as you like."   
Allen grabbed Kanda and guided him towards the only locked room from the mansion that was beside the living room. "I know that you like to meditate. Like you did on that day on the hotel. So I made you a meditation room."   
Allen took the key from his neck and unlocked the door and opened it wide.   
Allen smiled widely and opened the door wide reveling a room full of Japanese things as well as candles and many other things that gave you a sensation of peace and relaxation.

For a moment, Kanda was assaulted with memories of past. Of his memories and impressions of his life before his second life. Room like this, with altars of gods and goddesses, of prayers and candles, and of peace and quiet. As fast it appears, it quickly flash away.   
In his eyes, he sees Allen blurred with another person, of another time, and of a promise.  
‘I will protect you.’  
Kanda heard someone whispered to him, determined.  
He looks at Allen and holds his hand. Yes, he would protect Allen.  
So he look at Allen and nods in gratitude to Allen, in his heart, a promise is etched.

Allen was a little afraid that Kanda wouldn't like his room because his a little fancy and more of the objects have sparks of gold on them. His uncle told him that he would make the room more traditional and beautiful. And he wouldn't mind if he would not like it, though his uncle wouldn't be that pleased and he would scream at Kanda. But when he felt the squeeze on his hand and the look and nod of gratitude he knew that he like it and Allen couldn't be more happier about it. "I'm glad that you like it. Now we can talk as much as you like."

Kanda nods. He took Allen to seat on the mats.   
“First of all, we should talk about what happened during the time I was captured by the noahs.” Kanda said. “The noahs who capture me goes by the name of Sheryl Camelot and Tyki Mikk. From what they have said, they seem to be aware about our relationship. The next noah I got acquainted to is none other than the Millennium Earl and also a child called Road Camelot.” Here Kanda pause for a moment. “I was under their care for awhile. And they both show that they are possessive of you and the 14th.”

Allen was surprised when heard Kanda explanation. He wasn't stranger to Road or Tyki as he met them already. Though he didn't heard about someone called Sheryl till now. "Well I know that they want the 14th to kill him after he destroyed them many years ago. But I don't know why they might be possessive on me. Though I bet they want to kill me like my uncle. But I don't get something. If they want me or Nea. Why did they get you? "

“I don’t think they want to kill you exactly.” Kanda said slowly. “I think they want to own you, so that you can love them.” Kanda notice it. The pure desperation, greed and lust the noahs have whenever they speak of Allen. Of all of them that he encounters, only Sheryl seems to held disgust and anger whenever Allen was discussed.   
“The Earl wants 14th.” Kanda continues, “The two noahs you know seems to want you. While the last one seems intent on seeing you dead.”

Disgust appeared on Allen face as he heard Kanda explanation. It's sick to be owned by someone and forced to love someone you don't want to. Before he could say anything else a unknown voice was heard thoroug the room. "That's not all. There's other motive for the Earl and Noah to have Allen."   
After that Allen screamed as his left arm ripped from himself and passed out from the pain.   
The arm turned into Crown Clown and took a more human form, resembling Allen a little.

Kanda immediately become wary when he heard the voice. He didn’t expect for Allen to start screaming nor does he expect to see Allen’s innocence ripping away itself from Allen.  
“Allen!” Kanda immediately held the white haired exorcist in his arms. Kanda glared at the other look-alike with hostility.  
“What have you done?!” Kanda said furiously, his hand itching to activate his innocence hanging on his hips, ready to bolt as far as possible from the person in front of him.

"Don't worry about him. He just passed out from pain. Though it's better for him to not know what I would tell you now."   
Crown Clown moves closer to the boys and he dropped on his knees and brushed his fingers through Allen hair. "There other motive for The Earl obsession with Allen and Nea. The Earl is the 14th twin brother. But the two of them know him as Mana."


	21. Chapter 21

Kanda hold onto Allen tightly. The only reason he was not bolting away is because of what he had said and his careful and gentle movements to Allen. Besides, Kanda couldn’t think that he could win in a fight. Especially to an innocence who has awareness and more strength than him. Not when obviously he is still weakened by recent events. He could only grit his teeth in frustration and glowered at Allen’s look-alike.  
“Who are you?” Kanda bark. “How do you know that?”

"Now don't be so hostile. I'm not here to harm any of you. I'm Allen innocence and I know everything because as my owner calls me Crown Clown, you and the other Exorcists call me the Heart. And it's normal for me to know this info. Also I can feel that Mugen would also took human form soon. Though I don't know when it would happen."

Kanda look at the human like innocence with wary. This is the first time he had seen an aware innocence and his impression about him has already sank down to the dark ocean.  
Not only it has hurt Allen with this stunt, the innocence also had the gall to calm them down.  
And where is the 14th? From what he had seen, the man must have noticed by now the events happening isn’t it?   
Kanda curse..

"Oi. Don't curse."  
Nea appeared on the window with his arms crossed and an annoying expression on his face because Kanda cursed in Allen presence. Even though Allen was unconscious, he still wasn't pleased." And so you could know that Crown Clown is right. I've heard everything he spoke and every words are the pure true. "

“And do you expect me to believe you.” Kanda snap at Neah. Who will scold about cursing when something currently important is happening. Then suddenly Kanda comprehend what Neah said to him.   
This noah trust the innocence that much. No it is not trust, Kanda thought . It was just an understanding between a noah and an innocence after many fights over their nature. They after all have the same host.  
This is an unexpected development.

"I would return now. And when I do Allen would soon woke up. And remember. Don't tell him about Mana being the Earl. "  
After he said that Crown Clown turned back into Allen left arm and attached to the boy body.   
Allen groaned as he started to come around and he was feeling confused because now he was talking with Kanda and he heard a strange voice, and pain then nothing. And now he was waking up from unconsciousness. He hoped that Kanda was alright. When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Kanda face and the next thing he spoke was. "Kanda. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Kanda waved away the question. Instead, he examines Allen, especially the left arm. There are no signs of visible wounds. The arm that has been ripped from the body is miraculously restored to it's former state. After examining it a for a few more minutes, Kanda let it go with a small sigh.  
He turns back to Allen. "Have you known, that just earlier you're innocence turn into a human form with almost all the same characteristics as yours? The funny thing is that both your innocence and noah is at least tolerant to each others."

Allen eyes widened and he raised in sitting position because the words Kanda spoke were completely unbelievable. And not about his innocence and Nea trusting each other. But about his innocence taking human form. "Are you sure that you are alright Kanda?" he asked touching the Japanese forehead, in search for a fever. "No offense. But this is the most craziest thing I've ever heard."

Kanda glares at Allen. "Would I lie to you for something as serious as this?"  
Though he doesn't show it, he is a little bit hurt Allen's doubt. After all, Kanda isn't the type to joke nor lie at all. The beansprout knows it better than most. However, he couldn't really fault Allen for doubting it at the same time. Despite many researches about innocences, there are still many mysterious things about it. Even the science department continues to scratch their heads because they have no clue about the innocences except for mere bases.

"I'm sorry", Allen said guilty as he took his hand of Kanda forehead. "It's just that this thing sounds very unbelievable and hard to believe. I didn't wanted to make you crazy or hurt you."   
Because even though Allen didn't have the ability to feel emotions he knew that he hurt the older boy with his statement.

Kanda pursed his lips, but didn't say anything. He merely nods. He then began to stand up, just noticing that the noah earlier was gone. Kanda help the white haired boy stand up and ask, "Where is your room? We'll rest there for now."   
Kanda then look at Allen. "We'll continue our talk tomorrow."

"My room is the next beside yours", Allen said standing up with Kanda help and nodding at his next words. Walking back upstairs Allen glanced back towards Kanda, before he walked in his room.   
Arriving in his room, Allen leaned against the door after he closed it. His room was like Kanda. The only difference was his walls, that were cream colored with circus patterns and his couch and armchair that were bloody red colored.

Kanda walk inside the room, helping Allen walk in. Coming to the bedroom, he gently set down Allen into the bed. He rummages inside the cabinets for clothes and throw it on the bed, nearby to Allen.  
"Change your clothes." Kanda said. Though they were inside the house this whole time, they still manage to dirty their clothes due to recent events earlier.  
"I'll change my clothes next room." Kanda said. "I'll be back."

Allen blinked a couple of times at Kanda gesture and he felt a little guilty that he was depending on the older boy as well. Rubbing his eyes as he felt tired Allen took the fresh clothes and changed into them. He threw the dirty one in the bathroom basket and he layed in the bed. He wondered if he should wait for Kanda returns or to just go to sleep.

Kanda walk into his room. Somehow, he felt a bit reluctant to part away from Allen, even though it will be just for a little time. It is ridiculous. But maybe, not as ridiculous as he thought. After all, Allen did get hurt earlier, because of the innocence. Truthfully, Kanda doesn't know what to make with that innocence. It just come out of nowhere and though Kanda is a bit grateful that the innocence has given him some answers, the price of that answer isn't really worth it. Allen fainting because of pain is not truly worth it. What could be the true reason why the innocence just now decided to humanize itself? And the other question is, do the innocence says the truth over the earl? The 14th twin. Why did the innocence ask him to keep it a secret from Allen? Kanda sighs and immediately change his clothes instead and speed walk into Allen's room. He will deal with this tomorrow.

Allen was glancing on the window from his spot on the window thinking at the earlier events. Even though it's was true it's was extremely strange. Rubbing his eyes he closed his eyes getting tired of waiting. He didn't know how long his eyes were closed but he opened them immediately as he heard his door room. "Did you actually returned? Why aren't you resting as well?"

Kanda scowled at Allen. "Didn't I say I will return."  
He settles down into the couch, in his hand mugen and a sword cleaning kit. "Go to sleep. Tomorrow, I will explain to you what happened earlier."  
Kanda removes the sword from the scabbard and meticulously began to clean the sword quietly. It's been a while since he did this, so mugen has to be cleaned to be restored to it's former luster.  
Remembering what the odd innocence said earlier, his innocence is almost near into humanizing itself.  
Kanda's eyes narrowed as he look into the sword intently. The sword seem to glow back in response.

"Why don't you sleep as well. I think between us you are the one who needs more sleep then me."   
Allen raised in sitting position, his tiredness miraculously vanishing away as he crossed his arms and looked at Kanda waiting for an answer, ignoring the glowing of the sword.

Kanda kook at the sword and sheathe it back. It's not the right time yet. Kanda has to further develop his synchronization with his sword, possibly equal or more than that of a general before the human form of innocence could take form. But that doesn't mean mugen isn't aware. The sword after all replied when faced with scrutiny.   
Kanda then look at Allen and thought about it. While Allen repeatedly assures him earlier that this mansion will be safe from others, there is no such thing as absolute safety. It will be better if they sleep together. In that case, they could protect each other.  
That is the explanation he use to justify his reasons for sleeping with Allen in the bed in his head when in truth there are more simpler reasons why. Nonetheless, Kanda slid into the bed and sleep with Allen.

Allen was completely shocked when Kanda just climbed in the bed beside him. He never expected for him to even want to sleep besides him because he didn't do it before. Never. Though a part of him knew that the older was a little wary about the kidnapping and this new environment. So that's why he didn't told him anything and he let him sleep in his bed beside him. Allen glanced for a couple of minutes at Kanda, before laying back in the bed, with his back at Kanda, and closed his eyes and falled asleep.

Though Kanda has fallen asleep, he has woken up in the middle of the night. For some reason, he felt as if something important has changed. He quickly goes out of the bed, grabbing his sword nearby, and making sure that Allen is still asleep. He walk out of the room silently and then he began to walk quickly. Soon, the meditation room came in front and Kanda quickly enters in.   
An hour later, Kanda quickly exit the meditation room, his sword out of sight.

A woman dressed in black and red leather clothes with long black hair and features that almost resembled Kanda, though she was looking old enough to be his mother, appeared in front of him with a soft smile on her face.   
"Hello Yuu. We are finally meeting in person and we can finally talk like humans. "


	22. Chapter 22

Kanda observes his innocence. After all this time, it turns out that his sword, Mugen, is a woman. Somehow, it fits. Though the woman in front of him has a softer features than his, and she looks gently at him, it couldn't hide the strength within itself. Taking one look on it's eyes, you will see it hiding immense viciousness and deviousness. Her whole bearing radiate power and elegance.  
A dangerous individual. That is what his instincts saying to him.  
Kanda approved.  
Looking at his innocence straight to the eye, he cross his arms.   
"What do you want?"

Mugen wasn't affected by Kanda tone of voice or by his glare. Even though it's the first time she had took human from, she still knee how Kanda is when she was in her sword form.   
And despite that she couldn't help but look at him gently and softly, that only a mother would look at her son. Even though he wasn't her son.   
"I just want to see you in this form. Also I wanted to tell you that no matter what is wrong you can always trust me and you can always come to me if you want to speak about anything. "

Kanda gives a look at the innocence before turning away. "Naturally."   
This innocence is why he is still alive right now, instead of being buried 6 feet underneath the ground. It is also the reason why he was experimented, why he has to participate to this war. In other words, it is the cause of his misery. At the same time, it is also the reason why he survives until now, why he sees Allen.  
Kanda has many fixed feeling about his innocence. So in the end, he treated the innocence, neither cold nor warm.  
Besides, even Kanda himself couldn't deny that this innocence accompany him for almost his whole life. They are partners in fighting. The best he can do is give the innocence a face.

Mugen sighed softly. She knew that Kanda was a bit upset at her. Because again even though she wasn't in human form then, she could had saw and feel the pain that her owner had gone through.   
"I know that you must be mad or upset at me. And I don't blame you or hold grudge. Like I said if you want you can always talk to me about anything. "  
And after she said that she turned back into her sword form and landed on the ground without any noise.

Kanda picked up the sword and sheathe it back to his scabbard. As for what the innocence said, only time will tell whether he will warm up to it or not. He then immediately go to Allen's room. There he sees Allen still asleep. The beansprout must have been exhausted earlier that he sleep so deeply now.   
Kanda sits at the sofa. Though, it is still at the middle of the night, Kanda couldn't sleep anymore. Many thoughts are plaguing his mind. So right now he just decided to guard Allen till morning came.

Close to the morning though Allen didn't really know what time really was. But he had a feeling that it must be early in the morning. The younger boy moved a little in the bed and stopped when he didn't feel Kanda body besides him and froze because he didn't know where Kanda was. So he immediately jumped in sitting position panicked. But he calmed down when he saw that Kanda was sleeping on the couch. He ignored the slight ache, as Kanda decided to sleep on the sofa instead of beside him, and he got up from the bed and covered Kanda with a blanket. And as softly as he could he began to stroke the Japanese black hair gently.

Kanda felt someone stroke his hair. When he opens his eyes, he sees Allen. Then he sees the blanket covering him. This beansprout is really caring. So he quickly stands up and examines the beansprout. Looking at Allen, the bags have slightly receded and his complexion is a bit better than yesterday. Allen is looking better now.   
Now that his worries has been assuaged, Kanda realize just how long and awkward he has been staring and holding at Allen. He suddenly coughs out and look away. Desperately trying to find a distraction, he spoke to Allen.  
"You look healthier now." Kanda said.

Allen sighed as Kanda changed the subject. Of course he would do that. And he would feel awkward in his presence. Because apparently he was listening the words of an Noah instead of his or his heart. Because he really thought that their little moments from the Inn were not true and there weren't Kanda true emotions.   
So he tried to push that though back and speak like always. "Yeah. I slept well last night. What about you? How are you feeling?"

Kanda sees Allen's face flickers at disappointment. It was so fast that if Kanda hasn't been paying extra attention, he wouldn't have seen it. He let go of Allen's hand.  
"My innocence has evolved." Kanda said to Allen after a moment. "It seems that your innocence is correct. Mugen manage to take humanoid form earlier."

Allen was really surprised when he heard that. Kanda was really lucky that he saw both innocence human form. But seeing how Kanda life had been helf this past three weeks, from Allen point of view, he was deserving some luck or good things to happen as well.   
"So? How does it look? Have you spoken with it? "

Kanda hum in agreement. He closes his eyes as he tried to remember how his innocence looked.  
"It's a woman." Kanda finally said. "It is older than me." Kanda then quickly added, "It looks like me just like how your innocence look like you."  
Then Kanda look at his sword and smirk a bit. "She's very dangerous."  
"I have spoken to her earlier." Kanda said, a frown forming between his froehead, "It is like General Tiedoll."

Allen listened carefully Kanda words. He was a bit surprised when he heard that Mugen is a woman and she looks like Kanda. He never imagined how Kanda would look like a woman. Despite his long girly hair. "Huh? Like General Tiedoll?" Allen thought for a bit why Kanda said that. Then seconds later he figured and looked at the Japanese with wide eyes. "Don't tell me that she runs after you and call you her adorable baby boy, like the General does."

Kanda shuddered look at Allen with a disturbed face.  
"If my innocence turn out like that, I'd rather cut my hair short." Kanda said curtly. He doesn't want another General Tiedoll chasing after him, mothering him, telling him to call them 'papa' or in this case 'mama'. Though Kanda respected General Tiedoll as a general, he find it hard to respect the man as an adult. Those kind of adults usually made Kanda question reality and if sanity ever existed at all.

Allen chuckled as he saw Kanda look on his face and heard his words. Yet he knew that despite that Kanda would cut his hair. He like his hair so to the point of killing almost everyone who touch it. Well at least this short moment, had helped Allen to forget a little about their awkward relationship.   
"I think I would found it cute. It would be great for you to have a person who acts like a mom towards you. "

However, Kanda find it detestable. It's not that he never wanted a parent or an adult role model. It just that he find it a waste for him. Why do people need to mother/father a person who has become an adult already? He could never accept someone as a parent. Maybe a responsible adult, he will be more inclined to accept. Unfortunately, as far as Kanda lives, he rarely meets a mature, responsible adult.   
"I think it would be better if Mugen mothers you instead of me." Kanda smirks. "You are still a Moyashi after all."

"I found it really impossible. It's your innocence after all." Allen didn't even reacted to Kanda mean word. He already got used with him calling him Moyashi.   
Though he found really impossible Kanda statement because he doesn't have any bond with Kanda innocence. No matter how mothering the woman might be. Plus it's not like Allen would want it anymore. He already had a father that had died because of him. He doesn't need another parent figure to die because of him.

Kanda didn't think it was impossible though. Allen after all has the heart innocence. Surely, Mugen would at least respect the wielder of Heart.  
Suddenly, Kanda's eyes widen. WIth everything that has happened, he almost forgot to tell Allen about what happen yesterday.  
"Allen." Kanda said with a tight voice. "Your innocence told me yesterday that the others call him Heart."

Allen eyes widened and he actually had become frozen and speechless as he heard that. He found this a bit impossible. But if this was true then why his innocence hadn't revealed himself from the beginning of being the Heart. Saving them for a lot of pain and suffering.  
And yet it's was slightly possible because his innocence had always acted by itself without him wanting or being unconscious. He even protected him and covered the hole from his heart.   
"I don't completely believe that. Only half because of my innocence protected me by itself to the point where he covered the hole from my heart. But hadn't Hevlaska supposed to feel it?"

"Supposedly, Hevlaska should have been able to feel that you have the Heart." Kanda said in agreement. "That is if in the first place, Hevlaska has the ability to do so."  
If Kanda remembers it correct, many new people who have met Hevlaska has assumed as well that she can feels the heart. In actuality, Hevlaska true ability is to know the synchronization between the wielder and the innocence. She was also the holder of the Cube and the prophet of Order. Within herself, she can hold and protect the innocences. It has never been said that she can feel the heart.   
Or maybe it was completely because of another reason.

Allen could gave Kanda words right because no one said, neither her, that she can feel the Heart. Though after he found the truth about his left hand, he started to hate it a little, right now he couldn't help but hate it more because he didn't reveled itself sooner. Maybe like this, they would have saved many lives from dying and he would have lured the Akuma and Noah to him, and would have stopped the chase after the Generals.   
"Had he told you anything else important? "

Kanda look at Allen seriously. "Your noah, the 14th, is the twin of the Earl."  
Kanda actually doesn't know how to react at all when he processed this. When he was at the Order, he never learn any information about the noahs nor did he try to learn about them. The only thing he learns are summaries of every noah's power encountered. Anything that is connected to Allen is also kept under wraps with only few and mostly wrong information leaking out. The one information he is sure is that Allen could control the Ark. The one that issued by the central is that Allen has the possibility to become a noah.  
Currently, he has no opinion of noahs except that for him they are enemies of his. However, this is not the same for Allen.


	23. Chapter 23

Allen was completely shocked when he heard that. His breathing even picked speed. It's isn't true. That was repeating in his mind. Because if that was really true then the Earl is Mana. But Mana is dead. But.. Allen couldn't process anything right now, he even stumbled back and falled on the ground. If it's was really true, then he couldn't believe what his father was truly was.

"Kanda!! " Nea shouted angrily as he appeared on the bedroom window." Crown Clown had specifically told you to not tell Allen the truth about the Earl."

Kanda glares at the noah who suddenly appeared.  
"The innocence told me not to say that the Earl is Mana. He didn't prohibit me from saying that you are the Earl's twin."  
He then bent down and grab Moyashi up. He hugs the Moyashi protectively.  
Kanda then snorts at the angry noah.  
"Even if you did prohibited me from saying it, I would still tell Allen." Kanda said with a glare. "I would never lie to him. Not for something that is important to him."  
"And tell me, even if I lied today, wouldn't Allen still discover it in the future?" Kanda growls at the noah. "By lying, I would have broken his trust from him. As a possible lover, I would fail him."  
"And if I did not say anything, when will Allen learn about it?" Kanda mocks. "In the middle of the battle, completely attacked by all sides, even by the person he trust the most?"  
"Don't make me laugh." Kanda sneered coldly at the noah. "To me Allen is my most important person. I would protect him from all his enemies, even from the lies and secrets you said and kept!"

Allen heard Kanda words and he was greatful that he wanted to protect him and he doesn't want to hide anything from him. Or lie to him. But he couldn't spoke back or even move because he was still processing that Mana was the Earl.

"It's the same thing as you said that I'm the Earl twin. Especially when Allen already knew that I'm Mana brother and his uncle. And I'm greatful that you want to keep my nephew safe. But some things are meant to be kept secret. Like this one. You didn't though what reaction could Allen have if he would know before you spoke it? "

"It is exactly because for that reason that I tell Allen the truth." Kanda said. "I don't know exactly what his reaction will be. However no matter what happen, I would not leave him. There is no better time than now to come clean. In this place where he is safe from the Order and the Earl, I could support him and help him overcome this."  
Just like he did to me before, went unsaid.

Nea glared at Kanda for a little while and he looked at his nephew worriedly before he disappeared in the Ark without saying anything. For his own safety he hope that he would help his nephew overcome this thing, or he would not hesitate to hurt the Japanese. No matter how Allen would think about this.

Allen could feel the warm and protective hug of his Kanda. But despite that, he still couldn't urge himself to make any moves or speak.

Kanda set Allen down in the bed. Despite not being a psychologist, it is obvious to Kanda that something is wrong with Allen and it has to do with Mana. Though Kanda only heard it from second sources, even he knows that Mana is Allen's father before he died in an accident. Not only that but Allen has to kill the father he made into an akuma. So Kanda carefully cradle Allen into his chest.  
"Let it out Moyashi." Kanda said. "Scream if you want, Deny it if you can't believe it. No matter what, I will listen and be for you."

Allen doesn't have a motive to scream or deny. Especially since Kanda wouldn't tell him anything, that it's wasn't the truth, that would hurt. Plus he heard Nea voice and his words as well. And he definitely couldn't deny it. But instead of that he cried. Or more likely he sobbed heartbroken.

Kanda sighed. The beansprout is really unlucky. It is as if the world focus the most devastating events to Allen so that he can experience it all by himself. But that's all it really is, isn't it. The world is an unfair place. Peace, truth, and justice has rarely place on it. Only the strong could build it and protect it from their enemies. After all those concepts wouldn't exist if there is no one who would act of it.  
Though Kanda doesn't know everything about Allen's past, Kanda could glimmer what has happened. In another words, Allen has a shitty past.  
So he would comfort his Moyashi, and after that he would be with Allen to get stronger. Strong enough, that they, he could protect them. Kanda hugs Allen and never let go.

Even too he stopped sobbing a few minutes later, some tears were still falling on his face and his breathing was still heavy. But the worst that his heart was hurting him badly. Allen managed to find strength enough to wrap his own arms around Kanda. And he was greatful for his support and comfort. He could swear that he was hearing a soft purr from inside him and something was telling him that is his innocence that was trying to comfort him as well.  
But despite the comfort he received he couldn't but still be pained. Because the person who trusted the most. The person was his father. Had lied to him all his life and fake his own death only to turn and kill him.

Seeing Allen pained, Kanda decided to comfort him by his other methods. Methods that were used to him by General Tiedoll. Not that it work to him.  
So he began to tell his story to Allen. That he was a 2nd exorcist experiment. That there were originally two of them. About the girl in his dreams. That in the end, he has to kill his companion. Kanda then tell his motives of being an exorcist. And how he learned about that boy and girl being the same.  
"In essence, both of us killed our precious person, the only difference is yours is still alive.." Kanda said with a tight line. "However, I would like to ask you truthfully, do you think Mana is really the Earl?"

Allen listened carefully to Kanda words and he couldn't believe what he heard. He also couldn't believe the suffering that he had gone through. Now he knew why he acts so guarded and cold all the time. But even though his body was artificial, that doesn't mean that is not human. Because is very much one.  
"I'm sorry that you had gone through so much in the past. And I promise that I would not let you suffer anymore ", he said tightening his arms around him." And I don't know what to think about the Earl. I don't want to believe that is Mana. But if Crown Clown told you that and at my uncle reaction after you said, it's impossible to not think that it's true after all. "

"I disagree." Kanda said."Even if they are the same person, do you think that the Mana you love would seriously do this to you. That the father you love would trick you into thinking him dead and summoning him as an akuma. In fact, didn't you tell it yourself. You summoned him as an akuma. How could that happen in the first place? And even if he was alive all this time, why is it he cannot even recognize you?"  
"I think there is something more to it than we know." Kanda said.

Allen listened carefully to Kanda words and he couldn't be but agree with him. Mana wouldn't have done something like this. But if he is the Earl, then he could have easily manipulated a soul to pretend that is someone else. Plus he couldn't take Nea reaction from his mind, after Kanda told him that. "I don't know what to think anymore."

"Don't think then." Kanda said. "After all, we truly do not know what happened 35 years ago. In the first place, the only facts we know is that the 14th is the Earl's twin, the Earl is Mana. What happened between that time was kept in dark. Probably, the only one who kows what happened are the Earl, the bookmen, and Neah himself. "  
"Unless, that uncle of yours would tell us the truth," Kanda said, "you will have to ask others about it?"

"My uncle doesn't remember very well the events from 35 years ago because he was killed around then too. His memories are fuzzy."  
Allen explained and moved from Kanda arms and wiped at his eyes. "And we can't ask the Earl because he would kill us if we go there. And the Bookman is at the Order. And again. We will die if we go there because we are branded as traitors. And we don't have anyone else to ask. Only of course if it's happen to know a blonde guy with short hair that was from the Order on that time as well. My uncle explained that he was coming here from time to time and he was a friend with my past self. "

"You were blonde-haired before." Kanda ask, momentarily confused. "Wait! You were reincarnated."  
If Allen was reincarnated, then it means someone knows it as well. Someone who is knowledgeable and can be trusted. That someone must have helped Allen. After all, Kanda refused to believe that Allen reincarnating is simply a coincidence. Someone must have planned this. And if that someone is still alive, then possible that person could possibly help them.  
"Do you know those people?" Kanda ask.

"Yes. I'm reincarnated. And I wasn't blonde before. My hair was reddish brown. And after my uncle words that was in my past life as well. Except that it's was much longer than now. Exactly like yours is now. And I don't remember anything from then. My uncle said that I used to leave here with Mana and Nea. And we were visited by Cross, Bookman, some Noah and a short blonde guy. But he didn't tell me his name. He said that you would know him without even telling me his name. "

"A blonde-haired man?" Kanda ask in irritation. That is a too vague, He has known many man with blonde hair, both dead and alive. He isn't quite sure who among them is supposed to know the past Allen. What would they even do if this man had died already? After all, it's been 35 years now.  
"How about Cross Marian?" Kanda ask. "After all that man is still alive now, and actually may know something?"

Allen face grew dark as Kanda spoke about Cross. The man took care of him at some point. But still he wasn't to eager to go and ask him about something like this. "Cross is at the Order. It would be impossible seeing that now we are a traitors. Hopefully that person is still alive and might help us."

"Oh my God. Kanda you are so dense ", Nea said frustrated as he appeared on the bedroom window. He heard all the conversation and he couldn't believe that Kanda hadn't figured of whom they were speaking." The ex blonde guy it would be no help. And Kanda have you really forgotten how you were looking before? "

Kanda's face become dark at the moment. He really don't know who is this person they are referring to. The only blonde person of importance who he remembers before is Edgar Chang, who is dead, Bak Chang, who is too young to be a participant 35 years ago, and some finders he had work with. Maybe the inspector is blonde but he is quite sure that they are his enemies.

Allen was confused as Kanda as he heard his uncle words. Why is Nea so secretive and he doesn't tell them the name of the person. It's was clear by now that they don't know who is it.

Nea facepalmed himself when he saw that Kanda still hadn't figured of whom he was referring to. He sighed and disappeared and made a picture appear on the window. It's was a picture with a boy of Kanda age, wearing an Order uniform. His hair was short and blonde and he was looking almost like Kanda now.

Kanda looked at the picture at shock. He isn't quite sure how to feel. Somehow he feel that this boy is very familiar to him. However, he knows that was impossible. He has never seen the man in his whole life. He doesn't have a family either, after all he was an experiment. That only leaves one conclusion. And the fact that they both look alike doesn't help.

"Who is this?!" Kanda glared at the noah.

Allen looked confused at the picture as well. Mostly because in that picture was a boy that looked at Kanda. And he never expected to see this. Or for a person from 35 years ago to exist and look like Kanda.

The picture from the window disappeared and was replaced by Nea reflection. "That's was you. From your past life. From 35 years ago and before you became like this 9 years ago."


	24. Chapter 24

Kanda glares at the picture as if he was offended. For some reason, he felt that the he is a carbon copy of this man. That doesn't make him happy. They look too alike and it seems that they have the same personality. He especially hated the blonde hair. It is curious though that he was a half-breed japanese.   
Back going to the main matter, the fact is that Kanda was reincarnated. If he was the blonde haired man, then he would be of no help, especially as he has no memories of past. Of the memories he remembers, they are very misty-like and too vague to know what's going on.  
"If I was that person, how do you expect me to help?" Kanda growled in irritation. "I don't have memories of past."

"I don't expect you to help somehow with the past problem. I already told you that the blonde guy would no be of any help. Then. But you can help now. Though I suggest you to not do anything stupid and to remember about your past. Allen is my responsibility once I become like this. And once my nephew brought you here you had become my responsibility as well. Like it or not. "

Allen listened carefully Nea words and he was a bit disappointed when he found out that they would not have any help. But he was more surprised when he founded that the blonde boy was Kanda. Something that he was worried about when he saw the older boy expression and iritation. He only hope that Kanda wouldn't be to greatly affected about this news.

Kanda's eyebrows twitch in irritation. In truth, he was tempted to slice the noah. Why do this man have to lead them in circle that in the end would result to no help?! Nevertheless, he restrained himself. It would not be good for Allen if Kanda actually tried to kill his still alive and still somewhat sane uncle.  
However, that doesn't change the fact that their only small lead turn to steam before they can even hatch a plan. Sure, Kanda could tried to force his memories back, but he doesn't want to end up like Alma. He refused to force Allen to kill him. That only leaves them with limited choices.   
"What do you want to do for now?" Kanda ask.

"I don't know. I still need to think if I should believe that Mana is the Earl or not ", Allen said as he looked at his uncle hopping somehow that the man would have a knew something about this.

" Well. I don't know how Mana was looking now or years ago when you were younger Allen. But I know how the Earl look without his Clown suit. "

Allen was surprised because he never expected for that to be a suit. He thought that's how the Earl was truly looking. But his eyes widened when he saw another picture on the window. Of a man in his late forty or early fifty with short black hair and slightly dark skin. "He's him. He's Mana."

Kanda follows the conversation between the nephew and the uncle. While not as surprised as Allen, he is still shocked when he learned that the Earl they were fighting is hiding in a suit. And then Neah have to show the picture.  
It was a shock to him to see a perfectly normal looking man. One would never have expected this man to be the Earl, even if they met him in the road. Kanda can see though, the madness behind the calm eyes of the Noah. So this was the Earl and also Allen's father.  
His thoughts were only further confirmed when he heard what Allen said. He immediately move closer to Allen, to hold him, so that he can prevent the Moyashi from falling out of shock.  
Ah. This is not good.

At the beginning despite his heartbreak he didn't wanted to believe that Mana was truly the Earl. But after he saw the picture he couldn't even negate the truth. He didn't even cares that the Earl is Mana. All he cares is because he was betrayed by the man who took him when he was little. All his love for the man that was like his father had shattered immediately. He felt Kanda arms around him once more but he was to shocked to have a proper reaction. Except for his picked up breathe.

Kanda glares at the picture and the noah. He told to the noah to immediately put away the picture. Right now they have to focus on calming Allen again from hyperventilating. Kanda leads Allen into the sofa and let him sit down. He also pour a glass of water for Allen. (It seems that the noah prepares it for advance.) Giving the glass of water to Allen, he observes how Allen is. To further comfort Allen, he also holds Allen in his arms, gently but never letting go.

Allen didn't even payed attention that Nea had took the picture away. It doesn't matter to him anymore now that he knows the truth about the Earl. And when he took the cup or water, the only thing he manages to do is choke from the few sips that he took from it. So he opted on leaning against Kanda and to accept the comfort that the Japanese boy is offering as he tried to control and calm his breathing in the same time.

When he sees how Allen is only sitting and not reacting much, Kanda began to calmly stroke Allen's head. For now, Kanda knew that Allen wouldn't snap out of reverie until he is ready. So for now, Kanda will be there for Allen, holding him, comforting, until Allen is ready to face the world again.   
Time passes. From early morning, it seems that night would soon come  
He sees the noah bring snacks from time to time to their room and Kanda will do his best to feed Allen some of those snacks to be eaten.

Allen didn't cared that the time flayed away so fast without him even knowing because he was in to much sock to even move. At least he managed to control his breathing and he didn't suffered from hyperventilation. Because that's was the last thing he wanted to make Kanda help him with. And because he didn't wanted for to worry the Japanese boy more than he already was he urged to eat the snacks without making any fuss about not wanting to eat or not being hugry.   
"I'm sorry ", he spoke at some point." Because I forced you to stay here when you could have used the day to do whatever you wanted. Being training or meditating. "

"Che." Kanda clucked his tongue in irritation. "Don't be sorry. I did this because I want too, not because you force me. After all, no one can force me to follow someone's orders."  
Kanda looks at Allen. He could still see the tiredness, and betrayal lingering, haunting in Moyashi's eyes. It seems that the beansprout still hasn't recovered yet and need more time. At least, he seems to be more aware now and can talk now.  
"Rest, Moyashi." Kanda said. "I'll be here."

Allen knew that he should be grateful for Kanda. And he is. For real. Because the Japanese had preferred to stay with him. Plus it's not like he would have been alone. Nea would have stayed with him. But he let it be and offered Kanda a small tired smile. And he didn't know if he was tired. Or he felt like doing it. It doesn't matter. Allen leaned and kissed Kanda cheek in sign of gratitude before he stood up and moved to his bed where he throwed himself on.

Kanda freeze in shock when he felt Allen kissed his cheeks. For a moment, his brain short-circuit. When it come back to life, his face is already blushing so hard. Fortunately, it seems that Allen was already resting, and no one else has seen him, well except for that golden golem.  
The kiss lingered at his cheek and Kanda was half-tempted to touch it, even if just for a moment. He quickly kill that thought with a slash. To calm himself, Kanda decided to lightly meditate. When Allen wakes up again, Kanda would be there for him.


	25. Chapter 25

Normally Allen would have accepted this dreams with a smile on his face. The dreams where he can see his life with Mana once more. The time from were he had met him and took him in. But there was without the dying part. Because in his dreams Mana wasn't killed. No that he was in the real life as well. Because apparently he is alive and is evil. But now this dreams are just making him tear up. Because even though he was asleep he could still feel the wetness on his cheeks. And that's why he brushed his face on the pillow. To get rid of them.

Meditating slightly, Kanda could feel the room. As time pass away, he hears Allen's breathe more deeply and sags his body in the bed. While Kanda was meditating, he could feel his stress fly away. Then he heard some shuffling of blankets, followed soon by quiet sobs, and another shuffling of blankets.  
Kanda snap awake. He goes to Allen only to see the boy looking sad and in agony. It seems that the moyashi has waken up from a nightmare. Kanda fetch a glass of water for Allen. He gave it to the boy.  
"What happened?" Kanda whispers, slowly hugging the albino.

Allen was more aware then he was yesterday so he managed to curse himself in his head for making obviously to Kanda that something was wrong. And when he thought that he had been as quietly as possible. He doesn't want to worry the Japanese boy even more then he already was and to ad even more stress to his already existent one. So he drank the water and pressed his forehead against Kanda chest. "It's wasn't a nightmare if that's what you thought. I dreamed about my time with Mana. Normally this dreams are making me happy. But not anymore."

Kanda look at Allen. Not only Allen did not improve, he got even worse. Eyebags, fatigue body, hunched shoulders, and sadness lingering on his face. It's obvious that Allen was not okay. Well there was only one way to get over this with. To talk.  
"Why does it not make you happy?" Kanda ask. "Mana may be the Earl but do you think that it is the Earl is Mana in your memories? I'm not telling you to hope that Mana isn't the Earl. I'm just telling you that the time you spent with Mana that time is genuine. After all maybe the Earl wasn't Mana that time yet."

Allen smiled softly, but he knew that Kanda couldn't see it because his face was still on his chest. He knew what the Japanese was trying to do and he was even more grateful for that.   
"Truly speaking. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know if that moments were meaning or not. If Mana was the Earl from the beginning or not. If he truly loved me or he pretend because I was the 14th host. So that's why I don't know if I should be happy or not anymore about that years spent with him. "

"Maybe he is, maybe not." Kanda said. "In the end, after all you and that person are the only who will be the judge of it."  
Kanda began to stroke Allen's head. "But you know after all of that happen, I can tell you this truthfully. Everything you have experienced in order, whether by the scientist or the exorcists, they are all real."  
"The happiness, sadness, camaraderie you felt that time, was real." Kanda said, hugging the boy closer. "So maybe your other memories are full of lies, but your memories with us are true."

If he would say that he wasn't surprised by Kanda words, then it would be a lie. Because Allen was very surprised and touched by his deep words. And if someone would have told him months ago that Kanda would speak such words instead of his threatening words, then he would think that the person is insane. Till now. "You are right. Maybe that moments with Mana were fake and he took me because of 14th. But my moments from the Order weren't. Thank you", Allen said as he hugged Kanda back. Tightly.

Kanda grunt in embarrassment. Usually people were so scared of his scowl and frowns, most of them never tried to talk to him more than insults and challenges, much less a sincere conversation. No one thank him out of gratitude because he talks with them. This is only one of the few times that he receive a thank you so deeply honest.   
The most honest, if Kanda has to say about it.  
So Kanda hugs back, no less tightly.

When Allen heard Kanda grunt, he hoped that it's wasn't from annoyance. And he was glad to know that it's wasn't as he still felt Kanda arms around him. Something that in the past, like his words, would never expected to feel.   
And even though he never wanted to move away from them, because Kanda arms are so comfortable and warm, Allen remembered about his talk with their relationship. And he doesn't want to make Kanda more embarrassed, then he was already, or make him uncomfortable. So after a few minutes, Allen moved away extremely hesitant.

Kanda felt a bit strangely discontented. It's like a prick in his heart that wouldn't go away when Allen move away hesitantly. In the end, he knew it was because his request to go slower. So he let Allen move away. Instead Kanda grabs Allen's hand and doesn't let go. He pull Allen up from the bed and pull him.   
"Stop sleeping for now." Kanda said. "An exercise may be good for you instead."   
He pulls Allen outside the room to walk. "Where is your training room here again?"

Allen was surprised when Kanda took his hand. And he was not going to sleep anyway. Even if he would have wanted to. He wasn't tired anymore.   
"Huh. There's no training room here. There was no point in being one. This mansion has 18 more bedrooms beside ours,kitchen, living room, lounge, medical ward, ball room, balcony, library, the empty room that I turned it in your meditation room and garden. And of course basement and attic. Oh and there's my uncle laboratory. "

"Uncle's laboratory?" Kanda echoes back. Now that he remembers back, he never did finish seeing the whole mansion, did he. While the mansion is nowhere even as large as the Order, he couldn't help but be bemused by one factor. What would they use for the other extra bedrooms?  
Kanda shook his head. It doesn't matter. If they need another kind of room, they would just have to repurpose the existing bedrooms. On to more serious matter, the noah's lab and the training room.  
"What does the Noah do in those lab." Kanda ask. "Where will we even train, if we are going to stay here?"

"Apparently my uncle is scientists. Always was. He told me that 35 years ago him and Cross had created Tim there. And don't worry Nea is not as crazy as Komui. He would not start building death machines or other weirds things. He use it to create medicine that actually works. And the only crazy thing there is a serum called Neko or something. Anyway. For training we can use the ball room. Because it's huge and. Well. Useless to have it. Or we can use the garden. Because it's also huge. But we don't need to step on the flowers. "

Kanda twitch in surprise when he heard a japanese word. That..... Was that suppose to be the name of the medicine? Somehow, Kanda really got a bad feeling about that medicine. Thankfully, Kanda has his regeneration. He hopes he won't use that medicine. Looking at Allen, it seems that he is oblivious about it. He wants to warn Allen but maybe he is actually wrong. And that would just lead to many complications. Besides, he is also a bit curious.   
"Outside it is." Kanda said.

Come to think of it, after he said that, Allen was wondering why there is a serum that is called Neko in his uncle lab if he only produces medicine. Shaking his head, Allen guided Kanda, holding him by his hand, towards the garden. Like he said, the garden was huge with green grass and a multitude of flowers and fruit trees. Or just plain trees.

"Huh." Kanda look around. It was a large garden, with a large clearing in the middle. No doubt after they use this, the ground will be gouged out, the flowers all over the garden, and the trees broken. Kanda could see a lone twisted tree. It was so far away from them, it looks alone.  
Kanda look away from it and look more around his surrounding. The mansion looks like a typical mansion one can see in rural areas.   
"Are we safe here?" Kanda ask. "Wouldn't the akuma sense you by now?"

Allen sighed at Kanda question and he wished just for once that Kanda would think about himself more, then him. "We are not going to be sensed or founded. The mansion is protected by Nea charms that are making it invisible. No one can see this from outside, or see us, if Nea doesn't have permission for the respective person. At this point this is the most safest place possible. "

Kanda nods at that statement, satisfied. They would be safe at the moment. He has no delusions though that it will last long enough. After all, they couldn't hid here forever.   
"How about we spar after warming up." Kanda suggested. "We need to see how our bodies right now."  
After all, it's been many days since they move. Their body must have degraded a bit. They would have to build back their body again.

"Alright. Let's do this. "  
Allen knew that him and Kanda wouldn't leave this place for sometime, until Nea agrees that it's safe for them to resume their Akuma hunt, without the orders from the Order. But that doesn't mean that they could not warm up or spare. Since Allen hadn't done, neither his morning routine after Kanda was took and he knew that he must be a little rusty. But his grate worry is Kanda who was tortured for three weeks. Sure the Japanese healed himself. But that doesn't mean that they can't be problems.

Kanda slowly began to warm up. He winced when he feels how his body and bones creak as he warms up. Though it was not as worst as he thought it will be, it is still definitely bad. Now that he finished recuperating from his wounds, he suppose he should focus now in strengthening his body. He definitely should create a training plan for him to get stronger.  
Somehow, Kanda felt his stamina drop much more than he expects. He is surprisingly easy to be tired. Ah, the probable reason for that might be because of his regeneration. He would have to eat more calorie-packed food from now on.   
An hour passed away. The time for warming up has come to stop. Kanda swipe the little sweat he accumulated.

"Are you sure that you want to train now? "Allen asked after the warm up hour. His mind had wiped out any sadness and heartbreak and had replaced it with worry for Kanda. Especially since he heard him wince, he heard his bones and body crack time to time and he saw his difficulty in just warming up. Something that is definitely unusual for Kanda.   
"You know that we are not going to leave from this place to soon. So there's no rush on training, exercising a little. Yes. But training or sparing. No. Plus I know that even with your enhanced healing ability and Nea help, your body isn't one hundred percent healed. "

Kanda nods at Allen. Though it may not be obvious, Kanda has done this several time before. Being an exorcist does that to you. Every now and then, you just have to receive a large injury, and sometimes even fatal ones.  
Though, he was detained longer than he thought when he was tortured it wasn't any different form before anyway. He will just have to work his way up again. Besides it would be better for him to start earlier. What he is more worried about is Allen.  
"How about your warm-up?" Kanda ask.

Allen sighed as he heard Kanda words and he could literally detect worry in his voice. It's seems that Kanda is not as cold hearted as everyone thought. Especially since that he care about him more, then himself.   
"I'm a bit rusty since I didn't warmed up or trained for a long time as you. But my bones and body didn't cracked. And please I begging you, just stop worry about me and start worry about yourself as well. Do you want me to begging you in my knees to do that? Because I will. "

Kanda was surprised to see Allen do that. Though he was touched, he absolutely does not like anyone to kneel down and beg for him to stop. And right now, he was kind of infuriated about what Allen says. Yes, he has become weak, but that doesn't mean he couldn't fight back. Fortunately, they couldn't stop now. Even if Kanda has gained some insight on how bad his body now, he still isn't 100% sure how much is training is needed to improve his body. A spar would show him how far he is. Besides, it won't be too dangerous. They would simple have to push past their limits but not to the point of breaking.  
This would be simply breaking two birds with one stone. He would spar with Allen with a hellish drive and find out his body's condition. He couldn't absolutely let Allen back down.  
"If you are that worried, just put some rules down." Kanda glares at Allen.

Allen was surprised when he saw Kanda glare and he heard his anger from his voice. He literally looked at him wide eyes because he never expected for Kanda to get angry at his words. He knew that the Japanese doesn't like to be called weak or something. But he didn't tell him this with an intent of hurt.   
"Fine. Than do whatever you want to. Sorry for worrying about you ", Allen said as he turned around and walked back inside the mansion.

It was kind of funny that what Moyashi said contradicts with what he does. Beg, he said. Kneel down, he said. However, Kanda couldn't afford to slack. If Allen wouldn't give him a helping hand, then Kanda would just have to do this on his own.  
Deep inside him, he feel himself get hurt by Allen's dismiss. Doesn't Allen know, that what he needs right now was a good spar?!  
Kanda shakes his thoughts away. His bones is creaking, and his body aches. During his warm-up, he could feel at least a fourth of his energy was used up. He would have to at least double-up his stamina, triple up his true goal. He has to strengthen his bones by hitting something hard repeatedly. Muscles could be developed as long as he continues exercising.  
It seems that he has many plans to do.

Allen felt guilty that he left Kanda like this. But he couldn't just watch the older boy destroying his body because of his stubbornness. Especially since he treated his words with anger. So to get rid of his thoughts, he walked in the kitchen and decided to cook. And he doesn't care what. Just a random eatible food, that both him and Kanda would eat at lunch and doesn't involve pasta.

During his time at Order, Kanda was thought many sword stances. That includes battojutsu, iajutsu, kendo and many more. He was also thought of fencing and other western style of sword art. However, Kanda feels better using asian styles. With those styles, he was also taught how to practice stances. Currently, that is what he is doing. A continuous rapid interchanging stances. Usually, this kind of stance where not supposed to be immediately executed, especially with his body now, but Kanda was too frustrated too care. So he stikes and slash continuously until his body get tired.

"I think that you should stop by now my boy ", Mugen spoke through her mental link with Kanda after a few hours training. She could literally feel Kanda tired body.

Allen sighed as he finished the lunch. He just made some rice with vegetables and vegetables soup, hoping that Kanda would eat something like this and he would not make a fuss about it. He also hoped that the Japanese hadn't strained himself to much. Especially with his condition.

Kanda felt his sweat drips down his face. The ache in his body feel so horrendous but Kanda has never feel so alive like he had been before. There was a hazy feeling in his head, and he just wants to continue more and more. Adrenaline pumps in to his body and Kanda revels at the feeling. It feels so free and liberating. Kanda couldn't hear anyone, the blood rushing in his ears. His heart is pounding faster than ever. Before Kanda knew it, he collapse. Before the sleep claims him, he realizes just now that something just went wrong.


	26. Chapter 26

Allen was shocked as he heard Nea voice in his head that told him that Kanda had collapsed in the garden and he knew that the older boy had forced his body to much. He immediately stopped the oven and he rushed outside to see his uncle kneeling besides Kanda.   
"He collapsed from exhaustion ", he told him. The albino looked worriedly at Kanda and he helped him up and brought him to his room. There he layed him in the bed and without hesitantion or embarrassed, as they are both boys, he stripped the raven haired boy of his clothes, leaving him only on a pair of underwear. Then he took a couple of wet cold rags from the bathroom and proceeded to wipe Kanda body of his sweat and accumulated heat before dressing him in something more thin.

Kanda is in a dream. He was sure of it. Because every time he tries to make sense of everything, Kanda can feel the reality unraveling more. However, Kanda doesn't care much for reality right now. What Kanda needs is to escape and to survive. Somehow, one way or another, he was back to his torture chamber, alone with the Earl and the other twisted noahs.  
Throughout this past week, Kanda has been suppressing his inner trauma. After all, there is something far more important to address over and over again. But now that he collapse, everything suddenly surge forwards. His trauma, and his insecurity about the Earl and love for Allen.  
Kanda takes a deep breathe. Be strong.

Allen was on Kanda couch and was reading a book that his uncle brought him from the library. A random one. But it wasn't matters for Allen as he didn't payed to much attention at what he was reading because he was too worried about Kanda. He even read the same page without knowing that. Half an hour later, Allen attention was draw back to Kanda when he heard him move and he thought that he woke up. But apparently it's wasn't the case. He knew that the older boy must have a nightmare and it's was pretty normal with his past situation. So Allen threw the book away and he climbed in the bed and started to pet Kanda hair, hopping that he would calm him without needing to woke him up.

The dreams continues on and on. He feels someone gently stroking his head. However, he cannot wake up. Everything is just too much. The gentle stoking felt that it had become something of a bait, a mocking, and a curse. Because everything hurts, except for that head of his. The torture never ends, and the people are countless. Kanda couldn't differentiate them from others.  
Everything just felt painful.

Allen was shocked but more worriedly because Kanda not only woke up. But his trashing had become more worse. Probably this nightmare was even worse than the one he had at the Inn that night. "Kanda. Woke up please. Is just a nightmare. Please woke up", Allen said as he started to shake Kanda shoulder.   
Then Mugen glowed and took human form, but Allen was to worried for Kanda to be shocked at her appearance.   
Mugen looked down at Kanda and touched his forehead gently before closing her eyes. Soon enough she had made Kanda woke up with a gasp, and Allen immediately hugged him tightly.

Kanda struggled against his bindings. from everything that is currently holding him back. Everything just hurts so much. His fingers began to rot, his wounds began to infect. The pain is too much. It hurts so much. so much So Much SO MUCH TOO MUCH.... then everything fades away. A jolt of energy bolts into him and Kanda grabs that desperately. Then he heard a voice. He heard Mugen.  
"Come back Kanda." the energy carried a whisper. "come back to reality. Allen is waiting."  
Kanda swallowed whole the energy and he break through everything and everywhere until he could feel himself waking up.

Allen was very greatful on Mugen as she manages to woke Kanda up, from what he thinks that is his hellish nightmare or dream. Hugging Kanda tightly against him, Allen tried everything in his power to calm him down and shooth him. Exactly like he did for him. And he didn't care about Kanda words of taking slowly. He never wants to let go of Kanda now.

Kanda wakes up, feeling someone hugging him with a tight embrace. He feels two presence by his side. However, Kanda is too tired to care. He merely shift closer to them. Under their embrace and their soothing whispers, Kanda feels safe. He feels that he would be alright. That everything would be alright soon. Soon, Kanda fell asleep once more, his time his sleep fill with dreams.

Allen sighed in relief when Kanda had calmed down and was then surprised to see him falling back asleep. But he knew that because he strained to much, he needed a lot of sleep. Especially since his beginning was plagued by nightmares. Glancing towards Mugen, he saw the woman smiling before turning back into a sword, sign that everything would be alright.   
Now, Allen didn't wanted to let go of Kanda. So he moved in bed, until he was leaning against the headboard comfortably and Kanda was leaning against his body, comfortably.

When Kanda wakes up, everything felt peaceful. His surroundings is bathed with soft sunlight and someone was beside him. Turning around curiously, he sees a sleeping white-haired moyashi. The moyashi has his brows furrowed and he looks a bit worried and irritated. As if something happened that he didn't like. Kanda began to play with moyashi's head and immediately the brow smoothened.  
Kanda sigh, now remembering what just happen before. He wince when he realizes he goes beyond. Usually, this didn't happen but addicting feeling of freedom overwhelms him too much. Not too mention that everything he kept bottle in his mind rush out and overwhelms him.  
The good thing at least is that he has manage to break his body beyond limits. It will be easier later to train.  
Kanda bet the Allen wouldn't be happy even after hearing that.

Allen tightened his arms that he was still have them wrapped around Kanda as he felt him move. But he wonder how did he manages to fall asleep and when did he falled asleep. After he felt Kanda touch on his head, he moved his eyelids a little as he started to woke up. Even though his body wanted to protest. But he needs to know if Kanda was alright. So after a few minutes he opened his eyes and looked at Kanda. After he made sure that he was alright. Well at least not shaken from the nightmare, he pushed him away from his arms, and slapped him with a glare across his face.

Kanda doesn't really know how to react. Should he be angry? Should he be grovelling for his mistake? After all, everything that Allen is feeling right now is justified. But would Kanda take that lying down? In the end, Kanda answered no to his own question. After all, everything that he did is for everyone's benefit. The stronger he would be, the better for all of them.   
"What?" Kanda snap at Allen.

Allen flinched a little as he heard Kanda snap and angry voice. But he maintains his glare. Even though he was worried about him regarding his situation and nightmare, that doesn't mean that he wasn't mad as well.   
"Are you insane? Or you just like to make worry about you? Haven't I told you not not strain yourself? And you didn't listen and did that. I almost had an fucking heart attack when I saw you lying on the ground, unconscious and sweaty, warm and breathing heavily. "

Kanda wince when he heard what Allen said. True, he made Allen worried. Even he knows, he would be angry if he sees Allen in the same situation. But, everything he does has a reason. Why can't Allen see that?!   
Kanda turns away, glaring at the other side of the room instead of looking at Allen. His hands forms into fist, clenching tightly.   
Deep down, he knows he was in the wrong. But Kanda wouldn't back down now.  
"I'm fine." Kanda said, uncaring.

Allen didn't said anything. Especially since he heard Kanda uncaring voice. Because apparently the Japanese doesn't care what happens with himself. So why should he?   
"FUCK YOU. YOU AROGANT BASTARD", Allen scremed as he threw a flower vase in his door, shattering before he left Kanda room to his own.

Kanda look at the flower vase and look at Moyashi's retreating back and che'd angrily. Right now he really needs a good bath to calm his nerves. Glaring at the shattered flower vase again, at least, it wasn't his lotus that was thrown. Kanda began to strip down and walk to the bathroom. While filling the bathtub with hot water, he turn on the shower to cool his head off.   
Dammit.

Allen locked himself in his bedroom, to make sure that Nea would not enter after he probably heard the commotion. He also closed his mental link, and like this his uncle would definitely not bother him. He was really pissed of at Kanda, because he treats himself with indiferent. He was really and arrogant Bastard and he doesn't want to deal with him anymore. He walked in his room balcony and he took a seat on the railing, letting his feet dangle outside.

When Kanda has scrubbed off the dirt in his body (which he noticed is not as much as he thought he would have) until his body is red from being scrubbed too much, he finally settle down in the tub. Kanda heave a sigh of relief. For all Kanda has tried to stay strong, it is undeniable that his current body is in a wreck. Fortunately, his regeneration could deal with the worse only leaving him shallow aches to cure with.  
As he feels muscle loose tension, Kanda also feels his mind relaxed and soon he slips into a meditative state.

Nea sighed as he heard the commotion from Kanda bedroom and he knew that the boys were arguing about what happened with the Japanese. So he let them be for a few minutes, to chill out. Half an hour later, after its was quite, Nea walked upstairs with two trays of food, that Allen made. After he saw that his nephew door was locked, he put his tray on the door front. Thankfully Kanda door room was open, so he entered and put the tray food on his table, and left, leaving the Japanese to shower or take a bath, as he heard the water.

Mugen pouted as she look at the bathroom tiles. Currently, she and Kanda was separated by a thin sheet of curtain. Earlier she observes what was happening between that boy and her dear Kanda. So when Kanda is at his most relaxed state, Mugen immediately forms into a human. Unfortunately, it was not received warmly by Kanda. In order not to get kick out, she compromise.   
But in her mind, she couldn't help but complain. After all, she was Kanda's partner and also if he allows it, a mother. What Kanda has seen, Mugen has seen long ago. So this is unfair for her.  
Meanwhile, Kanda's head began to throb in headache whenever he sees the troublesome innocence. For all that Mugen is trying to be helpful, he still couldn't see if he could really trust her.

Allen spend some time in the balcony. Just staying on the railing and watching outside in the garden. Even though that's the only thing he saw. A garden full of flowers and trees. Because of his uncle charm. Outside people can saw the mansion or them, and they can see the outside world an people. It's was pretty boring, but that's was calming him and relaxing for now. He even ignored his uncle who had come to him for whatever motive he had. He doesn't care. Right now he wants to take his mind for all the bad events that happened these days.

"You know you could talk to me." Mugen said in a motherly manner. "I know you only see me as a tool. A means for your desired ends."  
"But I could help you." Mugen said to Kanda.  
Kanda scoff. "What do you even know?"  
Mugen glared and her voice become stern. "I may be an innocence but I know more than you. I have live for thousand of years. I have experienced many things."  
"Just give me a chance." Mugen said softly. "Or you could lose him."  
"Lose him!" Kanda snarled back.  
"Yes! Because! You! Are! A! Stubborn! Fool!" Mugen said forcefully.

At some point Allen had become bored of just watching the non plain garden but boring in the same time. He moved away from the railing and balcony. After he left his room, Allen saw a tray of the food that he made. But he was to pissed of and annoyed, despite the calming moments. So he passed the tray of food and walked downstairs. He was feeling bored without Kanda, much like that time while he was captured. Well then he was more worried and scared, then bored. Shaking his head, Allen made his way towards the library to get rid of boredom.

Kanda flinch back when he heard what Mugen said. He tried to explain, to reason back but Mugen is faster than him.  
"That!" Mugen said. "That was the reason why you are in this mess now. You are so stubborn, so prideful, that you won't even listen to other's opinions!"  
"You can't even see me." Kanda barks back. "How are you so sure what I was going to do next?"  
"Because I know you." Mugen said. "More than anyone."  
It was that statement that made Kanda believes that Mugen thinks that maybe, maybe, he just have to trust Mugen.  
"I can help you." Mugen said. "I promise."  
Kanda broke down, and began to tell all his insecurities.

Arriving in the library Allen took a random book and took a seat on a maroon armchair and began to read it. And after a few minutes, he realized that he couldn't really concentrate on it, exactly like he did when he was watching over Kanda after his collapse. After a few minutes, he stood up and put the book back in its place. Walking back upstairs, Allen stopped in front of Kanda bedroom and sighed. He knew that most of it was Kanda fault. But he at least he should apologize for slapping him and shattering a flower vase. He sighed and raised a hand and knocked at his door.

Truthfully, talking to Mugen helps. It didn't solve anything and he still has many issues to tackle on, such as his trauma about the Earl, his anger issues, his inability to call for help and inability to admit mistakes of his own. However, it lightened up his burden by a lot. Admittedly, there are still more issues to tackle on but what was important for now is what Mugen said.   
"Communication is a key to a healthy relationship and will be much more better if you try to understand each other." Mugen said. "And don't ever tried to dismiss his opinion or his worry for you. Think about it, and answer seriously."  
Mugen has more advice but those were what Kanda heard the most important. So after his bath, he immediately wear clothes and take a deep breath. He walks into his room, and heard a knock. Kanda hesitantly open the door.

After he knocked at Kanda door, he waited for a couple of minutes and he saw that Kanda didn't answered Allen opted on leaving because he didn't know if Kanda was back asleep or he wanted to be alone. Anyway when he was about to leave, he heard the door opening and he took a deep breath. Once Allen saw Kanda, he started spoke. "I know that most of its your fault. But I come to apologize for slapping you and breaking the flower base. So. I'm sorry and I promise that I would never do it again."

Kanda blink at the sudden apology from Allen. Somehow, Kanda was half-amused, half-irritated, but really mostly in panic.. Moyashi, just suddenly apologized out of nowhere. What was he supposed to do?  
'Communication is the key.' a reminder came from Mugen.  
So Kanda tried to calm himself and look at Allen.  
"Come inside." he said.

Allen was surprised when he heard that but he entered without hesitantion. He was also a bit worried as he saw Kanda panicked expression. And he cursed himself a little for his soft side and easy going. But that's himself and he would never change. Ignoring his annoyance and that he was upset with him Allen asked. "Is everything alright?"

Kanda wince at Allen's expression. It seems that Allen was still mad. So why did Allen suddenly apologized to him? Kanda was tempted to ask but that wasn't supposed to be what he is doing. Right now, he should apologized to Allen. So Kanda brace for it.   
"I'm sorry." Kanda said, not meeting Allen's eyes. Instead, he looks at the lotus at his table.

Allen blinked a couple of times because he was actually surprised that Kanda apologized. He never expected for that to happen. But by now many things had happened between the two of them that he shouldn't surprise him, Kanda new and unusual antics. So with a sigh and a more soft face, Allen grabbed Kanda face, and made him look at him. "I forgive you only if promise that you wouldn't jeopardize your life anymore."

"I can't promise that." Kanda said with a grim line. "Our situation right now is ridiculously place at a tight rope. One mistake could lead us to death. We cannot run away from danger, as much as try to do so"  
"Besides, I would rather choose to sacrifice my life if that means you could live safe." Kanda said. After all, to him, Allen is important. He has already long promise to keep safe of Allen.

Allen sighed and removed his hand from Kanda face and took a seat on the couch. If Kanda is so stubborn to stop acting reckless then he would say the next things that are more harsher but necessary. "And if that would happen. If you would die then I would soon follow. Till now I kept fighting because of Mana promise. Something that I recently found out that's a bullshit. Meaning that you are the only one who can make me fight in continue. So if you die, then I would take my own life without hesitantion. "

"Che." Kanda clicked his tongue in irritation to hide how touched he is and at the same time, he was annoyed by what Allen said. While, it made him warmed that Allen lives because of him, it also tells him that Allen has grown too dependent to him. Or is this what they truly called love? Either way, Kanda didn't like it.  
"Then let's make a promise." Kanda propose.

"Alright. I promise that if you die then I'm going to kill myself." Allen said with a glare and he stood up from the couch and left Kanda room. He was more pissed and annoyed then he was before he comed there because Kanda is just a suicidal Bastard. He kicked the tray of food from his door front before entering in his room.


	27. Chapter 27

Kanda sighed and began to pace around his room. Then he heard something happen in the corridor. So he stop, and decides to follow Allen instead. Right now, more than anything, he should make Allen understand his intentions, his reasons. If they truly couldn't understand each other, then they would talk about it step by step. Soon, he reach Allen's room. He knocks first.

Allen felt extremely frustrated and annoyed. He thought that if is going to apologize then everything would return back to normal between him and Kanda. Well as normal as can be. But apparently was wrong. The albino groaned as he heard someone knocking and when he opened the door he almost brake it from hinge. "What do you want anymore?"

Kanda frowned at Allen. Just now he noticed, is this the true attitude of Allen? Allen said it before, that his calm and polite behaviour is nothing but a mask. For some reason, Kanda find it fascinating and also amusing. Allen is really a brat. Allen must be the type of person who hides from people using a tough personality.  
However, now wasn’t the time?  
Kanda immediately hit Allen in with a whack in his head.  
“Calm down.” Kanda said sternly. “I’m not finished with you.”  
Kanda then barrels on. “Just listen to me first, then you can hit me as much as you want later.”

Allen was shocked as Kanda just hit him. Yeah it would have been something normal if this would have been the old Kanda, something that he's turning into again little by little. But Kanda hadn't done this for a long while. Glaring at the Japanese Allen spited him in his face. His habits from childhood are showing again. "The hell is wrong with you? I'm not going to listen to your fucking blabbing about death and sacrifice."   
Yep his childhood attitude is showing again.

Kanda nearly rolled his eyes in frustration. Allen is really a brat. It doesn’t matter anymore if he went for a soft approach. This moyashi would definitely discard it all at the moment. So Kanda thinks and decided to do something that he thought he will never have to do in his own life for others. Something that definitely hurt his pride.  
He bows 90 degrees straight and he tries to say it sincerely, “I’m sorry I worried you.”  
Kanda could feel his pride and ego taking a hit. Ah but for the sake of both of them, he will do anything.

Allen eyes widened and he backed away from Kanda in shock. He never expected for Kanda to bow to him. That's definitely not something that Kanda would do. Allen sighed and crossed his arms as he turned with his back at Kanda. "I don't need for you to bow to me. Like I said I would forgive you, if you would stop jeopardize your life. That's all."

When he heard what Allen said, Kanda knew he was out of danger zone. Unfortunately, even he did what Allen said, nothing will return like earlier. Their relationship to each other will be damage if they did not talk. What he need to do is to immediately explain to Allen what happened.  
“Then let me explain to you why I react like that.” Kanda said. “Just try to listen why I told it like that earlier.”  
He looks at Allen hoping to convey his thoughts for this matter.

Allen had remained quiet thinking and pondering on Kanda words. After a few minutes he sighed and turned towards him. But he didn't looked at his face. He just either looked at his chest or floor. "Fine. Explain". And if he would spoke something stupid then the albino would slap him. Hard.

Finally, Kanda can stand straight from his bow. He thinks this earlier and he hopes this explanation would help them all.  
“The truth is I was worried.” Kanda said. “The reason why I tried to spar even when my body is disagreeable is because I was worried.”  
“For some reason, ever since from the mission we have, we never got to take breaks. If we are finished from one issue, then we will immediately have to focus on the next one.” Kanda explains. “Not only that, but the torture made me think I was truly helpless.”  
“When before, I was thought as one the best exorcist aside from the generals.” Kanda said, “Now, even I thought I was helpless against the earl. I couldn’t escape nor fight back. My strength is nothing but a joke for them.”  
“This made me want to get stronger but in the process I made you worry.” Kanda finished.

Allen was really taken aback by that explanation. He thought that Kanda would say some bullshit about this being his habit and he can't get rid of it. But that's.. "Look Kanda", Allen said as he looked at the older boy. "You are one of the most powerful exorcist that I know. And the whole kidnapping thing. That happened immediately without knowing. And I deeply regret that I didn't found you early. Like this you wouldn't have been tortured so much. But you are neither weak. Neither helpless. You were the only one that manages to kill a Noah by itself. But when you are confronted with the Earl itself. Then it's a totally different story. No one can face him alone. My point is that you should not feel like this. And I told you that you would be able to train. But not now. It's to soon. You need to be 100% healed. And the most important thing. You don't need to be afraid that we would be attacked by enemies. Because we wouldn't. This is the most safest place. We are safe here. You are safe. "

Kanda hummed in affirmative. “Yes, now I know I was safe. However, before I was quite worried. I was paranoid. I always feel tense.”  
“As for that promise, what I want to promise to you is actually this.” Kanda said. “I want to promise to you, that I would try to survive in this war, so that we can live in our future. Just as I will promise that to you, can you promise to me that?”

"You should not feel like this anymore. There's no point in being tense or paranoid. Nothing bad would happen. And about the promise. Yes. I promise that I would survive this war as well, no matter how long this war is, so we can be together in the future without any problems ", Allen spoke sincerely and with a small smile on his lips, happy that Kanda would fight to leave and he would not sacrifice his life anymore.

Kanda sigh in relief. Now that they have talk about their problems, not only did he feel better, he also felt a little closer to Allen.  
Feeling a little bit mischievous, he decided to tease his little moyashi. Leaning in nearer to Allen to give the pretence of observing Allen, he quickly formed his face in a mocking smirk.  
“How strange.” Kanda said. “I wonder where did that cursing brat came from?”

Allen sighed as he saw that Kanda changed the subject in what he likes to do the best. Tease him. About a subject that he's not very proud of. And he sweared that he wouldn't have acted like this before. But this situation had made Red surface once more.   
"Like I told you before. When I was kid I wasn't like this and I had a very pouty mouth. You can say that it's was my moment of being Red. But it's something normal for a person who had lived most of its life on the streets and with a shity circus. "

Kanda immediately become serious. This moyashi, was he ashamed of himself? That more than anything ticked Kanda.  
“Don’t.” Kanda said. “Don’t ever put yourself down. You may be a shity kid with an equally shity mouth. But be proud instead. After all, if your life is as shity as you said, then it was a testament of your strength that you survive until now.”  
“Besides I think I like you better that way.” Kanda said. “You were more honest even though you were bratty.”

"Look I'm not putting myself down or something. Believe me. And I'm actually impressed that you prefer to act like this. I would may or not may act like Red when I'm with you. But I'm not actually proud of my childhood. At all. Sincerely I just want to forget it and Red as well as much as you want to forget your life after you woke up at the Asian Branch and with the whole Second Exorcists Project. Well I hope that you want to forget about it. Because that's are not something to be proud of. Not entirely."

“Maybe you are not proud of your past just as I was not proud of mg own past,” Kanda said. “But I was proud of you that you survive that time. I am proud of you that you are here. I am happy that you were here.”  
“You may think that your personality is something to be ashamed of, as something that was born out necessity when you were a child but honestly I was glad.” Kanda said. “If you were a child with your present attitude, I think you wouldn’t be here now.”  
“For that, I truly doesn’t mind if you let loose, once in a while.” Kanda said.

Well Allen knew that he wouldn't be here if it's wasn't for Mana. No matter how much he despite that though. Especially since he found out that's the Earl. And is not ashamed of his childhood. Is just disappointed and mad in it. Because he wouldn't have been like this, if either he wouldn't have been born with his innocence or if parents wouldn't have thrown him away. But now is glad that he had Crown Clown. Because if he wouldn't have had it, then he wouldn't have meet Kanda. But he was still mad at his parents. The younger boy shook his head to get rid of that thoughs before smiling at Kanda. "Well if you are going to piss me off then I would let go of Red on you."

Kanda bites back a laugh when he sees how Allen tried to threaten him with Red. It is by far one of the most unthreatening threat he has ever seen. Nonetheless, he felt that he better follow what Allen said. After all, a calm Allen is much more easier to calm down than a bratty one.  
Then he heard Allen’s stomach grumbles. At the same time, he heard someone wails down outside the door.  
“The food!~” A certain someone shouted.

Allen blushed a little in embarrassment as he heard his stomach growl and he almost laughed as he heard Nea voice. He shouldn't feel guilty about it because the food was made by him and not by his uncle.

"Nephew ", Nea said dramatically as he bursted inside Allen room." I let you food outside of your door to eat it. Not to hit it on the floor and walls. "

" Well in my defense uncle I was angry and not in mode to eat anything. Plus I made it so you should not complain about it. "

Kanda bites his lips to keep himself from laughing out loud. He turns himself away so that no one would notice him. Unfortunately, his shaking shoulders betrays him.  
But then suddenly, his stomach growls as well from hunger. Though, it is quieter, if is still noticeable. It’s been a while since he had eaten anything.

Allen chuckled as he saw that Kanda was trying to muffle his laughing and he wasn't that successful about it. But his chuckle soon died when he felt pain in his left ear.

"I'm living with two brats ", Nea said with a sigh as he dragged Allen by his ear then with his free hand he grabbed Kanda by his own ear as well and he dragged the two boys towards the kitchen grumbling.

Kanda tried to break free from the hands the noah and glared a bit.   
“I can walk by myself.” Kanda said. Then he began to walk beside the noah, looking at Allen with a quirk in his lips.  
Soon they have come to the kitchen. Remembering that he was supposed to eat high-calorie food, he tried to remember what kind of other foods he want to it other than soba.  
If you talk about high-calorie food, wouldn’t that be katsudon? Just imagining it made Kanda frown in displeasure. But better that food than any other foreign food.  
“Do we have katsudon here?” Kanda ask.

Allen pouted as he saw that Kanda managed to get free of his uncle hold and he couldn't. Right now he felt like a little kid who is scolded by his dad. Or in this case uncle. He sighed when Nea let him go and he rubbed his red ear.

"I don't know what is that kind of food. But you two would eat what Allen did. I'm really impressed that you kicked your own food nephew. "  
After he said that Nea had took two fresh bowls and put vegetables soup in them before putting them on the table. And he did the same thing with the rice with vegetables.

Seeing that it would be a waste to throw the food out even if Kanda really wanted to, Kanda decided to eat this food. Now that be had taste what Allen has cook before, he could at least be assured that he can eat this type of food. Unfortunately, it isn’t very high in calorie. Kanda will have to eat snacks later.  
Seeing the food, it looks like a traditional japanese meal. A soup, rice, and vegetables. It only lacks the side dishes and the fish or meat.  
Unconsciously, and triggered by his memories, Kanda clap his hand once respectfully, and said, “Itadakimasu.”  
Then he uses his chopstick to take a bite out of the food. Though not as good as soba, it is better than the other foods Kanda has eaten before.  
Then Kanda look around and notice that there are is no food for the noah. “Won’t you eat?”

"I've eaten already", Nea said as he walked beside the stove with a pot. "More before you two. It's actually dinner time. And this food was meant to be on lunch. I wanted to come to you two to ask what you want for dinner. When i saw the spited food. And when I heard you two stomach I knew that no one eat the lunch. So instead of starving you two with the waiting, I gave you this. "

Allen nodded time to time as he was devouring his food. But most of the time in his head was hearing only blah blah blah blah. He was to hungry to fully listen.

 


	28. Chapter 28

Kanda sighed in relief as he sees Allen going back to his old habits of shovelling food to his mouth without restraint. Fortunately, Allen still use manners while eating, so it doesn’t look as gross as it look.  
It is still not pretty to look at.  
Deciding that it would be far better to focus on his own food, Kanda eat his food fast with normal means. He really is hungry.  
Right now he has to replenish all his lost energy.  
The sound of utensils are clinking as time passes. This is his third serving and at last Kanda was satisfied by the food he has eaten.  
He brought the chopsticks down and respectfully said, “gochisosama.”  
Kanda then fix his dishes and put it into the sink. Then he walk back to the dining room and waited for Allen to finish eating.

Allen was surprised when he saw that Kanda had finished eating before him. Despite his fast eating. But he figured that Kanda was extremely hungry. Especially since he ate the food without any fuss about not being what he wants. After he finished eating and was about to stand up, a streaming cup was put in his face and Kanda as well, and also a plate of baked cookies. When has his uncle did this.

"I'm not fan of tea before sleep, even though it's still early. So you two would need to drink hot chocolate. Don't worry. It's not poisoned. And neither are the cookies ". The last part was meant for Kanda.

If Kanda has been worried or even care about poison, he would have long ask the noah about it when he put the meal earlier.  
“I trust you not to hurt Allen.” ‘So I trust you not to hurt me too.’ This words went unsaid. He reach out for the cookies and began to eat it. He scrunched his face, tasting the sweetness. But he force himself to finish that one cookie. Instead, he didn’t touch the chocolate drink and ignore it, knowing it would be too sweet for his own taste. Then he push the snacks for Allen to eat.

Nea smiled and patted Kanda head gently.

Allen took a cookie from the table and he eat it with sparking eyes enjoying the sweet taste. But when he dranked from the chocolate he grimaced and almost wanted to spite it. But he urged himself to swallow it. And then he glared at the his chucking uncle.

"My mistake. That cup was meant for Kanda ", Nea said as he switched the cups." I knew that he's not a fan of sweets things. He never was. "

Kanda glared at the noah.   
“I’m not a child!” Kanda hissed to the Noah feeling creeped out all of the sudden. For some reason, he sees General Tiedoll overlapping the noah. Kanda feels threatened at the moment.  
Then he saw Allen drinks the the chocolate cup and almost snorts when he saw how Allen glares balefully at the Noah.   
‘It seems that even Allen couldn’t stomach some other foods as well.’ Kanda thought in amusement.  
Then he heard what the Noah said and stiffen up. He frowned at the noah, “Is the,” Kanda pauses, “past me also detest sweet things?”

"If he detested sweets?" Nea asked with a chuckle as he changed the chocolate cups. "That kid was throwing tantrums everytime someone was putting sweats in front of him. Literally. Now in the past you weren't like how you are now. You were able to act on your age. Except when the sweets were involved. And if I remembered correctly, one time Allen sneaked something sweet in your food, I don't know what though, and I realized why you despise them. After you ate it you were literally acting like a kid on sugar rush. "

Kanda look at the Noah in disbelief. Even he cannot believe that he would get sugar rush if he eats sweets enough. For some reason, Kanda felt tilted as if he lost a part of him. As of now, even if he eats as many sugar as he wants, his regeneration breaks it down immediately, for it to take root in his body.  
He still does not like sweets, though.  
Right now, Kanda turn away from his depressing thoughts and look at Allen with a smirk. “I guess Karma does go around.”  
Who would have thought that 35 years after, Kanda still manage to get revenge for that prank?

Nea smiled and patted Kanda head and Allen as well. "Eat the food and drank the chocolate before you go back to your rooms. I would be in the lab if you need me." After he said that Nea turned around and left..

After his uncle left, Allen couldn't control himself and started to laugh. Even though he doesn't remember his past life and he doesn't know if the words are true or not the sight of Kanda with sugar rush would be the most hilarious thing possible.

Kanda glares at the Noah. When the fourteenth left, Kanda glared at Allen who suddenly laughs out loud. Even without being said outright, Kanda knows Allen is definitely thinking about him with a sugar rush.  
Kanda glowers at Allen. When Allen still didn’t stop, Kanda can feel his blood started to boil. His veins began to bulge out of anger and Kanda couldn’t stop himself anymore.   
Kanda use his sheathed sword and came for Allen with a swing.

Allen saw sheathed sword coming towards him and he falled backwards with his chair on the floor to avoid being hit. "What the hell Kanda? Can't you take a joke. Plus it's wasn't really you I was laughing about. But your past self. So you shouldn't care about it as you don't remember it anymore. Sheesh."

Kanda smirks at Allen. "It may happen at the past." Then Kanda point out the chocolate drink. "However, it seems that the karma is still in effect."  
Kanda withdraw the sword and seat back again the chair, still smirking at Allen. "I'm just trying to be nice, and destroy that karma that has follows you until now."

Allen glared at Kanda smirking face and he stood up and rubbed the back of his head. Karma. Right? More likely bad luck. Or something. He doesn't believe in things like this. And he wasn't pleased that Kanda used his bad past as an example for Karma.   
"It's not funny ", he said as he took his right cup and drank the hot Chocolate.

"Now you know what I feel." Kanda retorts back. He is still sitting on the chair but now with the usual scowl in his face, his arms crossed. He seemed to be in deep thought. After all, now that he was awake, and is full from the meals he has eaten, he has just realized he didn't know what to do next. Usually, at this point, after eating he would meditate lightly before training himself.  
Now that he cannot train as much as before, he has to find other things to do as well. Sighing, Kanda waits for Allen to finish. He thinks that he would just thought something after meditating.

Allen dranked his drink fast and he ate two more cookies. "I'm going to Nea lab. I want to do something". Allen said standing up and left without waiting for an answer from Kanda. He needs to make Kanda pay for almost giving him a concussion and for its mean words about his past as being Karma.   
Arriving there he was grateful to see that it's was empty. If he wants to do is plan then he would need to move fast before his uncle would appear. Opening his drawers, he took out all the papers there and started to look through them. When he finally found it he looked at it with a victorious smile.

When he saw Allen walks away quickly, Kanda stand up as well and put the dishes on the sink to be cleaned later. Kanda would definitely not be the one to clean that. Shameful as it is, Kanda doesn't know how to wash the dishes. Instead of trying and get humiliated, Kanda decided to leave it alone.  
Kanda then began to walk to the meditation room. Setting the sword aside in a sword rack, Kanda began to stretch carefully and slowly, before he settle down and sit in a lotus position. Then he began to meditate.

Allen looked through the paper and read it a few times before he moved to a shelf. After a couple of minutes later he found out what he was searching for and he put them in two syringes. After that he walked in meditation room, knowing somehow that Kanda was there. There he sneaked carefully towards him and injected the serum in him.

Kanda doesn't notice Allen walking in the meditation room. There was a simple reason for that. Kanda has planned to deeply meditate. This was to help him relax and be further more calmed when he snaps out from the meditation. By the time that Kanda has realize that Allen was here, he already felt something pricked his arms. Opening his eyes, he can see a needle sticking out from his arms and the serum immediately being injected to him.  
Fuck!  
Before he could do anything yet besides glaring at Moyashi, something happened to him.

Immediately after Allen injected the other syringe in his arm and pushed the liquid down. Soon he started to feel pain in his lower back and head and he gritted his teeths as he took the papers from his pocket and threw them in front of Kanda.   
The papers being about the Neko serum that Nea had created it. It's said that once the serum injected the subjects would have cat ears and tail. But the growing process would gave them lower back and head pain.

Kanda flings away the papers. Even though he feels pain, especially in his head and lower back, he glares at Allen, stepping forward. Staring at the moyashi, he couldn't help but stumble and lose his balance a bit.  
Allen, has a white cat ears. Kanda also heard something rip and soon he sees a white tail swishing lazily at Allen's back.  
Somehow, Kanda has a bad premonition. He remembers earlier what Allen said.  
[Oh, and there's my uncle laboratory.]  
[Apparently my uncle is scientists. Always was.]  
[And don't worry Nea is not as crazy as Komui.]   
[And the only crazy thing there is a serum called Neko or something.]  
["I'm going to Nea lab. I want to do something". Allen said]  
Kanda felt the pain receding a bit. So he reluctantly touched his head, and he can feel two lumps of cat ears. Then he heard his pants rip and Kanda then touch his lower back next. He could feel the tail.   
For a moment, Kanda was too shocked to react. His hands fall down and he looks stupefied.   
So Neah wasn't crazy as Komui. He is actually far more worse!! At least, Kanda could destroy what Komui creates, but this! He doesn't even know where to start to fix himself!  
It doesn't take long before Kanda erupts. He zeroed into Allen immediately.  
"MOYASHI!" Kanda began to chase after Allen.


	29. Chapter 29

Despite the pain he felt Allen runned away from Kanda for a while. He wonders where his uncle is. And if he knew that something had happened but he decided to stay away from it. He managed to run without problems until he arrived into the garden and stumbled over his tail and a rock and falled on the ground.   
"Stop it ", Allen said as he saw Kanda murderous face." I wouldn't have done anything if you wouldn't have said that my childhood was Karma for that stupid prank. Alright. I wanted to make you pay because you literally made fun of my shity life. And it's not like I injected it only to you. I injected myself as well. "

Kanda chase after Allen, pissed off. He knew Allen wouldn't do anything harmful to him. However, the fact that he has cat appendages was making it hard for Kanda to ignore his anger. Then Allen stumbles and fall down into the ground.   
Kanda blink at shock. Did Moyashi just fall? Is this Karma again working once more. At the same time, he feels his anger get doused a bit. Then he heard what Allen said. Somehow, he feels that Allen right now is a pitiful kid throwing tantrum.  
Kanda sigh, aggrieved. He then threw a glare at Allen before he picked him up bridal style.  
"Point me where Neah lab is." Kanda said gruffly. "If he does't have an antidote, get ready for revenge. Don't worry. I won't kill. Or harm you too much."

Allen keept quiet as he pointed with his hand the directions towards Nea lab. He can't believe that Kanda is angry at this shit when he was supposed to be angry and upset. He's not like he's the only one.

Nea looked from his work as he heard his lab door opening and he was shocked to see Kanda and Allen. With cat appendage. What?   
"What happened with you too? "he asked as he walked beside the two boys.

Kanda looks at the Noah and glares back at Allen. "Your nephew decided to inject your Neko experiment to both of us. Apparently, he was taking revenge from the karma thing. To the both of us." Kanda's eyebrow twitch at that. This brand of revenge is quite weird. Both of them are affected instead of only him. Kanda wonders what is Allen currently thinking at that time."Is there an antidote for this?"

Nea didn't know if he should laugh or coo as the boys look so adorable like this. Like he doesn't know if he should be angry at his nephew for taking his things without permission or not. Sighing the man rubbed his eyes before speaking. "Unfortunately there's no antidote. I need to make one and it would take a while. After all this Neko serum took me one month to create him and make him perfect."

Kanda's eyes twitches at that. This is probably the second worst outcome out of all outcomes. The worse is that this appendages are permanent. Kanda has decided not to let Allen off. A revenge plan is already forming in his head."Are there other effects that might come from this concoction? Like certain behaviours?"  
Kanda really hopes there's nothing else beside this cat appendages.

"Well besides the cat appendage you would be able to see very well in dark. And well. Ahm. Purr. You would be able to purr. "

Allen wasn't paying attention to Nea words. He already read the files and he knew what they have besides the ears and tail. But somehow, and he doesn't know how, as he knew that Kanda would take revenge on him, though he said that he wouldn't hurt him to bad, he remembered about that day when the men attacked him. And the worst, his days at the circus. Where he was punished most of the time. He could feel tears pricking at his eyes but he didn't let them fall. He fought against Kanda arms and after he was free, he rushed away from the lab.

Suddenly, a dark aura slowly come out from Kanda. Mugen suddenly flash a bit and somehow brought back Kanda to calmness. Kanda was about to chase Moyashi when he was held back by Neah.  
"Wait! Wait! Wait! What is it now?" the noah ask in tired exasperation. The noah began to gesture wildly in hands. "What the heck is happening?"  
Kanda eyed the noah skeptically. Even still, he felt that Allen needs help and unfortunately Kanda couldn't provide all of it. So Kanda began to tell everything until he finishes. "I think Allen needs help." Kanda said. "Someone who is like mugen to me."  
Then Kanda leave the noah and began to try and find where Allen is.

Nea sighed as he returned back to his work and hopes that everything would be alright. He knew by now, because he lived in the boy mind for years, that Allen doesn't take many threats to good..

Allen arrived in his room, though he didn't know why he walked in his room in the first place and he curled on the couch. He closed his eyes and tried to make the evil memories that decided to reaper to disappear.

Since Kanda didn’t know much about this mansion and hasn’t seen or explored every room yet, Kanda hopes tha Allen will be in his room. Otherwise Kanda wouldn’t know where to start at all.  
Running a bit faster, Kanda came into a stop facing Allen’s room. Without a knock, Kanda barged inside. There he sees Allen curled up in the couch.  
Immediately, he forgot his own revenge and got closer to Allen in worry.

Allen was waving his tail a little as he was curled on the couch and he tried to ignore anything around him. He couldn't believe that Kanda threats of hurting him for this thing, had brought back his shity memories back. It's was better if he would have ignored Kanda speech about Karma and he wouldn't have injected Kanda and himself with his Neko serum. And it doesn't help the fact that his uncle said that it would take him a few weeks to made the antidote. Who makes something like this and doesn't have the antidote made as well? Really.

Kanda began to worry about Allen when he didn’t even notice him. He got closer to Allen. Still Allen didn’t even flinch. So Kanda decided to sit in the couch just a bit away from Allen.  
Then he coughs out. So he won’t startle Allen.

Allen cat ears were plastered to his head and when he heard a cough his ears raised and twitched at the noise.   
He would need to get used to this because it's a bit strange. Allen raised his head from his knees and looked at an side to he Kanda and flinched a little, as he didn't even heard him enter.   
"Are you here to get your revenge? "

Kanda twitch at that. When he sees Allen looking at him with a teary gaze, he suddenly feels as if he is bullying the boy. Couple with the cat ears and tail, Kanda feels like a demon who has just step over a defenceless puppy.  
But Kanda wouldn’t back down. Now that he look closer, Allen look horrible. So he ask instead, “What’s bothering you that much?” After all, it couldn’t be because of the revenge he hasn’t yet done.

Allen felt his ears dropping on his head once more as well as his look as he heard Kanda question.   
"Normally u have nothing against threats. But as we talked about past and childhood, I remembered about my time at the circus, after you threatened me. Where Cosimo was always beating me while I was doing something bad after his standards. "

Kanda looks at Allen after that. He wasn’t that surprised. Though this is new information about Allen, he wasn’t surprised by the cruelty in Allen’s childhood. Unfortunately, even if Kanda comfort him, nothing will change and the scar of cruelty will still lingers on Allen’s heart. Besides, the world wouldn’t stop being cruel to all of them.  
So Kanda thought of another possible solution. A perfect solution for him.  
“Follow me.” Kanda dragged Allen outside and into a nearby dead tree.  
“Hit this.” Kanda said. “Pour all your feelings while hitting this.”

Allen looked confused at the tree. Is he Kanda serious about this thing? Allen only stared at the tree with his hands at his sides. For how long. He doesn't know. But at some point he turned around and looked briefly at Kanda. "No." He's not a violent person and he knew that hitting a poor dead tree would help him with nothing.   
"Just get over with your revenge already ", he said as he dropped himself on the ground and leaned against the tree.

Kanda rolled his eyes. Looking at Allen, now he knows why it is that Allen is always felt somewhat fake. He always keep his feelings inside. Kanda hasn’t always believed that Allen has an attitude alike of a saint. Red was a proof at that. However, with how Allen suppressed his own emotion, it’s a wonder he didn’t feel choked up.  
“Then this will be my revenge.” Kanda said. “If you can destroy this trunk without using innocence and only by fist, I consider my revenge finished.”

Allen snorted at the bullshit words of Kanda. Not even if he wanted he would not be able to destroy a tree without his innocence. He doesn't have enough strength. Especially now when he lacked in training and mission.   
"No. I would not destroy a tree ", he said as he stood up and walked pass Kanda back into his room.   
And he thought that they resolved their problems. Apparently it's wasn't true. And this is partially Nea fault because he told Kanda about that stupid park that he didn't remember doing it.

Kanda almost forgot one of the most infuriating traits of one Moyashi.  
Stubbornness.  
Kanda wants to facepalm. How was he supposed to help Allen? How do one help an orphan who has suffered betrayal in a war from both sides?  
“Affection is the best way.” Mugen let the wind carry her whisper to Kanda. “Did you forget that communication is the key?”  
“I wonder about that.” Kanda said grimly. “How would we resolve our issues if Allen keeps running away from me for every conflicts we have?”  
Because to Kanda’s eyes, all he can see is running away. Refusing to be helped, refusing to listen, refusing to accept.  
The only time Allen would be ok if there was someone important to Allen was hurt.  
It’s a good thing that he was also stubborn. More than anything, he wants Allen to be okay.  
With a decisive huff, he follows after Allen. Right now he has a plan.

Right now Allen wanted to go in his uncle office to destroy everything that he created and to burn his papers. And like this he would take him an eternity to make them back. Because he blames his uncle for this fucking shit.   
But the albino made a turn on and walked back into his room, where he jumped in his bed. Even though he wanted to do that, he doesn't have energy. He felt drained. So he decided to that other time.

Mugen felt a bit apprehensive. The things that are happening right now are likely to explode more than anything. So now she worries on both Kanda and Allen. So she appears before Kanda.  
“What are you going to do?” Mugen has been asking the nth time.  
Kanda clicked his tongue, very irritated. Seeing that Mugen might not stop pestering him, he answers truthfully. “I’m going to give you to Allen to help him in his emotional issues.”  
Mugen is shocked to her core. This is! This is idiotic beyond stupidity!  
“Stop!” Mugen shouted angrily.  
Kanda look confused at her. This boy has the gall to lack confused in front of her! Goddamit! It seems that her boy has the emotional intelligence of a freaking rock! He seems to attack forwards and forwards without a regards of anything else. If this continues, her boy and Allen would get hurt in the end.  
“You! What you are doing is beyond stupidity!” Mugen said upfront. Kanda look offended but she continues. “If you continue to do this, even Allen will not tolerate it!”  
That catch Kanda’s attention. “So what do you think I should do instead!” Kanda growls at her.  
“What do you think Allen needs right now?” Mugen ask.  
Kanda remains silent.  
Mugen throws up her hands.  
“What Allen needs now is comfort that comes from you!” Mugen declared. “Haven’t you observe that Allen takes it better if you treat him more gentler! If you want everything to work out, then learn how to be nicer!”  
Kanda blushed shamefully. He glares at nowhere.  
“I know you don’t know how to.” Mugen sigh. “How about you wait for Allen first outside the room. And think about what is truly beat for Allen and for you.”  
Mugen then disappears leaving a lost-looking Kanda.

Because he has nothing else to do now that he left Kanda after his idiotic request and he doesn't have energy to go and destroy his uncle lab, Allen tried to fall asleep.   
But apparently it's was hard because of his cat ears. As he layed to sleep, his ears twitched and heard Kanda talking with Mugen. Though he didn't completely understand what they were talking about. He heard their voice. And even as he covered his face with a pillow, he still heard them.. So he gave up sleeping and got up from the bed. And as soon as he was in a hallway he saw a glowing light and then it's was quiet.

After Kanda mulls about what had Mugen said, irritated as he was, he also knew he was in the wrong.   
What was truly best for both of them?   
Mugen said to think about that.  
But what is the best for them? Kanda then realized. In the end, it’s not about who is right one. It’s about them giving way to each other. It’s about trying to understand each other. Earlier, Kanda was being obstinate, forcing himself to Allen. His ways of thoughts, his techniques on how to calm himself. And now look where it goes. Right now there is another wedge between them created by himself and Allen. This time all because of a prank he couldn’t seem to let go.  
Of course Allen is still isn’t in the right, but that doesn’t mean Kanda couldn’t take the initiative to let go first. So Kanda steps forward with a brand new understanding towards to Allen.

Allen realized that the flashing light was from Mugen or something. Because as soon as it's was quite he saw Kanda approaching him. Sighing the younger boy leaned against the door and plastered his ears to his head once more. Yep still strange. Also his tail apparently wrapped around his middle as well. It's was warm.  
"What do you want? "he asked as soon as Kanda was beside him." If you are insisting on destroying a dead tree without my innocence then I tell you to forget about it because I would not do it. "

Kanda decides that comforting someone is something he doesn’t really know how to do but fuck it! Clenching and relaxing his hands all over again and again, he calms himself and tried to muster out kindness. He could already feel his brows tightening and struggles to straighten it.  
“I’m sorry.” Kanda said. “Mugen clarify to me. That what I am doing to you is no different from forcing you.”   
“Instead of trying to force my own ideals to you,” Kanda said, “I should have comforted you.”  
“But I am really shit at comforting someone.” Kanda trails off and he wince. “I can hug you if you want.”  
Kanda opens his arms a bit. His face looks a bit helpless. He seems to be saying to Allen that everything will be fine.

Oh so apparently someone to tell him that he did something wrong and he didn't realized it by himself. Well Allen should be greatful that Mugen had made Kanda understood something. Looking at the helpless look on Kanda, Allen realized how wrong that emotion looks on Kanda. Very. Because it's not him to feel like this. Looking at the open arms Allen sighed softly and moved into them and hugged Kanda.

Kanda closes his arms around Allen. He was still unsure if what he was doing is correct but since Allen accepted his hug, then he couldn’t be doing anything wrong as well. However, he feels that he was being comforted instead. That thought made Kanda scowled and he hugs Allen tighter. Thinking about what he could do better, he then began to pats Allen’s head gently.   
“I’m sorry for trying to force you.” Kanda whispers to Allen. “If you are really that scared of getting revenge, then I’ll just let it go. Besides the noah could probably create an antidote. We’ll just have to wait.”

Allen could feel that Kanda was feeling a bit awkward in the hug. And he wanted to move away, he felt the Japanese arms tightening and one of his hands patting his head.   
The albino sighed at the apologize and nodded. Though he knew that he must be a little unfair as he did something like this.   
"And I'm sorry as well. I shouldn't have done this. I should have just brushed of your words. "

“Maybe. But it’s my fault as well. My threats did trigger you.” Kanda said. “I should have been more sensitive when that happens to you.”  
Kanda hugs Allen more before he let go. However, he hasn’t stop from petting Allen in the head.  
Suddenly, Kanda felt a bit sleepy. It’s been a long day and he was just healed earlier. Maybe he should sleep now.  
Then he also saw how Allen is looking tired as well. Now that he thinks about, he felt a bit curious where Allen will go.   
“Where will you go?” Kanda ask.

It's wasn't entirely Kanda fault that his memories had gone triggered. But this hectic days and the talk about past and many other things. That's what triggered them more.   
For a second Allen was a bit confused about Kanda question. Then he figured that where is he going as he left the room.   
"I wanted to go and tell you and Mugen to not talk so loud because I was trying to sleep. But now I should go to sleep because it's quite. "  
Allen didn't know if that's how he wanted or his body moved by itself. But he didn't entered in his room. But Kanda own.

Kanda look bemusedly at Allen, who suddenly walks into his room. Since this happened, does that mean Allen would sleep with him.  
Maybe Allen needs a little bit more of comfort?  
Kanda follows Allen to his room, and decided that maybe that would be better for now. Both of them needs to be comforted anyway. Now that he is in the room, he sits down into the couch and place the sword above the table.  
“Will you sleep with me?” Kanda ask to Allen, trying to keep his face straight. After all, there is nothing to be embarrassed. They already slept together before.


	30. Chapter 30

"Yes." There wasn't any hint of hesitation on Allen voice. Because as Kanda he also knew that it's wasn't anything new. Allen walked towards the bed and climbed on one side before glancing at Kanda that was on the couch.   
"But please don't sleep on the couch. It would be awkward. Especially since this is your room. Come ", he said as he reached one hand in front of Kanda with a soft smile on his face. His tail was also waving a little in happiness that the problems between him and Kanda had been resolved.

Kanda observes Allen and coughs a bit when he heard what Allen said. “I was just guarding you that time. I just got too paranoid.” Kanda tried to explain.  
Kanda stands up from the couch and walks to Allen in the bed. Though his face is right now is blank, his tail couldn’t hide his embarrassment. It began to sway slowly and curled into itself to hide from anyone’s gaze.  
He goes into the bed and settle down sideways, facing Allen. He couldn’t help but look at the cat ears and his hands is twitching. Thinking that since he was already sleeping with Allen, then he could definitely pet him as well.  
So Kanda began to pet Allen in the head.

Allen rolled his eyes a little at that comment. He knew what the truth was. Kanda was paranoid at that time and he was still a little bit uncertain about living in the house with a Noah.   
Now he was glad that he climbed beside him. And he was also surprised at the gesture. He felt his ears twitching as Kanda was petting his head and he was also touching his ears time to time, briefly.   
Allen could feel a grumbling in his chest and his eyes widened as he started to purr.

Kanda almost stopped petting Allen. Just hearing a human purr is really shocking. Though Neah has warned them about it earlier, Kanda still hasn’t believe it yet. But now that he heard how Allen purr, a mischievous thought came to Kanda’s mind. He began to explore Allen’s cat ears and try find all the sensitive spots. After pressing and figuring all of them, Kanda begun to rub those spots intensely. Seeing Allen purring a lot, like a machine rumbling, fascinates Kanda a lot.

Allen eyes widened as he Kanda was making him purr more. Even though he somehow enjoyed that touches and rub its was still making him a bit embarrassed. He knew that he would make that noise. He never expected for Kanda to make him emanating them so much. Allen moved one of his hands at Kanda head and he touched his fluffy black ears. Wow. They were so soft. Touching them, he began to rub Kanda ears as well.

Kanda shudders when Allen began to stroke his cat ears. Is Allen actually trying to make him purr? And seems succeeding at that! Somehow, Kanda can feel his chest began to vibrate a bit. Curling up, he began to purr as well.  
Kanda glared hard at his own chest, but be cannot deny the simple pleasure of having his ears getting pet by Allen. Somehow his face got a bit redder and Kanda feels a little bit of drunk.  
Kanda began to redoubles his efforts on rubbing Allen’s cat ears.

Allen didn't even care that he was still purring because apparently Kanda wasn't gave up on making make that sound. No. Because now he was having a smile on his face as he heard Kanda purr as well. It's was incredible. "Oh my. Your purring is so adorable". It's really is. Adorable and innocent in the same time.

Kanda glares at Allen. This is the worst. Right now he can feel his pride shattering into glasses. He tried to talk back while still purring.  
“Am not cute.” Kanda hissed back surprised that he can actually hissed like a cat. Not only that but when he looks at his back, he can see his tail ramrod straight and looking a bit harried.   
Then he looks at Allen and soften. “Yours are cuter.”

Allen chuckled and closed his eyes as he leaned his head to one side. He wasn't even surprised that he heard Kanda hiss. If they can purr than it's something normal that they can hiss as well. "Thank you for the comments. But no matter how much you would negate it. That would not change that your purring and looks isn't cute or adorable.

Kanda’s tail swayed sharply in irritated embarrassment. Though Kanda has been called many times with many other description and nicknames, it is still quite an experience to be called cute. Only the old man told him that and in such a disgusting manner as well. He should have been disgusted by what Allen is saying, however his tail just won’t stop swaying happily at every praise Allen is giving him.  
If Kanda has to tell the truth, it is quite nice, really. Still he almost buried his face to the pillow to muffle his purring.  
“Che.” Kanda click his tongue and tried to shut up Allen by rubbing all the sensitive spots at the same time.

He knew that despite the fact that he clicked his tounge, Kanda wasn't really mad at him for calling him cute. Because he was seeing his tail that was waving happily. He can't fool him. Allen eyes widened when Kanda started to rub all his sensitive are from his ears and he felt them twitch more. And not only that. But also started to purr very loud, making him blush in embarrassment. He immediately tried to remove his head from Kanda touch, so he could stop.

Kanda immediately feel relieved that the hands in his ears are now gone. If it had stayed any longer, Kanda was sure he will do more embarrassing things he doesn't want to show to anyone. Like, rubbing his head and ears to those hands willingly. Honestly, somehow those hands of Allen almost manage to make him faint in pleasure. Till now, he can feel the echoes and trails of pleasure in his ears, submitting itself to those hands eagerly.   
Now that Allen has retracted his hands, somehow Kanda felt more than disoriented. He felt very discontented. Though he knows it was because the rubbing has stopped, his tail couldn't help but swish sharply. Then suddenly, Kanda felt sad. His ears and tail drooped. However, it doesn't last long.  
Seeing Allen in the throes of pleasure of something he has done, because Kanda has rubbed his ears, makes him feel very very satisfied. Those glassy eyes of moyashi, conveying on just how much pleasure he was experiencing, and the loud rumble of satisfied purr, and the tail swaying so happily, make something dark in him curl happily.  
Soon, Kanda stop rubbing so intensely and begun to rub Allen's ears gently. Kanda got worried that if he rub too much, Allen might faint. Getting closer to Allen, somehow he got a whiff of Allen's smell. This smell is that blasted Allen's favorite dessert dango and something of that entirely of Allen. Overall, Allen smell sweet and delectable.  
Narrowing his eyes in glee, and uncaring of the social boundaries that said he should be going slow, he cuddled with Allen, hugging and tucking him under his arms.  
"Sleep." Kanda rumbles, his chest vibrating ever-so slightly.

If that's how a cat feels when his ears are rubbed, then his the most luckiest animal ever. Like he is the most luckiest person to have a have a person like Kanda in his life. He blushed a little as the Japanese brought him in his arms. And he was cuddling him. But his body was like a jelly to even protest. Not that he would want to protest anyway. "Sleep you to as well", he said as he burrowed his face in Kanda chest enjoying the sound of his heartbeat.

Kanda tighten his hug for a moment to show how happy he is that Allen didn't reject his silent request to cuddle for the rest of the night. While cuddling Allen, Kanda give a last rub to Allen's head before he settle down into a sleep. With Allen under his arms, it feels like everything will be fine. Whatever future will throw to them, they will always have each other. With that last thought, Kanda smiles and fell asleep.  
For the first time in so many days, Kanda fell asleep deeply. It is also one of the best sleep he will ever have.

Allen had fallen asleep immediately as he was listening to Kanda shooting heartbeat. It's was really a nice and beautiful soud to woke up to. Fortunately his sleep wasn't plagued by nightmares or by his memories with Mana. Because no matter what Kanda said. For him that memories had became a nightmare. His dreams were sweet and lovable and full of him and Kanda.   
The younger boy jumped awake the next morning as he heard a loud explosion, coming probably from Nea lab. And his eyes twitched a little because the sound was very loud. Though maybe it's was loud because of his enhanced hearing.

It's been a while since Kanda felt this refreshed. Waking up in this morning early has always been a habit of Kanda. A schedule that was drilled to him when he was still a child. However, unlike any other morning, this one is special, because when he should be readying himself for meditation and a light training, he is still in the bed with someone precious in his arms. Observing Allen while he is sleeping is fascinating because time to time, Allen's face will crunched up to different faces.  
If Kanda was to be honest, he would say it was..... cute.  
Then something exploded somewhere else, probably from the Noah's lab. Kanda immediately scowl as he sees and feel Allen jump out from the bed, hurried and disoriented before becoming alert and irritated. There goes the good morning. Kanda sigh, and clench his fist tightly. Someday, that noah would get a beating for disturbing them like this.  
He ties up his hair and grab up his sword. "So are we going?" Kanda ask Allen.

Allen was surprised when he heard Kanda voice and he turned around. He didn't expected for the older boy to be up. But he probably heard the explosion as well. Sigh. Has is uncle a dead wish or something? An explosion in his lab would not affect him. But Kanda, Mugen would. Before he could answer, a faint light appeared in the room, that disappeared and revealed Nea with on his face and hands and coughed a little.   
"Did I woke you up kids? Sorry. It's wasn't my intention to create an explosion

Kanda scowled even deeper when he saw the noah just appear out of nowhere saying 'Sorry. It wasn't my intention.' Ah, Kanda feels himself getting angrier every second passed. Holding his sword tightly, Kanda tried to think of happy thoughts. He failed. A dark aura came out drom his body but still he tried not to attack the noah. After all this is Allen's uncle. Allen will be terribly sad if Kanda ever tried to cut the noah into half. Instead he clench his teeth and tried to smile. "Good morning." Kanda grits out. By the look of his companion, he wasn't too successful it seems.

Ehhh. Allen eyes were wide as he saw the forced smile on Kanda face. But that's not what made him move away from him a little, though it's wasn't actually fear. It's was the dark aura that surrounded him. It's was more scarier than his own demon aura. And it's was looking very well like the one had when they were in the Ark and Kanda wated to fight Skin alone. A memory that made him shudder, as his tail wrapped around his body. That was the moment when he thought that he lost Kanda forever.

"I'm serious. I didn't want to create an explosion. Apparently creating an antidote is more difficult than making the serum. I guess that I mixed wrong chemicals, if it created such an negative reaction. "

When he sees Allen move away, he was immediately brought down away from his current irritation and the dark aura. His scowl though didn't disappear and even become deeper. He glared at the noah, his tail swaying sharply from one side to other. In his mind, he already blame the noah for making the wonderful morning go shitty.   
"Did anything else happened?" Kanda demands an answer from the noah.

Nea glanced a bit as his nephew to see him lost in thought. Knowing him he probably planning something to take revenge. He always was doing that. Shame that he can enter in his mind because he blocked their mental link. Sighing his returned his attention back to Kanda and wiped the ash from his face. "Nothing else is wrong. Only the explosion created by the negative reactions of the chemicals."

Kanda scoff. So it means that the antidote wasn't created yet. However, it's not like Kanda mind anyway. While the ears and the tail is a give away of his emotions, it could be said that it was also very cute to see in Allen. As long as the noah could create an antidote before they have to face their enemies, he would be fine with it.  
"Is that all?" Kanda scowls. "Then we're going to breakfast."

"I trust you that you would be able to do that without burning the kitchen", Nea said teasing the two boys and he disappeared back in his lab before he was gutted by Kanda. "Alright. Back to work."

After he saw that Nea had disappeared, Allen sighed and unwrapped his tail from the middle. He looked up at Kanda and gave him a smile. "I'm sorry for my uncle craziness that ruined our morning.".

"Che." Kanda said, turning his head away, his tail swaying, following where his hair going. "Not your fault."  
He then grabbed the white haired boy's hand, and pull him along to the kitchen. This time, Kanda decided to watch how Allen would cook and help a bit. Though it is true that Kanda cannot cook, that doesn't mean Kanda cannot chop or slice.  
Kanda put a plain apron, and follows Allen. "I'll be helping you with knife work. What will you cook?" Kanda ask Allen curiously.

Allen tried very hard to not burst in laughter as he saw Kanda with an apron. He doesn't want to be chased by an angry samurai with s sharp sword through the mansion. So he thought about what should they eat. It's breakfast so it should be something plain. "I think that some toast and scrambled eggs with coffee or tea should work for breakfast", he answered after a couple of minutes of thinking.

Kanda twitched, annoyed. Somehow, on those food that was mentioned, none of them is something that he can actually slice, except maybe for bread. Tapping the big knife he has taken off the rack onto the counter, he look at Allen with a scowl, the happy tail began drooping a bit before standing up normally.   
"And what can I actually slice or chop in here except for bread?" He ask Allen. Kanda's arms began to cross itself, and Kanda look at Allen with a questioning look.

Allen face dropped as he heard Kanda. He swear that the Japanese is obsessed with chopping things. He also pretty disappointed as he saw that his tail was even stopped waving. He didn't even know that he likes the motion so much. "Well what about salad. You can chop some onion, tomatoes and cucumber. Oh and some cheese as well and make a salad, love." Oh shit. Allen immediately covered his mouth as he spoke the last words. He didn't know why he even said that. Now he knew that he would be definitely killed by Kanda.

Kanda almost dropped the knife he was fiddling over. To be on safe side, he put the knife down and replayed again just what Allen said.  
'Love!'  
'He called me love!'  
Kanda almost take a step backwards because he was that surprised. Thankfully, he didn't or else he might have sends Allen the wrong signal. Flustered and but strangely delighted, he looks to Allen and tried to glare normally, ignoring the blush in his face.   
"I-I" Kanda strangely stuttered. "Just fucking point me where the vegetables are!"

Allen face dropped slightly as he heard Kanda words. He even ignored his blush. He knew that he must be greatful that Kanda hadn't thrown the knife at him, at least. Without saying anything Allen opened the fridge and took out some eggs and vegetables. "Be careful to not cut yourself. The knifes are sharp", he said putting the vegetables in front of Kanda. And as he put the eggs in the frying pan, he hoped that he hadn't ruined his small relationship with Kanda for saying that word.

Seeing Allen's disappointed face make Kanda irritated. Irritated at himself. He should stop getting shy over himself. So Kanda breathes in and gathered his courage. Since Moyashi has been bold enough to called him love then it is perfectly acceptable to call him back with it.  
With determination, Kanda walks to Allen, and sneakily hugs him in behind, then he whispers to Allen's ear. "Thank you. Love."  
Immediately realizing what he has done, Kanda can feel himself stiffen at the apparent shamelessness he just acted on. His tail curled on embarrassment.

Allen eyes widened when he heard it. And his face was completely red because of it. He thought that he did something bad when he called Kanda love and he didn't expected for him to call him like this.   
And of course Allen could feel the stiffness. So Kanda was embarrassed now? Sighing Allen patted Kanda arms.   
"Go and make the salad. After all you complained to me that you had nothing to chop. "

Kanda let go of Allen and automatically walk where the vegetables are. His tail is still curled on embarrassment. Shaking his head to snap himself away from the daze, he look up to see Allen. When he sees how Allen was blushing, he felt immediately better. With a good mood, he began to cut the vegetables quickly. Quickly, he was finished. Setting aside the vegetables, Kanda looks and observes Allen cooking.

Despite the fact that he felt Kanda embarrassment and stiffness his tail was still waving slightly in slight happiness as he heard Kanda calling him love. Maybe a part of him was still thinking that he would have left after he heard it. He needs to have more trust in Kanda decisions and thinking. Soon the eggs were ready and he put them in two plates.   
"Wow you were fast ", he said as he saw that Kanda had finished the salad. He also realized that he didn't anything to get rid of the blush.

Kanda smirks at Allen. Making Allen blush feels like the thrill of hunting. It felt very exciting, with a strange kind of anticipation, a flutter in his heart happening in each moment, and it makes him feel very alive. It makes him feel very connected to this reality. It is as if somehow he has find an anchor to this very world.   
Kanda moves closer to Allen, walking deliberately, oozing with sex appeal. Then he snatch the plates Allen is holding like nothing happened at all. "I have finished cutting. You can prepare the salad. I'll prepare the table. Love."  
Kanda smirks to Allen before he walks away.

Allen stood in the same place frozen and unmoved. And apparently his face had got a deeper shade of red. Even though he likes this side of Kanda, he couldn't help but wonder if he hit his head. Hasn't said that they should wait? And now Kanda is calling him love again?  
Shaking his head Allen walked back to the counter with his tail waving more in happiness and began to make the salad. Couldn't Kanda make it after he cut the vegetables. After he put the vegetable in a bowl and put some salt and a little oil. As well as some cheese, Allen took it and walked in the table direction. And halfway to it the house was once again shaked by an explosion.   
"Oh that's it. Here love ", Allen shoved the salad bowl in Kanda hands." I'm going to kill my uncle. "

"Kill him after we eat." Kanda said, his face twitching to form into a smile when he heard Allen called him 'love'. He immediately frowned instead when he heard what Allen said. He couldn't let the Noah destroy their breakfast now like how he ruined their morning earlier.  
To further prevent Allen from going away, Kanda used his spoon to feed Allen with a bit of salad in his arms.

"I bet he locked himself in the lab. I thought he was a scientist. A scientist isn't making something wrong, enough to explode it. "  
Allen huffed and turned his attention on Kanda only to see a spoon at his mouth. Making him blush. Seriously. Does he get satisfaction from it. But Allen still took the salad and chew it with an cat face as walked to the table and took a seat on it. He also made sure that is was very close to Kanda. The slight gesture had made him calm his nerves.


	31. Chapter 31

Kanda's tail swish in happiness when he saw how Allen didn't go to his troublesome uncle. Besides, if that noah is really in trouble, he was quite sure Moyashi's golem would be getting their attention.  
Since, he has already fed Allen, he guess he could continue to do so. So he began feeding Allen with food from time to time. Beside he was also curious how Allen would react, getting fed by him, just because Kanda wants to. Will he blush? glare? or do something else different?

Yep. Apparently Kanda was very serious about it. But this time he would not let it slide so easily. Yes, Allen accepted to be feed and he also blushed a little. Though in the same time he was happy. Happy because this moment was bringing him back memories about the first time Kanda did it. When they hadn't need to worry about their feelings and other problems. But. "If you are laughing about it again. I will pull you by your tail." And to prove that his words were true Allen grabbed Kanda tail with one hand. But he didn't pulled it. He was just holding it.

Kanda almost snorts. Ah, what did he expect? This is Allen he was talking. To further tease Allen a bit, he purposely curl the tail around Allen's hand, like a long furry bracelet.   
"Don't worry, I won't laugh again." Kanda said drily. "I have learned my lesson already."  
Then Kanda began to feed Allen once more. In between feeding Allen, he also took a bite from the same spoon while Allen is still chewing.

Allen was very pleased by that answer. And he also saw that Kanda was keeping his promise because he wasn't laughing.   
Sometimes his look was drifting to Kanda tail that was curled around his hand and he couldn't believe how soft and comfortable was. He was making him to not want to move his hand away.   
"After we ate, do you want to escape from here?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow at that and look at Allen suspiciously. Crossing his legs into a four, he chews his food and finish it with a gulp. He fed Allen another spoon of food. Thinking about it, he doesn't get what Allen wants. After all, where will they even escape to when everyone is already hunting them. Not only that, but Kanda isn't fully recovered yet and he knows Allen isn't that healthy yet.  
"And where will we go?" Kanda asked Allen.

Allen knew that Kanda was still weary about going to the real world, to put it like this. But he would not blame him or judge him about it.   
"There's a forest close to the mansion. Nea had brought me there a couple of times only to stop worrying about him not finding you. There's a clearing there. It's very green and full of flowers. The spot is also shadowed by trees and slightly illuminated by the sunlight that is pass through the tree branches. Is very quiet and the only sound is made by the birds chirp. It's a very beautiful place to relax and throw your worries away. "

Kanda let down his eyebrow. Thinking about it, it seems that it wasn't that bad. Technically they are still isolated from the danger, just a fresh breath of new scenery. For all that Kanda is trying to calm himself here, he also couldn't deny that he missed the outside world. Besides he could also sees Allen becoming jittery as well. It would be good for them to be out.  
"Might as well. Love." Kanda smirks. Now that he heard what Allen said and agrees to it, he becomes a bit quicker in feeding Allen and him. Sooner than he thought, they were done eating.

At the beginning Allen thought that Kanda would not agree. Maybe because of worry or fear that they would be found by Noah or the Order. Though something like this would not happen. The forest is isolated and very close to the mansion. And if it would have been an danger Nea would be alerted immediately and he would came to their aid. But when Kanda aggred, Allen happily finished the food and washed the dishes. Though that part was a bit hesitant because he would part from Kanda fluffy tail.   
"Let's go, love ", Allen said as he reached one hand towards Kanda as he opened the gate towards the clearing from the forest.

Kanda followed Allen, curious. Looking at the forest and the gate, he felt as if he was walking into another space. The forest got darker and darker and Kanda warily eyed the forest. The forest is very old, with twisted trees and large roots. It was different from any other forest he has seen. Touching Mugen, he felt himself calm a bit. He trusts Allen. If there was something that could harm them, Kanda is sure that he could still protect themselves.

Once they are in the clearing of the forest Allen closed the gate. There's no point in it to stay open. Especially if Nea would came downstairs. Because if he would and saw the opening gate, he would knew that they left the mansion.   
Looking at Kanda he sighed as he saw that he was holding Mugen.   
"Don't worry ", he said as moved the Japanese hand from his sword." This place is 100% safe. And also is an isolated one. No danger would find us here. I promise. "

Kanda nods at that. They began to walk more. Sometimes there were times when they take a turn somewhere else. However soon they trees began to clear. The light is finally reaching in the forest, and he could hear some wildlife again. A few minutes later, Kanda and Allen has arrived at the clearing that Allen was talking about. Seeing it for the first time, Kanda felt his eyes widen. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

Allen smiled and looked at Kanda bewilderment expressions. It was funny that he had the same expression when his uncle had showed him the clearing.   
"So after your expression I take it that you like it here. Right? "Allen asked as he walked in front of Kanda and dropped himself on the ground and looked at Kanda. His tail was waving against the soft and warm ground, happy to be back here with the person that he loves the most.

"Mmm," Kanda hummed in answer. Dropping himself besides Allen, he felt himself becomes relaxed. His body lost it's all tension, his ears become relaxed, and his tail sway languidly. Feeling the ground damp, he frowns a bit.   
"Next time," Kanda said to Allen,"a blanket should be brought."   
Then Kanda turned around to observe the whole clearing. It isn't that large but it is not really small as well. And the feel of nature is abundant in here. It feels peaceful to be here.

Allen was a bit confused about the blanket. That until his tail brushed against some water or damp ground. "Yeah. I never thought that it had rained."   
Allen looked at Kanda and he smiled as he saw the peaceful expression on the Japanese boy. And he knew that he was more calm and relaxed. And for real. This place had helped him as well to.   
"You know. It's more better if you lay down."  
He moved behind Kanda and he forced him down, and put his head on his lap. "And I would play the role of pillow as I can't lay down on the ground."

Kanda felt himself flushed a bit. In all actuality, he wants to glare at Allen for doing this, but now that he was lying in Allen's lap, he felt a bit drowsy. Taking off Mugen from his hip, he place the innocence in front of him, so that he can reach it easily later. Curling up a bit, he let his tail wrap Allen's torso. Yawning, he felt himself slowly fall asleep. With a blink of an eye, he felt himself sleep.

"Lazy cat ", Allen mumbled quietly as he looked fondly down at Kanda. He moved one hand and began to brush his fingers through Kanda hair, liking the warm feeling that Kanda tail wrapped around his middle was giving it.   
Even though it's just a small nap, a cat nap, he hoped that it would be a peaceful one and not plagued by nightmares. Kanda doesn't deserve to be plagued by nightmares everytime he close his eyes.

Kanda has a very peaceful sleep. It seems that this time he has no dreams as well. When Kanda later woke up, he feels someone brushing his hair. When he looks up, he sees Allen's face. For some reason, he doesn't want Allen to know yet he was awake, so he closes his eyes and pretend to sleep. It actually feels nice to lie down in Allen's lap not thinking about anything else. Just relaxing, with nothing harmful around them. He hopes that after the war, when everything is peaceful and done for, they could do this again.

Allen fighted to not chuckle as he saw that Kanda was pretending to be asleep. Or more like he heard it. Even that Kanda was very discrete about it, he couldn't fool him with his breathing. Allen was knew because of his enhanced hearing that Kanda breathing was different from the previous one, when he was truly asleep.   
But he didn't said anything. He just continued to stroke his hair and let the Japanese enjoy this peaceful and sweet moment.

A few moments later, Kanda grew bored. It's not that he cannot stay still but doing nothing for hours really left you numb. If they are going to stay here to relax, Kanda might rather as well meditate. Kanda began to move a bit and use his tail to tap Allen.  
"I'm going to sit up." Kanda said. Sitting up, it seems that he doesn't sleep that long. Looking at Allen, he immediately have a great idea.  
"You've been sitting up this whole time." Kanda said. "Don't you want to sleep too?"  
Since Kanda has slept at Allen's lap, it is only correct to let him sleep in his lap as well. While doing that, Kanda can meditate.

Allen almost whined as Kanda raised from his lap and he also lost the warmth of his tail. "That's a very tempting offer. But I can't. I can't lie down on the ground to much. While I was little and before I was founded by him, I always slept on the hard ground. Even when he founded me i had the tendency to do it. He always told me to not do that anymore because my back would hurt if I slept on something soft. Surprisingly I had no problem on sleeping in a bed. But if I slept on the hard ground, then I get pains. "

Kanda's ears droop down a little but his face remains stoic when he heard what Allen said. If there is only a bench or something to sit on and maybe Allen could actually lie down and sleep. Instead of trying to make Allen sleep down, Kanda decided to just pet Allen then.   
"Then I'll just have to rub your ears, love." Kanda said. If Kanda couldn't get to make Allen relax by making him sleep, then let him relax by petting his cat ears. "You could lean on to me, while I will lean against the tree there." Kanda point out a tree nearby.

Allen thought that Kanda was a little disappointed by his answer when he saw that his ears dropped a little. But when he heard his words and he felt him stroke his ears, he figured that he wasn't. Allen smiled, his body relaxing completely as he leaned into the touch and purred.   
"Alright. If you would not be uncomfortable ", he said glancing briefly at the tree that Kanda pointed." I don't want to make my love uncomfortable, leaning against a hard tree only for me to be comfortable. "

Kanda shakes his head. He was used to leaning on hard surface. Sometimes he has to sleep on them, especially when he was on mission while he was still an exorcist. So this was actually quite okay to him. Besides Allen has to relax his back as well. Standing up, he gave a hand to Allen to help him rise up. Then he walk into the tree and find a comfortable place before he sits down. He looks expectantly at Allen.

Even though Kanda said that he would be alright about, Allen was still a little weary. He really doesn't want to make him uncomfortable. And the tree was looking very hard. But looking down at Kanda, he couldn't say no to that handsome and yet adorable face with two adorable fluffy black cat ears. Yep. Allen was weak. So he smiled and dropped himself back on the ground and leaned against Kanda.

Kanda was getting unsettled the longer Allen took his time sitting down. Thank goodness that Allen finally dropped down on him. His ears perking up, he hugs Allen close to him. Making sure that Allen is comfortable with him, he observes Allen. Seeing no discomfort, he relaxes back to the tree. Kanda then began to pet Allen's ears gently. While petting him, he uses his own tail to play with Allen's tail.

Allen smiled and purred immediately as he felt Kanda stroke his ears and looking down, seeing that Kanda tail was playing with this, had made him laugh. Allen started to play with Kanda tail as well, but after a few minutes he snatched it away and hugged it. "Your tail is very soft", he said as he rubbed his face against.

Kanda hums, not really agreeing or disagreeing. Since he hasn't touched Allen's tail yet, he couldn't be sure which is softer. If there is anything Kanda is sure of is that the Allen's tail looks positively fluffy. Curiously looking at it, Kanda decides to leave it be at the moment. When he found himself a little bit more daring, maybe he would touch it as well but not today. Kanda looks at Allen a bit. "Be careful, love," Kanda said. "It's a bit sensitive, like our ears."

"I know that love ", Allen said as he was holding Kanda tail more carefully and he wasn't rubbing against his face anymore. Though he wasn't planning on letting it go now. It's was very fluffy. A mischievous look appeared on Allen face, though Kanda could not see it. The younger boy moved his white tail and stroked Kanda face with it gently a couple of minutes, before tickling his nose, wanting to see if he would sneeze.

Closing his eyes a bit, he didn't see the white tail get closer to him. So he was completely surprised to feel something soft and fluffy stroke his face. Startled but not too much, he opens his eyes to see Allen's tail stroking his face. Unable to process it what is happening, he was to late to react when it tried to tickles his nose. Now ever since that he has been given cat appendages, he felt his nose becomes a bit more sensitive. So he sneezed when the tail moves away. Glaring a bit at Allen, he also use the tip of his tail to make Allen sneeze as well.

Allen smiled in triumphs as he heard Kanda sneezing and after he accomplished what he wanted he stroked Kanda face with his tail once more before wrapping it around Kanda waist.   
He frowned his love tail tickled his nose as well and no matter how much he fighted he sneezed as well. "That's revenge? What are you? 5?"Despite his words, there wasn't any hint of malice in Allen voice

Kanda sighed back. Actually he should have been pissed off by what Allen was saying but because he was too relaxed and too lazy to do anything, he just lay back. Besides there was no harmful intent on those words, just a bit mischievousness and fun. Kanda decide to join in the fun.  
"So if I am five then what age would you be?" Kanda retorts back without any heat. Then he continues to pet Allen in his ears once more.

Allen giggled as he heard Kanda answer. He was glad that Kanda wasn't offended by his answer. Not that his words were malicious or something. Allen tightened his hold on Kanda tail once more, but still being a bit careful with it as he knew that it is sensitive. "I'm mature adolescent that takes only matures decisions about everything."

Kanda looks amused at that. Allen Walker, matured. Maybe in front of others, but now that he had seen Red, he doesn't believe it anymore.   
"Really?" Kanda decided to tease Allen more. "Why then did this mature adolescent tickles this 5 years old's nose with your tail then?"  
To ruffle up Allen, he tugs those ears gently, just once, before petting them soothingly.

Ok. That's was extremely funny. He likes to have this kind of fights with Kanda that aren't implying violence or death threats. Allen whined as Kanda tugged at his ear a little but he sighed and purred as he felt him pet them next. "Because the mature adolescent wants to tease the 5 year old kid because is funny."

"Oh." Kanda said mischievously. "Since I am currently 5 years old right now. That means I shouldn't be petting you, right? After all I'm still a child."  
Kanda then leans into Allen's ear, and whispers to him softly, "Unless of course you admit it to me that I am older than you, my love."   
Using his tail, Kanda strokes Allen's hand with quick but enticing way. Then Kanda blew softly at Allen's nape, making him break out goosebumps.

Allen shivered slightly as he felt Kanda breathe on his neck but he soon laughed because his breath was tickle him. Well is a ticklish person and even the smallest thing as breathing was tickle him. "Not fair", Allen said after he calmed his laughing. "Little kids are petting amimals." Allen closed his mouth immediately as he realized that he made himself an animal.

Kanda immediately realize that Allen has closed up his mouth. Seeing that the cause is what he last said, Kanda decides to ease him up to it. "Then be honored," Kanda said, "because you are most likely the only animal I will ever pet. Not even my golem has received this kind of honor."  
"Now think, what could be the reason why I would pet a cute cat like you?" Kanda ask. "Is it because you are cute? fluffy? or maybe ticklish?" Without a warning, Kanda gently attacks Allen's side.

Oh his poor golem. Allen guessed that the poor creature must be very depressed because of lack of attention from Kanda.  
Allen blushed a little as he heard his words and his eyes widened. He wanted to escape but he was to late as Kanda started to tickle him.   
Allen started to laugh and rolled from Kanda on the ground trying to escape from his love hands. But apparently he was unsuccessful. So he moved his hands and began to tickle Kanda back.

Kanda tried to restrain his laughter, when Allen tried tickle him. Though Kanda is not very ticklish, there is few sensitive spots in his body. Moving his body to avoid those wandering hands, he stops tickling Allen and capture those naughty hands.   
"How naughty." Kanda smirks at Allen. "Are these the mature decisions of a true adolescent?"

Allen pouted as he couldn't make Kanda laugh as well. He heard him very rarely doing it and he likes the sound of his laughing.   
Allen blushed as Kanda captured his hands. Also he was him or the older boy was more closer to him. "Yes. There are the decisions of a mature teenager."

Kanda blink in amusement. With how persistent Allen is, he can’t help but laugh a little. Letting the hands go, Kanda hugs the beansprout in his arms gently.   
Smirking a bit, Kanda thought of a great idea. Leaning to Allen, he whispers, “I don’t believe it.”  
“If you are truly mature,” Kanda continues, “then prove it to me.”

Allen couldn't believe that Kanda is still insisting with the whole mature thing. And he thought that he had gave up while he hugged him.   
Then he would prove that is mature. Though he hopes that Kanda would not chop his head. Allen leaned and kissed Kanda softly.


	32. Chapter 32

It is a chaste kiss but it is more than anything that Kanda has experienced. It is fireworks within his heart and within his brain. Everything is so overloaded and overwhelming and Kanda doesn’t want to stop. To show his willingness, Kanda just tightened his hold over his moyashi. Then they separate reluctantly when they nearly ran out of air. Looking at Allen, Kanda is pretty happy and also smug as hell. Allen really took the bait and kiss him and right now Kanda was the one to make his moyashi look so dazed.   
He gives one small kiss on Allen’s head.

Allen was surprised that Kanda had kissed him back. A part of him still though that Kanda would mind that he has kissed him. But he was glad that he didn't.   
"Are you not upset. You were the one who said that we should wait. Before we can do things like this

“I did say that, didn’t I?” Kanda ask to himself, then he begun to brush Allen’s hair. “But have you forgotten what I also said before?”  
“I’m also sure I will fall in love with you, given enough time.” Kanda said.  
“The days that I spend with you may not be long, but the events we experience were there.” Kanda said, his normally stoic face, heating a bit. “Time and time, the more I get to know you, the closer I become with you.”  
“And now, I think, I can confidently say it to you. Moya— No. Allen Walker. I think I have fallen for you.” Kanda confess.

Allen eyes widened when herd it. He didn't care that Kanda had called him by his first name. He already got used to be called Moyashi. Of course he would let only Kanda to call him that. But he was surprised that Kanda had fallen for him. "Well I already loved you from the beginning. And I will always love you. You are my special person. And you can imagine how happy I'm to here you say that you fallen for me."

Kanda just kiss Allen, slow before he separates. While declarations of love made his heart feel warmed and loved, and made him assured that yes, his love was reciprocated, he is unfortunately not very best at words. He would rather show to Allen how grateful and how he love Allen than saying it through words of poetry.  
So he began to slowly pepper Allen’s face with butterfly kisses.  
Then Kanda began to pet his Allen in the ears.

Allen giggled as he felt Kanda kisses on his face. Yeah. He missed it. Even though he could easily be thankful only for Kanda presence. After he feel his ears being petted he closed his eyes and began to purr endlessly. Soon he raised his own hand and began to pet Kanda ears as well.

Kanda’s ears twitches in pleasure and his tail curl around Allen once more. He was really feeling happy. Soon, he also purred a little. Under the sun, it felt like time has stopped. In their little space, it felt like they have created their own little heaven.

Allen smiled glad to hear Kanda purring. The sound that he was making it was very beautiful and innocent. So he continues to pet him.   
He didn't know what time is it and he doesn't care either. Even though he had planed to stay a couple of hours. No more. But he didn't cares. And his uncle is busy in the lab and he would not notice.

Kanda stays with Allen under that tree in that clearing until the day started growing darker. He pets Allen and exchange kisses with him. The day couldn’t possibly be more perfect. Regretfully, they would have to leave the clearing soon. He taps Allen in the arm reluctantly.  
“It’s getting dark.” Kanda said. “Unless, there is still something we need to do here, we have to go back soon.”

Allen whined slightly. He doesn't want to go. He loves this clearing and the nature. And the only nature he receives from the mansion is the garden. But maybe with other occasions they would be able to return here.   
"There's nothing that we need to do here anymore. So I guess that we should return. If uncle find out that we left, he would kill us."  
Allen stood up and stretched before opening a gate towards the mansion.  
"Let's go love", he said taking Kanda hand and passing through the portal.

Kanda unconsciously tilt up his lips ever slightly in a copy of a smile. He let Allen hold his hand as they go through the gate. As they go in, Kanda take a last look at the clearing. Soon, they got in the ark. Countless beautiful white buildings stand tall in front of them but to Kanda it only feels empty, unnerving. Kanda thinks it was because the ark has no people.

He loves this place. Allen really does. Because he had spent weeks there and it become like his home. But sometimes he founds the empty streets a bit creepy. But at least he's with Kanda now. Soon they arrived at the mansion door and Allen guided Kanda inside after him.   
"Well. My uncle didn't know about our escape ". His uncle wasn't in the living or halfway waiting for them. So he must be still in the lab, without knowing about them.

Kanda raised an eyebrow at that. Even though technically they escaped, the noah wouldn’t be that angry, right? After all, they have done nothing wrong. Either way, whether the noah would know or not, it would be fine.   
“It’s late.” Kanda said. “We should eat a light meal before we sleep.”

"Well you can ate. I'm not hungry. And so you could know love. Nea would be pissed up because we left. He will say that we left a safe sanctuary and throw us in the danger world. Or something along the line."   
Allen laughed softly as he imagined his uncle saying the exact words as he started to walk towards the kitchen. "Do you want me to make some sandwiches love?"

“We can do that.” Kanda said. “As long as you take some bites.”   
“You don’t have to finish all of them. Just eat something, since we haven’t eaten from lunch.” Kanda said, worried about Allen’s health. This is happening again. Allen seems to have change from eating more than what a person could eat to someone who refuse to eat.

Allen sighed and walked in front of Kanda as he felt the worry that emanated from the Japanese. He was happy to know that Kanda cares for him so much. But. "You don't need to worry about everything that seems abnormal about me", he said as he cupped Kanda face gently and brushed his thumbs against. "I'm alright,love. I'm just no hungry. But I will eat some bites if that would make you feel better."

Kanda nods at Allen, a lot more at ease. Really, to him, as long as Allen is healthy and fine, then everything would be alright.   
“What kind of sandwiches will we be eating, love?” Kanda ask. “I’ll help you if there is something I can chop.”

Allen rolled his eyes with a smile. Of course Kanda would want to chop something. "The usual. With tomato, cheese, meat, salam, salad and other sandwiches ingredients. And yes. You can chop them."  
Allen walked towards the fridge and he took out the ingredients from it and put them on the counter." Chop Chop love. Don't be a lazy ass. "

Kanda rolled his eyes but his eyes soon soften anyway when he sees how Allen look so happy. Taking away the vegetables, with a “thank you, love”, Kanda began the job of chopping the vegetables. Tomatoes, onions, and some leafy greens like lettuce are sliced nicely to fit each other.   
Soon, he is finished chopping. All he has to wait is for Allen to finish cooking the meat. So he pass the plate of vegetables to Allen.  
“The vegetables, my love.” Kanda said to Allen.

"Thank for the help love ", Allen said with a smile as he continued to cook the meat. After he made sure that it's was completely cooked, he stopped the oven and took the breed from the cupboard.   
He soon started to make the sandwiches and after he was finished five minutes later, he pushed a plate with five sandwiches in front of Kanda and he took the one with two because he wasn't hungry.

Kanda grab the plate of sandwiches with a grateful nod. Clapping his hands together, Kanda says, "Itadakimasu."  
Kanda then drinks a cup of water before he eats up. While eating, he began to think what they are going to do. Their first priority is to get well, then training. The second thing they have to know about is information about outside world and what happened the last 35 years. Lastly, they have to beat up the noahs and the order. So many things to do.

As Allen was eating his food,he was glancing all the time at Kanda with a fond and loving expression. He was glad that the day for them to be together once more had come again, and it's was today.   
Also he was glad that the house is still whole and it hadn't been destroyed by his uncle working and most importantly his explosion that had occurred two times.

Soon Kanda finishes up his 2nd sandwich and looks up to Allen and saw the fond look. Looking away, he felt his ears flush a little. It felt undeniably good to have someone love him this much. Slowly, he looks at Allen back and smile back. Then Kanda bring his hand to hold hands with Allen. Then anda resumed eating with Allen.

Allen smiled more and he squeezed Kanda hand gently.   
After he finished his food, that was a few minutes later, Allen waits for Kanda to finish as well.   
Because he wants to stay close to his love in the first place.   
And in the second place because he's kept as a prisoner because of their joined hands. Not that he would complain about it.

Kanda soon then finishes up the sandwiches Allen prepares and frinks some water. As always the food has satisfied him. It also makes him happy that he can eat what Allen prepares for and cook and every time. Looking at their holding hands, Kanda decides to let go for the moment and pet Allen first. Then he grabs the plates and bring it to the sink. Then he goes back to Allen, catching the same hand to hold again.

Allen ears twitched as he felt Kanda petting him slightly and he smiled. He likes to feel Kanda touch all the time. He's soothingly an soft.   
He chuckled as he Kanda took his hand again and he brushed his thumb back and forth on Kanda hand.   
"You are keeping me imprisoned ",Allen said jokingly as he raised their joined hands." Afraid that I will run away from you?" Not that would ever happen.

Kanda huffs a little and looks at Allen. Though he knew Allen is joking, he does answer seriously. "Never." Kanda looks to Allen with soft eyes. Deciding that it will be a lot better to stay in their rooms instead of the kitchen, he pulls Allen close to him. "Let's rest soon." Though they have relaxed all day earlier, Kanda is still feeling a bit lethargic. Not only that, but every time Kanda could see Allen , he felt tempted to just stay with him and relax in bed.

Allen knew that he would act childish and he would ruin his supposed mature adolescent image that he had put it in front of Kanda. But if his attitude would bring a smile on Kanda face. Or even make him laugh. Then it's was worthy.   
"Noo", he whined. "I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired. You can't make sleep."

"Hmph." Kanda said when choose to play with Allen. "And why is that?" In truth, however, he was amused at the back of his mind. "It seems that our mature Allen wants to do something else? I wonder what could it be?" Kanda further tease Allen. Right now, Kanda is trying very hard not to let his smile twitch into a smile. Instead he adopts his usual face. Unfortunately, his lips must have slip a little and quirks up.

Allen snorted trying to not laugh at Kanda. Though it's was a bit impossible. But he was glad that he brought a small smile on Kanda face.   
"Because I'm not tired. And the thing I want now is for you to smile. Because you are even more beautiful when you smile. "  
And after he said that he grapped Kanda face and stretched it into a forced smile.

Kanda immediately frowned when he saw Allen stretch his face into a smile. It just hurts a little, especially when you really don't exercise your facial muscle. However Kanda held the pain in, and smoothed his brows into a relaxed state. Then he grabs Allen's Hands to get it out of his face. "Stop." Kanda said. "You don't have to do that for me to smile at you."  
"I'll smile to you everyday if you want me too."

Allen hoped that his actions hadn't gave Kanda pain.   
Because the last thing Allen wants is for Kanda to feel pain and that pain to be created by him.   
"Alright ", Allen said as moved his hands a little to join them with Kanda own." I want for you to smile because it's beautiful. But only if you feel up to. Not because you are forced. "

Kanda nods at that. He was happy that Allen understand him. While he could give smiles occasionally, it doesn't mean he could smile almost all the time like moyashi. Besides he is not the type to smile at others when all he felt is disdain for them, except, maybe if he thought of how he could torture them through mugen. And those smiles are more likely a smirk. Thankful that Allen could understand that, Kanda pets Allen a little.   
Speaking of Moyashi's smile, "You don't have to smile every time as well. Unless you are feeling happy or amused, do not smile. Also, don't smile when you are sad. I want to see you only smile when you are happy. "

Allen was surprised as he heard Kanda words. He never thought that Kanda had figured it. But for someone like Kanda is not very hard to figure it out.   
From a little kid he had built a mask of smiles. And he got used with it that when he's sad and he's supposed to cry, he's smiling. But he doesn't need to do that anymore. Not with Kanda. "I promise that I would do that love."

Kanda let out another quirk of a smile, but as fast as it appears, it quickly goes away. Instead, Kanda hug his lover/partner/significant other/beloved???  
.  
..  
...  
Now that Kanda finally admitted his feelings, and reciprocated Allen's feelings, what are they? They call each other love and yet Kanda doesn't know how to describe Allen as someone his. Allen accepted his confession, right? So does that mean they are together now? How do they call themselves?  
Kanda pulls back from the hug he gave to Allen, and ask, "What are we now?"

Allen covered his mouth to muffle his chuckle as he heard Kanda sudden and in the same time stupid question. Though he wasn't very successful he urged himself to stop because for Kanda is an important question that has an important meaning. As well as his answer.   
"Well we confess our feelings and love to each other ". Something that is the best thing for Allen as well as this." And we accepted them. So. Now we are either lovers or boyfriends. How you want to call it. "

When Allen said it aloud, Kanda couldn't help but be grounded by it. By saying it aloud, it makes everything real, that what they had now is real. When he heard it aloud, it feels as if his world tilted from grey scale to a colorful warm tones, and he felt his heart stutter in response. Somehow, the word perfectly made himself feel so content.  
"En. My lover." Kanda said as he hugs Allen, this time a bit tighter, trying to convey his feelings.

Allen chuckled as he hugged Kanda back tightly. This time his chuckle was one of happiness than of a teasing one like the previous one as he heard Kanda question. Is so happy to hear Kanda say that word. He hopes that this is not a cruel dream, and he would woke up when he had just saved Kanda from the Earl.   
"You are my lover, love. And I love you very much. "

"I love you too." Kanda softly said. Kanda then suddenly dips his head down and kiss Allen right into the mouth. Just like the first kiss, this kiss is also a chaste one. Just one kiss that would make Kanda shows how much he loves Allen back. Letting go for the moment to let Allen take a breath, Kanda readied himself and dive back to Allen's lips. This time he after a moment of chaste kissing, he licks Allen's lips.

Allen smiled as he heard Kanda say that he loves him. He loves to hear that word form Kanda mouth.   
And he blushed as he kissed him and he kissed Kanda back. He realized that Kanda lips and kiss taste as cherry blossom. And it's a bit funny seeing that Kanda is Japanese. But the taste matches to his nationality. As he felt his lips being licked, Allen parted them slightly. He doesn't care that he would be breathless. He doesn't want to pull away. Never.

Seeing that Allen didn't pull away, Kanda felt a bit relieved and disappointed. Relieve because Allen didn't pull away, but disappointed cause he didn't get to see Allen get flustered. Feeling that Allen open up his lips, Kanda take the opportunity to immediately slide his tongue inside Allen's mouth. He immediately taste the sweet dango.  
How cute.  
For some reason, Kanda automatically knows what to do. It is as if these actions are something he had already done before. A memory muscle from a long forgotten memories. Expertly, he began a dance of tongues with Allen.

Allen blushed even more as he felt Kanda tounge inside his mouth. He didn't expected for Kanda to do that. He more expected for him to pull away. But he would not complain about it. He would enjoy it.   
He was shocked at his next action, because as well he didn't expect to it either. But he didn't pulled away. He actually let out a small and soft moan.

Kanda kissed Allen, teasing the tongue and utterly dominating it with his own tongue. Kanda then heard the soft moan and decided to stop before it leads to something that is far more..... steamy and explicit. With a last twist of dance, Kanda withdraw his tongue and lick Allen's lips before kissing and smiling against it. He is feeling extremely smug. He felt as if he has marked upon his own territory. For now this will be enough. Until the both of them were ready, Kanda wouldn't do more than what they like to do.

Allen pulled away after a few minutes with a blushing face and slightly breathless. Not that he cares about it. He actually mourns the loss of Kanda lips against his own. The soft and sweet lips.   
Allen smiled at Kanda, his face still red, but he ignored it.   
That kiss was more than he imagined. He expected to be a chaste kiss. Or a little passionate one. But not like this. This was.... "Amazing."


	33. Chapter 33

Kanda let Allen pull himself away and smirk when he sees how flustered Allen is right now. When he heard what Allen said, Kanda's smirk only got bigger and he nods at Allen in agreement.  
Kanda then decided that maybe it is time now to go back to their rooms. Kanda then held Allen's hand gently before he began to pull Allen to walk. While walking, the atmosphere felt completely warm and loving. Kanda doesn't mind to do this every now and then.

Allen was glad that Kanda agreed with his words. Well he didn't expected to say otherwise. Especially since he initiated everything.   
This time Allen didn't whined like a little kid about him being taken in the room. Though he still wasn't tired, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't go there.   
He squeezed Kanda hand and he wrapped his tail around Kanda own as well. His mind was only at the kiss and how much he had liked it.

Kanda let Allen wrapped their tails together. Guiding in Allen in the room, he gently push Allen to seat down in the couch. He then put mugen on the top of the table. With how much time he was spending his time here, maybe he would have to get a sword rack. Then he goes back to Allen again.   
"I'm going to take a shower." Kanda said. "I'll be back later." Then Kanda kiss Allen's head before he leave.

Allen smiled as he watched Kanda leave. He actually mourns his lost presence. Even though he would be back only in a few minutes.   
Allen climbed in the bed and he wrapped his tail around his waist and looked at the ceiling happily. This day had made him the most happiest person ever.

Kanda goes back to his room and began to undress quickly. Pulling off his hair tie, his hair freely falsl down to his hips. Gathering his clothes to be put on the laundry bin, his eyebrow jump in curiosity when he saw his past dirty clothes isn't there anymore.  
Paying it no heed, he immediately enter the bathroom and open up a cold shower. A few minutes later, Kanda step out of the shower finally cleaned and fresh. Wiping himself dry, Kanda looks up for his clothes,. After wearing them, Kanda brush his teeth, and finally he was done.  
His only problem is his hair. Due to it being long, it takes longer to dry it out.  
Now, he leaves his room and goes to Allen's room.

In the meantime as Kanda was showering or taking a bath, Allen was bored as he was watching the ceiling. But at least he was happy. Because of the day events. And no boredom would defeat him.   
After a couple of minutes, he got up from the bed and walked in his room balcony. He was surprised to see that it's started to snow. And then he rememberes that it's winter. So it's normal to snow.   
The winter and snow are most of the time harsh and cold. But Allen always founded them beautiful, calm and relaxing.

Walking into Allen's room, Kanda was surprised to see Allen was not in the bed. Looking over his surrounding at the moment, there he spots Allen, standing alone in the balcony. Allen looks totally relaxed, and thoughtful. Walking over to the balcony, he finally saw what Allen is looking at.  
Today, it's snowing.  
Kanda blink in shock when he realizes that this would be the first time he would have to spend winter with Allen. In the past year that they have worked with the Order, they had only met a few handful times, mostly during in the fall and in spring. If he remembers it correctly, he and Allen spend their days with completing mission separately during those time.  
Feeling the temperature lowers down a bit, Kanda takes a coat from the closet and drape it over Allen.  
"What are you thinking, my love?" Kanda softly ask.

Allen was so focused on the white and pure snow that he had not noticed Kanda walking inside the balcony as well until he felt a coat drapped over his shoulders.   
He turned his head and smiled at Kanda softly. "I'm just gazing at the snow love. I don't think at anything. I always liked the snow. Despite its coldness. And I'm not cold. But thank you for the coat."

"No problem." Kanda said. He and Allen then watch the snow falls down gently. It is slowly covering the ground. Now that he sees the snow, somehow he felt that this season completely fits Allen. Like the other natures, it is beautiful and gentle. Yet it covers everything and sometimes very cruel and harsh.   
Just like Allen.

Allen peacefulness was disturbed when he heard a pop from behind him. He actually jumped on fear because he was once again focused on the falling snow that he was enjoying with his lover.   
"I swear uncle. That this days I'm going to kill you. So you better watch out while you sleep ", he said as he turned around to face Nea.

Nea chuckled not bothered about his nephew threat." Sorry for bothering you boys. And I know that it's pretty late. But I have a surprise for you. "Or he hopes that it would be a surprise.

Kanda didn't mind the interruption as much. He now had some clues about Neah's personalities and he decided to treat this noah as someone who is an earthworm. A srong wiggly earthworm appearing just out of nowhere whenever it wants to.  
Kanda che'd when he saw the earthworm tried to apologized with half-assed sincerity. He become curious though when the earthworm has said he has a surprise for them. Kanda think deeply about it? What could it be? Is it possibly...... the cure for the Neko?

"No Kanda. It's not the cure for Neko. It would take a while until it's finished",Nea said as he actually read Kanda mind.

Allen was actually half happy to hear that. He starts to like being a Neko. He watches as his uncle opened the door and two people entered. And that people being Cross and Tiedoll. Oh hell no..

As the door had opened and Tiedoll entered in the room with Cross his eyes landed immediately on his son and he rushed towards him, scooping him in his arms."Yu-kun. My beloved son. I'm glad to see you. "

Kanda immediately tried to dodge. Unfortunately, his opponent is none other than a general. Quickly captured by the gross man claiming him as his father, Kanda couldn't help but twitched.... badly. When he couldn't stand it anymore, he tried to draw Mugen out, only to realize that he had put Mugen in the table away from him.  
With no choice but to endure, Kanda stop all movement and let the old man fuss over him. The faster this man finished fussing, the faster this all nonsense ends. At the same time, he sees from the corner of his eyes, that the drunkard is teasing Allen.  
"Yu-kun." General Tiedoll began to address Kanda fondly. "Why do you have cat ears and cat tails?"  
"Shut up!" Unable to hold back himself, Kanda tried to hit the man back. Unfortunately he missed and now he can't hide his embarassed face from the old man.

Allen chuckled as he saw Tiedoll fuss over Kanda, he even ignored Cross teasing about his cat ears and tail. Seeing Kanda and the General like this was amusing. But that doesn't mean that he likes being near Cross. And his Damn uncle even left. "Damn him", he mumbled as he jumped from the balcony railing in the garden.   
"Why have you left? "Nea asked as he appeared behind Allen, scaring the boy.   
" Damn you uncle. And you know why I left. I don't like being near Cross. He brings troubles. Or bills. Why you even brought them here in the first place? "  
" Well you know that Cross know me that I'm trustworthy. So I payed the Generals a visit telling them that they can see you without the Order knowing. I thought that you would be happy to see them. "  
" Kanda. Maybe. Me. No way in hell. "

Finally, the terrible fussing and teasing was done. So Kanda decides to be direct to General Tiedoll. While crossing his arms, Kanda ask bluntly, "What are you doing here?"  
"We came here to check on you." General Tiedoll said warmly.  
"And?" Kanda pressed.  
"Why? Do I have to see my cute son for a reason?" General Tiedoll gushes.  
"Get on to the point!" Kanda barked angrily.   
"We are also here to tell you the current happenings in Order?" Tiedoll said with a smile. "I know you were worried about Marie?"  
"Marie is already an adult." Kanda huffs. "He can take care of himself."  
"How about Lenalee?" Tiedoll ask, still with a smile.  
"That girl is strong. Stronger than she thought." Kanda said dismissively. "The other bums there could cover her failings."  
"Is that the reason you willingly went with Allen?" General Tiedoll ask with a sharp eye. Kanda's eyes widen in shock and looks at the General. Then Kanda glared at him, almost triggered.   
"You..!!" Kanda said, aggrieved. He stops when he saw the old man looks at him sharply.  
"It's night, already." General Tiedoll said with a fond smile. "Let's continue this talk tomorrow."  
And now, since the generals are here to stay for the night, it seems that Kanda and Allen would have to sleep separately for now. Kanda sigh and began to look for ALlen.

Allen dismissed his uncle after he said his last words. He doesn't likes that the Generals are here. Especially since they are from the Order.   
"Hey Idiot apprentice. "  
Allen groaned as he heard Cross words. Why he can't get rid of him?" I'm not going to pay your debts anymore Cross. "  
" Oh. And I brought a lot of them. "  
Allen sighed and turned with his back at his Master." I'm not going back to that place. No matter what. Kanda, uncle and this mansion. Are my only family. "  
After he said that he turned around and walked back in the mansion only to get rid of Cross.

Kanda was trying to find where Allen is. Earlier, he lead the old man in one of the many bedrooms inside this mansion. When he goes back to Allen's room, Allen still wasn't in there yet. He peeked below the balcony, but no one was there. So he leave the room, and search in other places. Just as Kanda was about to go outside to find Allen, the door opens up just to show that Allen has just walk in.  
When Kanda look outside, he sees the lonely figure of Cross Marian. Kanda frowned a bit, but let it go as this has nothing to do with him. Besides, Allen is far more familiar with Cross, Allen knows what to do and not to do. With that thought, Kanda focus himself on Allen.  
"Let's go to the kitchen." Kanda said. "We have to talk."

Allen was extremely relieved and happy to see Kanda. Just seeing his face was making him forget about Cross presence and the trouble that he must have brought with him. Seriously. The man had took care of him. But he had been a pain in the ass most of the time.   
"Sure. We can talk in the kitchen ", Allen said as he wrapped his his arm around Kanda own a bit confused about the Japanese proposal.


	34. Chapter 34

While both of them walk to the kitchen, Kanda look curiously at the back, but since no one interfere, then he guess it was alright. Then they teach the kitchen. He pulls Allen to sit together on the chairs.  
As becoming a habit of his, Kanda begun to hugs Allen and gently pets him. Then he began to tell everything to Allen. He didn’t leave out anything.   
“The old man would probably meet you to see who you are but he won’t do anything else.” Kanda warn.  
“Also, we might have to sleep separately for tonight,” Kanda said, “just to keep my old man from fussing.”

Allen listened carefully to Kanda also offering his lover some purrs as he was swaying his tail a little.   
Well he wasn't actually surprised as he heard that. He knew that the General would talk Kanda into returning to the Order mentioning some people that he actually supports. He only hopes that he would not leave. Allen doesn't want to return to the Order. He likes to live in the mansion with his uncle. And more importantly with Kanda.   
"Well in comparison with mine. Your General is a kind person and I would have no problem in talking with him. And I really don't want to sleep in different rooms. But if that's what you want. Then I shall accept. "

Kanda twitch at that when he heard what Allen said. It was just that he heard what Allen. So in the end, it will be up to him whether he sleeps with Allen or not. Should they try sleeping separately or not? But thinking about what the old man might actually do, he hesitates a little.  
"If we sleep together tonight, someone uninvited will come sleep with us. Will that is okay with you?" If Allen is fine with it, then Kanda would sleep with Allen. Besides, Kanda could kick out the man if that person decides to be a nuisance.

Allen was a bit confused because he didn't understand Kanda words completely. But he smiled and cuddled on the chiar as close to Kanda as possible and he wrapped his tail around Kanda own.   
"I don't care about anything else as long as we would sleep in the same room. "  
There younger boy decide to act even more like a cat. So purring he rubbed his head against Kanda chest.

Kanda sees that Allen looks confused. So Kanda stiffly said, "It's possible that later, the old man will visit in my room, dressed in a ridiculous pajama."  
"I can kick him out," Kanda said. "But he will be very fussy. He would probably cry grossly."  
"Even if we accept him, he will be gross throughout the night." Kanda said. "He will be like Komui Lee if that man catches sight of Lenalee."

Allen face dropped as he heard that and he actually chuckled. And the man is a General. Really. He never expected for Tiedoll to act like this. Yes. He knew that he treats Kanda like his son and is very obsessed about him. But that's the definition of ridiculous. "Don't worry love. We can look your room and then no one would be able to enter anymore."

"Don't underestimate that old man." Kanda warned Allen. "If he decided on something, he would definitely be stubborn about it."  
"If he couldn't go in normally, he would break in." Kanda said. "If he couldn't break in, he wouldn't let you sleep until you face him."  
"For everything that you throw to him, he would definitely come back even more fussier." Kanda shuddered. "There was this one time he won't shut up about me being injured, I threw him a fucking pillow. He just went cooing at me being kinder now."

Allen laughed as he heard that. Even though Kanda was putting it like this. He was glad that Kanda has a General like him. "But Kanda. He loves you like you are his son. Of course he would act like this. Is pretty great if you ask me. But.. If you are so bothered we can go in another room. This Mansion has 20 bedrooms and many other rooms. He would get tired to search for you everywhere. "

Kanda shook his head. Well Allen would understand it enough later on. "No need." Kanda said drily. "If I am missing, then he would probably turn this mansion backwards just to find and fuss over me."   
Kanda thinks deeply on this matter. Since Allen was alright with it then Kanda would refuse to back out now. Most of his peaceful sleep is with Allen anyway.   
"Since, you were all right with him crashing in our room, then I will sleep with you." Kanda said. "We'll just have to find another bed for the old man to sleep on."

Allen was actually happy to hear that. He was glad that Kanda accepting his father or father figure. A thought had struck his mind and he sighed feeling badly. He got up from Kanda. "Than its planned. And the General can sleep very well on the room couch. It's big enough. Now if you excuse me. I want to talk with Cross a little. I was a bit of a jerk earlier."

Kanda nods at Allen. He, then let go of Allen and watch Allen walks away. Kanda then began to walk to around the mansion. Now that everything is settled and Allen is away to talk with Cross, Kanda promptly decided to go to the meditation room. No matter how short his time would be, it would be pretty useful if he gather enough patience to deal with the old man. Not only that, but he might also deals with Cross later on. Passing over where the old man was staying, Kanda conveniently did not say anything and ignore the room there. He quickly cross over to another hallway to reach the meditation room.  
Finally some peace. Kanda quickly sat down in lotus position and began to meditate.

Allen sighed as he arrived in the garden knowing that Cross was there. And sure enough he saw the man on the bench looking at the sky and smoking.   
Cross always loved this place of the mansion. Smoking or not. "Yo Idiot apprentice. What brings you here?", he asked without looking at him.   
Allen took a deep breath and took a seat beside Cross. "I want to.."   
"Let me stop you here. I don't want your apologies. I wouldn't have admitted that you are my apprentice if you don't act like a jerk. "Cross faced him and smiled a little as he ruffled the white hair.   
" I'm glad to see you again. But please don't make me go back there. "  
" The feeling is mutual. And Allen. I will not force you to go back to the Order if you don't want to. You know that I hate the place as well. "  
Allen smiled and he hugged the man, making him a bit surprised but he wrapped an arm around him as well.

Kanda meditates in the meditation room. Breathing in, breathing out, he releases all his negative emotions at the moment. The annoyance, the frustation, and the irritation simmering below his skin. With a last breath, Kanda releases them all.  
Then he heard someone.  
"Yuu-chan~"   
"Come to papa~"  
All at once, the patience that Kanda has painstakingly gathered, drained out. Kanda's eyebrows twitch in irritation. Thinking that the old man would soon barge in here, Kanda escaped through the window.

Allen was gazing at the sky with Cross. It's was a really nice and comfortable atmosphere. His ears twitched as he heard something from behind him.   
"It's something wrong? "Cross asked as he saw the twitching with the corner of his eyes.   
Looking behind him he saw Kanda that had jumped from the window and he knew why.   
" Oi she-man ", Cross yelled as he too saw Kanda." Get over here."

As he jumped down the window, Kanda notice that Allen and Cross was there. If he had only known that they were there, Kanda would have jumped from a different side of window. Then he heard what the general called him,  
She-man....  
Does he look like a fucking woman?!  
His patience has hit the bottom rock.  
Tilting his chin up a bit and conveying within in his eyes on how he wants to kill Cross so badly, Kanda answers, "What do you want Drunkard-whore?"

Allen groaned as he heard both Cross nickname and Kanda own. Great. Allen closed his eyes and pretend that neither are there.   
Cross grinned and walked in front of Kanda with his gun out.  
"So Allen had told me a little story about you two being together. Now I don't have problems with him dating guys. But listen here. If I found out. And I will. That he you had hurt him in the slightest way possible. I will not hesitate to fill you with holes. "

Kanda stand his ground and look at the General straight to the eyes. His eyes and tail somehow conveying his seriousness.  
“Don’t worry, if I actually hurt Allen purposely and intentionally, I would be the first to gut myself to death.” Kanda said seriously before he closes his eyes  
“You’re not as bad as I thought.” Kanda said. Suddenly, his eyes open and glared murderously at the General. “But if you tried to treat him the same way as before, even if you are a general, I will find a way to kill you.”  
Kanda stood his ground, and stare down at Cross.

Cross smirked as he heard the threat. He wasn't affected by it at all. But he had to admit. "You have courage boy. I admit that. And who knows. Maybe I will change. Maybe not. But that doesn't mean that I don't care about the boy. Now", Cross made sign to Allen to come beside them and the boy obliged without an hesitantion. "I doubt that your General had told you something. But I need to tell you two something about half of your friends from the Order. Something that you would not be so pleased about it."

Kanda immediately goes to Allen’s side. If in Cross definition, this is not a good news, then Kanda have to be ready for it. If Allen need support, Kanda would be here for him.  
With Allen in his side, Kanda faces Cross, wary about the news. How bad could it be? Kanda shakes his head mentally, instead he steels his heart and expect for the worst possible outcome.

Allen was greatful for Kanda presence. Especially not knowing what news would receive. But looking at Cross serious expression. He knew that it must be bad.

"The Supervisor and the science division don't know about that. But it would not be long until they would found out. Besides the Generals how have no business and no intend on doing this thing, Bookman and Bookman Jr. As well as Krory, Miranda and Marie.And neither the other Branches don't know about it. Your friend Lenalee and together with almost half of the Order besides the mentioned one think that Allen is a traitor that joined the Earl side. Kanda. About you they don't know that you are a traitor. But that you have been kidnapped by Allen. They want to convince the Vatican and Central, to hunt for my idiot apprentice and to kill him and free you Kanda. "

Kanda frowned immediately. It took a moment to process it and it certainly surprised him. He wasn’t really surprised that the Order make it seems as if he was kidnapped, nor that the other branches knew about this. This will not be the first time the Order will twist and hide the news for their own benefit.  
And though the people mentioned above reacted accordingly to what he has expected, he never expect to see that one has reacted differently.  
Lenalee Lee.  
Instantly, Kanda look at Allen to see his reaction and decided to immediately hug him in comfort.

Allen was just a little bit surprised about the news. Really. After all. He knew that the Order view had changed on him after the whole Ark thing and the 14th that is his uncle. He knew that the people were pretty much hating him and think of him as a traitor. Though he had expected for his friends to be at his side all the time. But apparently not all of them are anymore.   
Allen smiled a little and hugged Kanda. "I'm fine love. Don't worry about it. It's wasn't unexpected for me to hear."

Kanda raised an eyebrow at that but still continue to hug Allen. If Allen is fine, then that is for the best. As long as he wasn’t hurt by it, then every thing is fine for him. However, he is too lazy to let go Allen so he continues to hug him.   
Kanda thinks about it. “Komui Lee? Reever?”

Allen smiled even more as he could feel that Kanda was to lazy to let go. Cat instinct. He knew that cats are most of the time lazy. He never expected that would be as well. But at least he was enjoying the hug. So he didn't pulled away either.

"Like I said. Komui doesn't the science division don't know anything. But it would not take long until they would find out. "

“What would you do now?” Kanda asked the general. “Also the old man?  
Now that Kanda thinks about it, isn’t he supposed to escape from the old man. With dread pooling up in his body, Kanda look around his surrounding. From left to right and from his back, there is no sign of the old man. That probably means...  
“Yu-chan~.” Shouted by a certain general from a certain window.  
Kanda look at the general and couldn’t help but step back. In the process he almost let go of Allen. Instead, he pulled Allen along with him.  
Looking at the old man who descends from the window, gently, that annoying face shows up once more.  
“Yu-chan. Why are you running away from me?” General Tiedoll ask him.  
“Disgusting.” Kanda spat out immediately.

Not wanting to be part of the soap opera Cross didn't said anything else and he walked back inside towards the laboratory. He plans on annoying Nea like he did most of the time in the past.

Allen chuckled as he saw Kanda reaction. Really the thing is really amusing. Though he didn't understand why Kanda can't see that Tiedoll loves him like a father love his child. Even though sometimes he's to much.

“Go back to your room. We are going to sleep now.” Kanda said.   
“But Yu-chan!!!” Froi Tiedoll said. “Father misses you. Won’t you give him a good night hug?”  
Kanda throughly shivers in disgust.  
“No.” Kanda immediate answer didn’t affect the general the slightest.  
“You’re going to sleep now?” General Tiedoll ask. “Can father sleep with you?”  
An angry mark appears in Kanda’s head. “NO!”  
He kicks the man, not too roughly, away and pull Allen into the mansion. Then he led Allen to his room.  
He lets go of Allen and sit at the couch to seethe in annoyance.

Even though Kanda is pretty annoyed about the situation, Allen couldn't help but be amused. Especially by the man insistence. At least this small thing was making him forget about everything that is bad.   
Allen took a seat on the couch beside Kanda and he wrapped an arm around his shoulders, smiling softly at him. "Why are you so annoyed about the situation love. The General acts like this because he cares about you and he loves you. You know that."

Kanda shook his head. Even though it was General Tiedoll, that man always look gross, freely giving out love confessions every now and then. The only one worser than the general is probably Komui Lee. Kanda sighed his head. "Ever since before we have been like this. Don't mind it?" Kanda said.

Allen chuckled as an thought come out in his mind and he wrapped both his arms around Kanda and laid his head on his shoulder. "I don't change my mind about this being cute and nice. But you should be greatful that your innocence isn't ally with Tiedoll."

Kanda shuddered just thinking about it. If ever the two of them meet up and become allies, Kanda would probably die with all the fussing. Looking at the table, he somehow sees the sword gleaming menacingly. Kanda glared at the sword and ignore the cold sweat or the goosebumps the broke out from his body.  
"Are you really ok?" Kanda ask rubbing Allen's hand with his fingers. After all, Allen has learned that one of his friends believes him as a traitor.

Even though for Kanda it will be an horrible thing. For him it would still be cute to watch. And who knows. Maybe Kanda would get used to it.  
Allen sighed as he heard the question. "Yes, love. I'm alright. Even since the whole Ark thing people started to distance themselves from me. They were starting to think me as a traitor. And I thought that my friends would be with me. But apparently not all are. But no less. I'm alright. I'm used to it. And also for me it's enough to just have you with me. "

Kanda pursed his lips together. Unfortunately, Kanda was too familiar with this kind of thing. He just never expected for the person it turn out to be will be Lenalee. Kanda sigh.   
Kanda look again at Allen. He looks for any distress. All he sees is sadness and resignation. Kanda turn his body and hugs Allen tightly. "I will never abandon you.".

 


	35. Chapter 35

Allen smiled softly as Kanda hugged him once again. But as he also heard his sincere words. He tightened his hold on Kanda as well and he also wrapped his tail around Kanda waist.  
"I know that you would not doing it,love. And no matter what would happen from no one. I will not abandon you either. "

Kanda hummed softly in agreement. He pets Allen a little bit. Then he stands up before pulling Allen up as well. "Let's sleep for now." Kanda said. "Tomorrow, we still have something to do. I have no doubt that the old man would talk to you and we still have to know what to the generals will do for now."

Allen nodded and he threw himself in the bed. Even though earlier wasn't tired. At all. Now after everything that happened soon enough he's a bit tired. Hopefully the next day would not bring any bad news. For neither of them.

Kanda followed Allen in a sedate pace. Soon he also lies back to their bed with Allen. There he he faces Allen and hold his hand gently. With a quick peck, Kanda bids Allen a good night. Then he pulls Allen to his arms, embracing him. As he waits for Allen to sleep, Kanda began to pet Allen's head. Soon , Kanda also fell asleep.

Allen had fallen asleep purring because of his beloved one petting. He had also falled asleep because he was in the arms of the one who is loving so much.   
The next morning Allen hadn't been awake by an explosion anymore. But by the sunlight that was entering in the room and by the birds songs.

Kanda sleep soundly that night. The next day he also woke up early. Seeing that Allen has woken up already, Kanda tugs gently at Allen's hair.  
"Mornin—" Unfortunately, Kanda never manage to finish his greeting when a loud set of knocks immediately bang in their door.  
Kanda groaned loudly.  
"This is too early for his fussy shit." Kanda muttered under his breath.

Allen face dropped as he heard the bang and by the loud bang he knew who it was. Great.   
"Ignore it and he would leave ", Allen wishpered to Kanda and he tucked his face in his loved one neck.   
He doesn't want to move from Kanda and neither to get up from the bed. He was feeling lazy.

"Ok." Kanda said simply. He is too lazy to do anything else. So here he goes, just cuddling with Allen.  
Meanwhile, on the other side of the door.   
"What the hell are you doing?!" Marian Cross grumbled angrily at General Tiedoll, just getting out fro his room.   
"Just greeting them a happy morning." General Tiedoll answers back.  
General Cross Marian stares back in disbelief. "If you really are that fussy, you should have just barged in. Not create a cacophony of sounds."  
"Even I am not that low." Here General Tiedoll look down at Marian Cross with a serene face. Somehow, Cross knew that statement was an attack to him.  
"Bastard." Marian Cross bit out and almost laugh out loud in anger.

Allen was glad that Kanda had listened to his words. He burrowed himself as closer to him as possible and he lowered his ears a little just so he could muffle the sound from the hallway. He wants to pretend that no one is outside. He looked at Kanda a little and smiled as he rubbed his head against Kanda chest meowing and purring. He loves being half cat as much as he loves being together with Kanda.

Kanda cuddles up with Allen. He pets him and he hugs him. Kanda is feeling a little bit lazy. Unfortunately, sooner or later, they would have to go out from this bed.   
"Love, let's get up." Kanda said. Kanda then gets up to get ready for the day. He goes insde the bathroom to wash up his face and his mouth. He ties up his hair neatly once more and change in some clothes. Then he goes out the bathroom.

Allen groaned as he heard that they had to get up from the bed. He's no ready to face the world yet.   
But as soon as Kanda had got out from the bathroom, Nea appeared in the room as well. His face wasn't present a smile or an apologetic look. But he was looking very seriously.   
"I talked with the two Generals an hour ago. And Kanda yours told me something that Cross said that it's better to tell you two. "

Kanda ignored the noah and goes to Allen. He gently carries Alllen up and goes to the bathroom. There Kanda leaves Allen in the bathroom to clean himself up. Kanda goes outside again to find the noah staring dumbly at him. Kanda frowned sharply at the noah. "Where?"

Nea sighed as he saw Kanda taking his nephew out.   
Also instead of cleaning Allen was staying beside the door using his enhanced hearing to listen to the conversation.   
"The two Generals said that it's better that later today to return with them to the Order and explain everyone about the misunderstanding about your kidnapped by Allen. You could tell them that Tyki and Sheryl had took you instead. Something that it's true. "

Kanda huffs a mocking laugh. "No."  
Thinking about it, he would rather not leave Allen here. Bringing Allen back to the Order would just be asking to be attacked. So no he wouldn't really leave Allen here.  
"Is that all?" Kanda ask.

Nea looked at Kanda with a serious expression and was a bit shocked by the answer.   
"Your General had proposed that thing. If you don't believe me. Then go ask him. But it's necessary to go there. And hopefully after everything would go well you can return back here. I didn't told you that you can't return. "

"My answer will be no." Kanda said firmly. For him, he doesn't see the benefit of telling the order about what happened nor did he have the confidence about them not attacking Allen.  
Kanda began to walk again, this time near int the bathroom. He knocks on the door. "Are you finished?" Kanda said. "We have to go."

So that were Nea news. And even though he knew that Kanda wants just to protect him. For him it's sounding like a good plan and ideas.   
As he heard Kanda voice, Allen immediately cleaned himself a little before he go out from the bathroom.   
"Yes. Where do you want to go? "

Kand observes Allen and approves a little.  
"The generals have called us." Kanda said. "They have something to say to us."  
Kanda has been thinking about what the worm said to him. It seems that the old man has something up in his sleeves. Kanda worries about Allen and how he will react.

"The thing that the Generals want to tell us is about you going to the Order to stop the thing and clarify the misunderstanding about me being a traitor and kidnapping you. Right? Because if is this then I already know as I heard the conversation between you and uncle. "

Kanda stopped. “So you hear what that noah said.” He turns to look at Allen. “You don’t seem angry at all. I wonder what are you thinking?”  
Kanda frowned a little at Allen. “You can’t be thinking that I should go clean up the misunderstanding, are you?”

Allen sighed and looked down. He doesn't have a motive to be angry. At all. After a couple of seconds he raised his head to look at Kanda with a serious expression.   
"I don't want for you to go. Really. I will even lock you in the room to stop you from leaving. And even though I don't want to. This sounds like a good idea. But it's only depending on your choice. "

"Depending on my choice, huh." Kanda echoes back. "In the first place why do you even want me to go back? Why do you think it was a good idea? You do know this could be a trap, right?"  
"If I go back there, you do know that means we will be entering the war again. That means, we won't be able to rest up anymore. We will have to focus our energy on surviving once more. Is that alright with you?"

Allen sighed as he heard Kanda words. Yes. His lover couldn't be more right about it. And he doesn't want for the Order to take Kanda away from him.   
"I don't want you back there. I don't want you to be taken away from me. I love you too much and I don't want to lose you. Not to this dammed war. I thought that it would be good to show them that you are safe. But if you don't want to go. Then I will not force you to leave. Not now. Not ever. "

Kanda sighed. He steps closer to Allen and hugs him gently. There he slowly comforts Allen. Still, something bothered him. The noah said earlier that it was the old man who suggest to do this earlier. What do they plan anyway?  
Kanda steps back again. "Let's go to the general and says to them that we refuse."

Allen smiled glad that Kanda chose to stay instead of leaving.   
Feeling a bit lazy as he was a half cat now, something that is a bid strange for him. As he wasn't very lazy before that. But also wanting to tease Kanda a little, Allen walked behind Kanda and jumped in his back. "Carry me love. Please."

Kanda rolled his eyes knowing the reason why Allen wants to be carried back. Since Allen wants to be carried, Kanda decided to tease him a little. How would Allen reacts if the generals see Kanda princess carry Allen? It would surely made them look dumb. Allen might even blush.  
So without hesitation, Kanda immediately carries Allen in a princess carry and go to where the generals are.

Allen blushed because he hadn't meant to be carried like this.   
Apparently he's not the only he could tease. His blush intensified as they arrived in the kitchen that was almost filled with smoke from Cross cigarettes.

Cross turned his attention from the window as he heard someone entering and as he saw how Kanda was carrying his idiot apprentice he couldn't help but burst in laughter.

Kanda smirks a bit when he saw his Allen blushed. Entering the kitchen, he felt even a bit more proud when the generals reacted. While he hope for something more embarrassing reaction from Cross, he doesn't really mind the laugh. It was the old man's reaction he was anticipating. Just as he expected, that man was frozen stiff, his face shocked. At last, sweet, sweet silence has come.

Cross continued to laugh for a few more minutes and at the end he nudged Tiedoll with his elbow.   
"Why aren't you laughing. It's fun. "

Allen wasn't surprised as Cross laughed at their entrance. Sometimes he either find something funny on everything or is an asshole who laughs at his embarrassment. He wonders if Tiedoll reaction is a good thing or not.

Kandawas surprised to see the old man become immediately composed. Wan't this man supposed to fussed over him?  
"I see, so in the end, even Yu-kun would leave my nest." the old man stated quite calmly. Kanda was about to sigh in relief when he saw how calm the old man is until he saw the crocodile tears pooling on the old man's eyes. Somehow, he knew that the old man would fuss more than ever.  
He was right.  
"I-I'm so happy, that Yu-kun has found someone b-but!" the old man suddenly gained a strange gleam in his eyes. He continues to cry. Kanda couldn't help himself anymore. He let down Allen to confront the old man. The next thing he knew, both the old man and Allen was gone.


	36. Chapter 36

Allen face dropped a little as be saw Tiedoll reaction and looking a little at Cross he saw that he was about to burst in laughing anytime soon. But he couldn't blame him. He was about to start laughing as soon.   
But before he could do that Kanda had let go of him and he felt himself being grabbed by the old man and rushed out from the kitchen.   
"It's something wrong?"Allen asked as he moved away from the man.

General Froi Tiedoll quickly stop the crocodile tears and look at Allen with a serene but serious face. "I didn't expect for Yuu to fall in love with you." Froi said softly. "That child was more stubborn than anyone I have ever met. He was too headstrong and he only have one-track mind. Regardless of anything, Kanda will do anything to accomplish his goals before getting sidetracked like this. So I wonder, how did he fall in love with you?"

"This things aren't new to me. Even though I don't know Kanda for as much as you do, I know him very well to know his attitude and everything." Allen wondered if he should take the question about how Kanda had fallen from him as a bad thing or not. "It's happened a few weeks ago while we are in a mission and earlier in the forest our love had become even strong. I think we both realized that we have at least an thing in common. And it's was enough to fall in love with each other."

"I see." Tiedoll said not quite frowning but his face is not as serene as before. Tiedoll sigh tiredly. "Whatever the reason why Yuu has fallen in love with you, I won't pry it anymore. From the start, I have already seen within my eyes how Yuu adores you." Tiedoll said. "I was just shocked at how close you have been when only 2 months has passed by."  
"So I'm going to tell you this." Froi Tiedoll said. "I only wish you to do one thing for Kanda. By accepting him, vow to me you would never abandon Kanda in this life."

"Me and Kanda had been very close to each since we started our relationship. And don't worry about it. I already told Kanda that I will not abandon him. But I can vow that to you too as well General. I will never abandon Kanda. And nothing and no one would make me leave Kanda. I love him to much to do that. "

"That's fine then. I will leave Kanda to your capable hands." Tiedoll said finally smiling. "If the both you love each other this much, then there is no reason to let Kanda come back to the Order. It seems that I will only have to find ways to clear up the misunderstanding that you have kidnapped Kanda all this time."  
"Tiedoll point his forefinger up. "It's time to go back now. Yu-chan and Cross might have been bored waiting for both of us."

Allen sighed in relief as he heard that Tiedoll would not made Kanda to return to the Order. "You don't know how happy I'm to hear that. I don't want to lose Kanda ever. Especially to a place like a Order and to this stupid war."   
Allen told the man as they walked towards the kitchen to see Cross smoking without paying attention to Kanda. Except for the occasional time as he was blowing smoke from his cigarettes in Kanda face.

Kanda glared at the man murderously but he didn't do anything. The reason for that is because even if he does something, that drunken whore would just bat his efforts away. Instead of doing something that would go by the man's expecation, Kanda decided to behave instead. Sooner or later that man would tire from doing it. Then Allen and the old man came in.  
"Finally finished talking." Kanda said. Then he turn to the old man and asked threateningly, "You didn't say anything weird, do you?"

Allen glared at his master and he took the cigarette from him. "Don't do this shit in front of my lover", he said as he took a seat on Kanda lap.   
"Hah. You've become more daring boy. "  
Allen rolled his eyes and decided to ignore his master words and he looked at Kanda with a soft smile." He didn't said anything weird love. Just words that a father would said to make sure that his son would not be hurt. "

Somehow that statement got Kanda frowned further. Thinking about it, after ignoring the sugary words itself, the meaning in it doesn't seem anything to be weird. so Kanda only grunt in agreement. "Now that you are all here, could someone tell us the reason why you want me to go back to the Order? You don't actually think that I would believe that the reason to go back is to simply clear Allen's name."

"Psshh. I don't care if you are going back to the Order or not. I hate that place. For my opinion it could burn down", Cross said without caring in the world.   
Allen sighed and slapped his forehead as he heard Cross. Normal. It's was something that Cross would said.   
"Kanda. General Tiedoll said that you don't need to return back to the Order. "

"Since Yuu-kun is so happy here. I also think it would be better if you don't go back to the Order anymore." General Froi said. "I only have to know what happen to you and Allen in these past few months."  
"Sure." Kanda said. "I will tell you everything if you actually tell me what is really happening at the Order."

"I already told you that it's the stupid protest going on there. I don't know if it's something else wrong. I don't spend so much time there."   
Allen rolled his eyes as he heard that. Of course Cross would not stay at the Order anymore. And he was glad that Kanda would not return there anymore. But he wonders why he's interested to know what is really happening there. Sincerely Allen isn't interested about it. At all.

"It is as Cross said. The unrest in the Order was getting heavier. Tension is almost high in there." General Tiedoll said. "One of the events that happened there is that the there is a new 3rd exorcist project."  
"Originally, the reason that I want you to go back there is because of them. I thought you would appreciate knowing about them." The old man smiled at Kanda.  
Kanda scoffed at the man. "So that's what it was all about. It's nothing to get worked about it anyway."

Allen didn't uttered any words as he listened to Tiedoll explanation. He also looked a bit confused at Kanda because he wonder if the Third Project Exorcists is exactly like what Kanda had gone through. And if it's an Yes. Then from him it's a big no. He wants for Kanda to forget about the horrors. Not to remember it talking with that people. Hopefully Kanda would still refuse to go.

"I'm just telling you this because it seems that there is something more about the third exorcist project." The general said to Kanda. "This is more of a warning that if you ever meet them."  
Kanda turned away from the old man, saying only, "Che."  
Kanda closes his eyes, and said, "And Marie?"  
"He was fine." General Tiedoll said. "He is wary but nothing much happened about him."  
"Then there is nothing to worry about." Kanda said with a decisive tone.

Well Allen was relieved of Kanda answer. Because he knew that he would not leave back to the Order to not meet the new exorcists.   
Cross decided to talk once again after he listened without interest.   
"I heard about the Third Project Exorcists. That kids are half human and half Akuma. Pretty shitty things. Maybe this time the Order would fry now that he did something as stupid as this. "

Kanda's eyes open up, shocked. A half human and a half akuma. If Kanda is anymore religious, he would call it heretic, a sin against God and humanity itself. It was so ironic that it was the Order itself who created this abomination. Are the higher ups that greedy and desperate for power?  
Snapping away from his thoughts, he immediately look at Allen. For someone who can see akumas, how will this turned out? Kanda quickly grab Allen's hand and comfort him through it.

Allen was shocked as well because he never expected for the Order to do such a thing.   
He turned to look at Kanda as he felt him holding his hand and he smiled a little.   
"Master I guess that this time you couldn't be more right. If they are so desperate to win this war so much to do such a thing then they really fry themselves. Especially if they are half Akuma. They are really stupid. "

"Since you held up the deal then it just right that we have to tell what happened." Kanda said. "I'm going to explain it only once."  
Kanda then began to tell what happened, from the mission that goes astray, to the noah who has manage to kidnap him, to Allen who has save him. As for the other things such as Allen's innocence and his innocence, he figured out he will leave it to Allen if he should say it or not. As well the information about Mana and the Earl, he entrusted it to him.

Allen was surprised as he heard that Kanda decided to tell them about what happened. Especially about the whole kidnapping and torture. And looking at Tiedoll he saw the shook on the man face.   
And after Kanda finished the story Allen took a deep breath and began to tell the Generals about their innocence taking human form and about his being the Heart and also about the Earl being Mana.   
"Did you heard Tiedoll. Apparently you have a rival to she man affection. Also idiot apprentice I knew about your innocence from the beginning. Also about the Earl as well. "  
" What? "Allen asked shocked." And why you didn't told me?"  
"To protect you from the cruel truth. "

Kanda grips Allen's hand tighter. "Then you must have known what happened 35 years ago?" Kanda glared at the drunkard whore. This person is probably the same as Neah. He is someone who is involved 35 years ago with the past Allen and the past Kanda. And he hid the truth to protect his Allen. At this Kanda has nothing to say. Only Allen has the right to get angry at the man who apprenticed him.

Cross sighed. Well he should be have expected to that question.   
"Yes. I know what happened. I don't know at what you are referring because many things had happened then. But maybe my idiot apprentice wants to know about Mana.. 35 five years ago the Noah weren't like this. There were like humans. So it's was easier to live around them. Nea was Noah as well. But Mana was human. Then the Milenium Earl was someone called Adam that was using only Akuma. But soon he started to control the Noah as well. The only unaffected being Nea that managed to destroy them all except the Earl and Road. To get revenge the Earl arranged to kill both Allen and Kanda from the past because they were close to Nea and also he sent his all essence and power in Mana. Thus him being the next Earl. "

Kanda frowned at the information. So Noahs are originally more human like. Mana, Neah and Adam are three separate entities with Mana being the only human. And the reason why he was killed, why Allen was killed is because of revenge from the Earl. There is many things that is bugging him off.  
"Black Order was already an organization before. How do they fit in? And who am I and Allen in the past life?" Kanda asked Cross.

"I don't know to much about the Black Order by that time because I wasn't an exorcist then. I became one 10 years later. The only exorcists that were then and was living in this mansion with us was you and Maria. But I don't think that it's was to different from now. And like I said. You were still and Exorcists and Allen was my scientist apprentice and a Bookman in the same time. "

Froi Tiedoll look at the worsening atmosphere. He decided that it was better to wrap this up soon. "I think it's time for me to leave now. I was only here after all to warn you about the third exorcist." Tiedoll said to Kanda. "As for the Earl, here is my advice, whatever happen, just follow what you think is right and correct. This advice isn't much but may it help you along your journey."

Even though Cross was very serious and truthful as he told them about their past life,Allen couldn't help but have his face dropped as he heard that even in his past life he was this man apprentice. Though he was also surprised about the whole Bookman thing and now he was even more convinced that everything his uncle told him about Mana being the Earl was right.

Kanda sighed and glared at Cross. Actually he understand where Cross is coming from. You can't exactly tell a child what happened. Unfortunately, Cross didn't tell the truth when he as a chance. If he actually did tell, maybe they aren't in this situation. Things just keep getting bitter and bitter. Right now, What Allen needs a support. So without hesitation, he takes Allen into another room to gain a breather.

Allen was surprised at Kanda sudden move of taking him in another room but he didn't fought about it.   
"It's something wrong Kanda? "Allen asked a bit worried and confused about why he was brought in another room as he closed the door after him.

" You didn't hold anything. You spoke the truth without hesitantion but you didn't told them about the other problem ", Nea said as he appeared beside Cross.   
" And how could I do that if the she man had took Allen away. Plus I don't think that we should worry about that yet. "

"How are you?" Kanda muttered. Now, he felt like what he did was just ultimately stupid. Still he would have done it. Just now the atmosphere was really suffocating. Even though the old man tried to ease it up nothing happened. Kanda doesn't even knew if Allen was too shocked to react or has completely shut off. What he know is that Allen is not reacting. That's why he brought him here.  
Kanda hugs Allen.

Allen was once again surprised about the fact that Kanda had hugged him. But he hugged the Japanese back. He realized that he was probably doing this because of Mana.   
"Kanda. We have gone through this before. When Nea had told me the truth about the Earl. And even though it's hard I'm getting used to it. "

Kanda doesn't know whether to hit the moyashi or not. And here he thought that Allen was not alright because even Cross has lied to him. Maybe Kanda has overestimated how important Cross really is to Allen. He huffs a laugh and decided to tease Allen instead. "Then I guess you don't want me to you." Kanda said, a teasing smirk in his face.

Allen chuckled as Kanda decided to tease him. This was one of the things that was always making him happy.   
"You know that I always want you. You are my special person. And I'm not very affected by the fact that Cross had lied me because he did it many times and also I knew that he wanted me to protect me from the truth. Even though I had to live with the guilt of thinking that I killed my father. "

Kanda hummed in agreement. "I see."  
"Do you believe what Cross has said?" Kanda suddenly ask Allen. Somehow he can't fathom that the Earl would still kill the past him and the past Allen, when he has already killed the said noah. Not only that, but he also wants to know, how is Allen now connected to Neah in the present day? How come he become the 14th noah and how did he reborn once more? Kanda tell those questions to Allen

"I believe Cross words because when he wants Cross can be as serious and truthful as possible. I saw it on his expression. Believe me. I lived with him for a few years and I know him the best. And believe me the whole connection that I know that is between me and Nea is that he's my uncle. But I don't know why I have the 14th powers and how did I reborned. "

"Then we'll have to go back again." Kanda simply said. "Are you ready?" Then he took Allen's hand and both of them go back to the place where Cross Marian is there. Coincidentally, the old man was still there.  
"Why are you still here?" Kanda asked.  
"I decided to delay my departure and decided to become an emotional support at the moment." Tiedoll said serenely.

Allen snorted trying to keep his laugh for himself as he heard Tiedoll words. Yes. There something that he would definitely do.   
"You. The boys are back. Good. Because you need to eat as well. "Nea said as he put two plates of food on the table and he gave Cross as knowing look. And Cross answer would was blowing smoke in the man face.

Kanda sits at the chair after he sees Allen sits down in another chair. Then he looks neutrally at Cross and Neah. Thinking about it, it would probably be better if both of them are here to talk what happened 35 years ago. So he points to the Neah with a fork and said, "Sit down. We have a lot to talk about."  
"How did you and Allen reborn in one body?" Kanda ask bluntly.

Nea took a seat on a chair but he never expected to hear that question. Even though his memories about 35 years ago are a bit fuzzy he could remember very well how that happened.   
"I wanted to save Allen by sending my being and essence in him to heal him. And after that I will have left his body. But when I do that not only was to late but it affected me as well and killed me as well because I was badly injured. And when Allen had been reborn because of what I did, had made me reaper in his mind and body once again."

"reaper?" Kanda asked confused. "Tell me if I'm right. You killed the noahs, and the Earl killed you on the same day. So where did Allen come from? Don't tell me, it was not only you that time who were killing the noahs?"  
Kanda is now confused. "When did you send the essence anyway?"

"Yes you are right. The only Noah that I hadn't managed to kill was Road that is the oldest Noah. Anyway I didn't know exactly from where Allen had come from. But I was the only one who killed them. Because I was the most powerful from them. Allen was almost dying then and when the Earl had injured me I literally sent my soul in him, in that moment. "

"So by giving your essence to him, you not only reborn together with him. You also made Allen the new 14th noah." Kanda said. "Is Allen still the noah now or are you completely separate now?"  
"Before that I would like to ask." Tiedoll said. "I from the very start you were with Allen, then why did Crown Clown connect with Allen? And I'm asking Crown Clown."


	37. Chapter 37

As he heard Tiedoll words Allen braced himself for the pain of having him arm ripped away to start. But as his innocence had ripped himself from his body he didn't feel anything. He was even conscious.   
Crown Clown took his usual human form that was looking like Kanda with his white furry clothes.   
"That's a good question. I chose Allen from birth because I knew that he would be a special and different person. I knew that he would do greater things. And despite having the Noah I decided that it's was worthy to be my host. The Heart host. "

Kanda wasn’t surprised anymore as he had known it long ago. The innocence have already told him before. However, the general’s reactions are priceless.   
The old man is especially shocked. His jaw was hanging a little in surprise. And then he stands up straight before and closes his eyes and muttered, “My God.”  
Opening his eyes, he sigh heavily. Then he sags looking older than he’d ever been.   
“To think that the host for the heart innocence has been branded by the Order, criminal.”

Allen half expected for that to happen. After all they all searched for the Heart for so long. And all this time it's was under their nose. And then with the whole Order thing and other bullshit. He knew that the man would be surprised or shocked.

"Yeah ", Crown Clown said with an unpleasant expression on his face." I know that and I'm not very happy about it. Though it's not like I will let my host to return to that cursed place. I will destroy it before it happens. "

Putting that statement into an image, Kanda couldn’t help but snort a bit in the irony of it. How would one feel, that the reason the Order got destroyed is by the very thing that gives them hope? It’s a little funny but mostly pathetic.

“I figured out you wouldn’t be amenable for that.” Tiedoll sigh. Honestly, as General Tiedoll, he thinks that Allen should come back to the Order. However, as only Tiedoll, he only sees how it will be detrimental not only to Allen but to Kanda as well.  
As always, he follow his own human judgement instead of adhering to his general exorcist side.

Allen actually believes that his innocence would do such a thing and looking at Kanda a little he saw that he believes the same thing.

"Of course I wouldn't. Listen here. When an innocence becomes human, like me and my older sister Mugen, they became like a parent to their host. And you can say that I become like Allen father. My boy had helped the Order so much and risked a lot of things. Why? To be branded as a traitor later? That's so stupid and selfish. That's why I will not let him return there and I will not do it either. If you want to win this war. Well you would need to do it without my help. "

“Sister.” Tiedoll said in surprise. He wasn’t quite sure how that happened. “As the heart are you not the oldest innocence out there? How come Mugen has become your older sister?”

Even Kanda himself is a little surprise. He never thought that his innocence has some seniority over the heart. In fact in the first place, he was surprised that innocence have a family structure.

"On the contrary. I'm the youngest Innocence. The last that had been created. And yes. Mugen is my sister. Like other innocence are my brothers and sisters. Before God had sent us to Earth and to find our host he decides to gave us the supreme power, to put it like this. And he said that we need to be worthy for it. Then all of us had human form. And after complicated tests, that I will not spend time to tell you about, God decided that I was worthy. Despite being the last created. So. He had gave me the Supreme power. The Power to be tied to all the innocence and many others. And I became what you exorcists call. The Heart. "

Tiedoll sigh about the sudden influx information he has heard. This information, if they can become humans, doesn’t that means that they are another species altogether. In all his life, he never has thought that he would see them. Some days he even thought them just to be myths and legends. Yet, they might be standing in front of him.  
“Are you possibly angels created by God?” Tiedoll ask. Thinking about it, aren’t innocence like guardian angels?

"There is a possibility for us to be angels. We don't know that because God only told us that we are innocence with the power to mergers with human that become our host. Also the ability to kill Akuma. But nothing more. "

“Out of all innocence, only the two of you awake as humans. Or is there other innocence?” Tiedoll ask. Suddenly he become a little excited. “Is my innocence close to awakening as well? Also what are the test you have to pass in order to become human? Can I help my innocence?”

Allen face dropped as he heard that and he actually urged himself to smash his head on the table. How can that man change his attitude so fast. Now he starts to understand how Kanda is feeling.

"Till now. Yes. Only me and my sister had woke up. Unfortunately as the others are asleep I don't know when they would woke up as well. Only the time will tell. So I don't know if yours is close or not. But seeing that you have it from many years and I bet that your bond with your innocence is big, he will woke up soon. And the only thing that you can do is wait. Nothing more. "

General Tiedoll sigh in disappointment but also in happiness. He couldn’t help his innocence at all but soon Eden of Maker would have a human form. He couldn’t wait to bond more with his innocence. Just wait, he and his innocence would fuss over Kanda and Marie and they would be a pretty big family. Now he could also fuss a bit over Allen as well. Unfortunately, he couldn’t fuss to much as that was over Marian’s jurisdiction.   
Kanda couldn’t help but shuddered anxiously. Just thinking that there would be two Tiedoll is just damn nightmarish. He hope the innocence is not the same as Tiedoll.

"Don't worry Kanda", Crown Clown said with a chuckle as he had read the Japanese mind. "Innocence aren't usually as their host. And though I doubt a little that my brother would be like the General here. You had saw Mugen with your own eyes that she is hardly like yours.   
Yes she's a fighter that likes to punch me all the time. But she got the mother instinct as well. If more she is more like the General. So you should worry more about her. "

“Che.” Kanda tsk and look away. Away from the innocence and away from General Tiedoll. Se how he knew that man was sobbing jokingly on how he was so cold or whatever it was that man was thinking about him. Suddenly, his innocence lightened up and Mugen suddenly came in.  
“Right you are little brother.” Mugen said to Crown Clown. “However, it isn’t that bad to have more people worry about Kanda.” Mugen said to Tiedoll.  
“How right you are!” Tiedoll said back.   
Kanda look at the worst possible thing that happened in his life.

Allen looked a little shocked and surprised. From where had that woman come? Hadn't Kanda let his sword in the bedroom?   
Looking at Kanda he could see that his lover is just about to die right now with the woman appearance.

Crown Crown smiled and backed away from his sister. "It's not that bad at all", he said with a nervous smile. The last time he had saw the woman was when the boys were asleep and she had punched him that he had saw starts for hours, for acting reckless.

Kanda look at Mugen. He knows. Somehow, he knew that innocence sneak in when all of them are unaware. He doesn’t know when and he wasn’t quite sure how the heck did it go unnoticed by all of them but he was sure the innocence was with him before it transform. It was probably when he went outside with Allen that Mugen sneak in with them. Kanda breathe evenly.  
Even the heart is nervous around Mugen and his innocence knows about it. With so many people here, it feels like it has become a party.

"Well if you don't have any other questions I think I should return back to my original form. Because I don't want to be punched by my sadistic sister."

Allen actually winced but normally and internally as he heard Crown Clown calling Mugen sadistic. If the woman is as bad as he say that she is then his innocence isn't very smart to call her like this. Especially since she's beside him.

“My dear sweet little brother.” Mugen said, concerned. It was as if she didn’t heard what Crown Clown said about her. “How about we stay here, you know chitchat about the war and answer the question they ask.” She said before glaring at Crown Clown, and said sweetly. “Or are you running away?” As if that wasn’t enough threat, Mugen hugs Crown Clown threateningly.  
Kanda look at his innocence and knew that this was how she supposedly interact with other people. The only exceptions was him and Allen.

Crown Clown hadn't hugged his sister back. Even though he was the heart his sister is so scary when she wants to. Like now.   
"I answered all their questions. I don't want to talk about war. You know what us my opinion about it. Especially now. "  
The innocence freed himself from his sister hug and he turned back in the arm and retached back to Allen.

Mugen frowned, displeased. She tap her foot up and down. When the innocence didn’t come out, she frowned even heavier, twisting her face onto something more meaner.   
Then her face smoothened into a smile, a much more bearable but mean smile.  
Just like that she speaks up, “Since the little brat doesn’t want to speak up anymore, I guess I have to tell you something else.”  
“As you all know, innocence are already beginning to wake up. What he hasn’t warned you is that you will most likely experience pain. The pain is worser the closer you are the innocence,” here she looks at Allen, “especially for parasitic types.”   
“Do not worry, after that one transformation. You wouldn’t feel the pain anymore anytime the innocence transform.” Mugen said. “However, I will warn you to go somewhere safe before your innocence transform.”

Allen sighed as he leaned on his elbow. He doesn't need for the woman to tell him that when he already knows it.   
He could remember clearly the first transformation of his innocence and how painful it's was. So painful that it had made him loss consciousness. But he didn't remember seeing Kanda in pain though.   
Well his lover said that it had happened when he was asleep. But still.

“So beware generals.” Mugen said. “You wouldn’t want for that to transform while you were in the middle of the battle alone. You would probably die.”  
“Also I would tell you this. Not all innocence think about protecting the heart. Some are overzealous about Crown Clown protection and most are mildly protective about him but there are some innocence who hates him. Those innocence thought that they are supposed to be the Heart. They wouldn’t hesitate leave their brother behind dying.” Mugen then sigh a little. “Hmm. I think it’s time to go back. Bye bye.”  
“Oh and Kanda don’t ever leave me again. It might be safe here but I feel better if you could use me to protect yourself.” Mugen lovingly chided Kanda.  
Then she was gone.

Allen chuckled as Mugen had chided Kanda. Yes. He was feeling sorry for his lover now that he got two overprotective parents that would probably drive him crazy.   
Though he didn't show it Allen was actually shocked to hear that some innocence are hating his own. He never thought that it would be possible.

"Hah", Cross said unaffected at all by the woman warning. "I never expected that something like jealousy exists through the God creation as well."

“We never knew.” Tiedoll said. “For all we know it wasn’t jealousy at all but a sense of entitlement or pride. Like how Lucifer the angel who have fallen thinks that we are ants undeserving of God’s love, and undeserving of love from angels more than the love they gave to God, it sets quite a scenario isn’t it?”  
“Isn’t it wonderfull that our innocence is more than a rock unable to emote.” Tiedoll said. “It means that we can negotiate and cooperate with them to take down the Earl.”

"Yeah. That's a good thing", Allen said a little disappointed about the General words. But he shook his head immediately because he shouldn't care about the Earl anymore. Because he knew that he's not Mana that he knew. And after his uncle words. He never was because Mana was possesd by the Earl soul long ago.

Kanda sigh and think about it. Looking at Allen, he seems sad but not as much as before. So Kanda hold Allen’s hands comfortingly.   
Kanda decided to change the topics. He look at Neab and ask, “Are you and Allen still connected or not? Can Allen be categorized as a Noah anymore or not?”


	38. Chapter 38

Allen felt Kanda hand in his and he smiled though he knew that he needs the comfort because he is not affected by it anymore. But he didn't removed his hand. Instead he squeezed it gently.

Nea sighed. "Me and my nephew are still unfortunately connected. Meaning that we can communicate mentally and Allen can still be categorized as Noah because even though we are half parted. He still got my ability in him. We both have them."

“I see.” Kanda said. That means that Allen would still be targeted outside this space for becoming someone so intricately connected by the Earl. It seems that Kanda has to recover and get stronger faster.

“Ah what a mess.” Tiedoll said scratching his head, frustated. “Ah but this was good actually. Even if Allen wasn’t a noah anymore, the Order would still brand him as one. And Allen wouldn’t come back to Order, right?” Tiedoll rhetorically ask Allen. “Then it’s better that he at least gain something from this mess.”

"That's because the Order is a piece of shit that is addicted for power and likes to manipulate anyone and everything on their gain ", Cross said as he smoked his third cigarette. And that's why he doesn't like the Order and he likes to spend as much time away from it as possible.

" I can't believe that I say this. But Master is right. And you are right General. I will still be considered a traitor and Noah. That's why I prefer to stay here and not return back. Even though my innocence is the Heart. "

Kanda nods in agreement. The higher ups of the Order are mostly corrupted. Even if the Order decided go pardon Allen of his supposed ‘crimes’, Allen would still be treated quite badly. Not only that, but if the generals were to be believed, the other exorcists are hostile against Allen. It is far better if they and the Order act separately.

Well even though he knew that Kanda would agree with his saying, he was still glad that he did it. And he was also glad to know that he would not leave as well.

"Ahh. I forgot and important matter ", Cross said as he put his cigarette down." There is a thing. An guardian that protected the Heart but now he got Berserker. I don't know his motive, but I know that is a possibility that he can come after you Allen. And he would eliminate any obstacles ", he said pointing to Kanda.

Rapid thoughts flashed through his mind but he paid it no mind. Instead, Kanda scoffs. “Let them come. I will kill them immediately.”  
Kanda doesn’t care about those innocences but he will destroy them if they dare to harm his Allen.

Tiedoll sweat drop on how protective Kanda is to Allen. At the same time, he was proud at Kanda.

Allen wasn't very pleased about Kanda answer. Especially since he could put himself in danger.

"Yeah. I think that you should think twice before saying anything boy. I don't know much about this Guard. But I know for sure that is very strong and he can't be beaten very easily. Not even the Noah didn't had success in destroying it. "

Tiedoll frowned in worry. If that was then it won’t be easy defeating that person. Unfortunately, he knows Kanda won’t be deterred by it. He knows Kanda would probably dismissed and said he would get stronger. But to his surprise, Kanda did something else. Kanda rolled his eyes but he didn’t dismiss the warning like usually.   
“What do you suggest to do then?” Kanda ask.

Before Cross can say anything, Nea had stopped him and spoke instead of him. "This place is very secure and he would not be able to enter here. For now. Until we got enough information about it you would stay here and do nothing. Fortunately I have an exact person that he would be willing to help us."

Cross looked a bit surprised at Nea because he had figured immediately of whom he was speaking about it. "I wouldn't trust him if I will be in your place. He can be very tricky."

"Well my luck is that I know him longer than you and I know that he would help us without tricking us. Even nephew knew that he knows him for a little while. "

"You do know that he had helped at the she-boy kidnapping. Nea you had many stupid ideas but to trust him it's the stupidest thing you've ever done."

“Who are you talking about?” Kanda frowned. A person who has helped in my kidnapping. That means that person is a noah. That Allen even knows that means that Noah is very familiar. Kanda doesn’t feel that good. He just hopes it wasn’t someone who has tortured him immensely.

Allen had followed his Master and uncle conversation and he was very worried. There is one person that had helped at Kanda kidnapping that he knows very well. Though he doesn't know if he would be willing to help like his uncle said. His hand moved Instinctively and grabbed Kanda hand tightly.   
"They are talking about Tyki ", Allen said before the two man can answer

Kanda scowled. Yes, he is familiar with that man. He doesn’t participate much with the torture but he was the first to land a blow before he was delivered to the Earl. Kanda clenched his hands tightly. Furthermore, he thinks that noah is slightly suspicious. “Why did he help us?”

Allen looked over at Kanda and he could feel that his hand that was holding Kanda own was being clenched very tightly. But he didn't care about it.

Nea sighed knowing that the boys wouldn't like his idea. "Tyki is not like any other Noah. He's more human and he knows the guard the best because he had fought it many times. And I know him very well. He would not have any problems in betraying the Earl."

"NO ", Allen said as he stood up. He knew that Tyki is more human. But he can't let him around them. Especially if he hurt Kanda." Find other plan uncle. "

Kanda grits his teeth. He appreciate it. He really do. He is thankful that Allen would do this for him. However, just because they can do this doesn’t mean they have to do it.  
So he faces Allen and shakes his head. “It’s fine.” Kanda said before smirking a bit. “Besides, he wouldn’t be here anyway. Even if I see him, I would rather beat him to pulp.”

Despite the words and the smile or smirk from Kanda face, Allen is still very unpleased about it. He doesn't want for his lover to remember the horror that he had gone through because of this stupid plan.

"Well ", Nea faced the two boys." He would come here for information and our plan, time to time. But he would not stay permanently. And also I don't want any fighting. "

Kanda glared at the noah. Unfortunately, he can’t really promise that. So with a turn, he che’d. He looks faraway at the window.  
Meanwhile, Tiedoll is displeased. Knowing that one of the person who tortured Kanda will going to be their ally is making him a bit angry. So Tiedoll smiled blandly and ask, “When will he be here?”

Nea sighed and thought about it. And glancing at the two boys he realized that maybe this wasn't a very good plan. Maybe he should listen to his nephew and think of something else. "I don't know. I still need to put my thoughts in order and talk to him to see if he would agree. I said that he can betray the Earl without a problem. But he got an attachment that it would be a problem and he would not agree. I still don't know yet."

Kanda nearly explode in anger. Did he heard the Noah right? The other Noah hasn’t completely betrayed the Earl. How does he have the confidence that that noah would be willing to help them?!  
Tiedoll could clearly see where Kanda is coming from? Even he thought that what the 14th plan was unbelievably reckless!   
Kanda growled loudly. With a snap, he gets his sword, unsheathed, and attack the Noah. That’s how angry Kanda was.

Nea looked a little unfazed and before the sword can reach him he sent Kanda in the wall with his look and kept him pinned there. "Don't act reckless boy."  
Allen eyes widened slightly and he was immediately at Kanda side. He had never thought that his uncle can do this.   
" I know that you don't like my plan but that doesn't mean that you need to attack me", the Noah said keeping Kanda against the wall

Kanda rolled his eyes. He tsk at the Noah. “I do not care about the plan. As long as it can succeed, it was fine for me.” Kanda said. “Even if it is the enemy noah, I can tolerate it.”  
Kanda then glared at the Noah. “What I cannot forgive is how you think you can draft an enemy when you aren’t even sure if you can hold him. One wrong move, and we’ll be toast.”

"Look. When I talked about Tyki attachment I wasn't referring that he would attack his behind his back. But I was talking about his blood older brother. Sheril. He's very sadistic and protective in the same time. If he finds about this he would kill us all without hesitantion. That's why we need to be careful with this plan. But if you are continuing to act reckless like now, then I drop this plan and think of something else. "

“In the first place, why do you even want to draft him in?” Tiedoll asked calmly. As expected of a general, he wasn’t as haste as Kanda. “Why do you think that this Tyki would not betray you or everyone else? Not only that, but how do you think Tyki would be able to betray the Earl, especially, as I heard the Earl is nearly completing his sets of Noah?”

"Corrections. The Earl had all the Noah now. All Noah are awakened and with him. Except me of course.   
And like I said. I know Tyki better then anyone from this room. He isn't a fan of war and fighting. He's kind of a lazy person. He wants more to stay with his human friends and do whatever the hell does. And he had fought the guard many times. And we will have a chance to get more information about it and many other things. "

Kanda pushed the noah away. “Fine. I concede.” Kanda glares at the Noah. “But how do you avoid Tyki from getting discovered? After all there is a mind reader there?”

"I shouldn't worry about Wisely. He is close to Tyki and he would not tell anything. Especially since we have a common enemy. And I'm going to shield Tyki presence as I do with everyone here. So he would not be detected. Not even the Earl hasn't the power to sense anything in my Ark and Mansion. "

Tiedoll sigh. Hearing the plan, even he can’t help but get nervous. Who would not be nervous especially in a plan like this? However, even if he interfere, nothing will change. Unfortunately, he is an outsider. He can’t do anything.  
Kanda, glared at the Noah, and turned away.


End file.
